|John Bartlett (18201905). Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. 1919.|
|Sir William Schwenck Gilbert. (18361911)|
| You have a daughter, Captain Reese,|
Ten female cousins and a niece,
A ma, if what Im told is true,
Six sisters and an aunt or two.
Now, somehow, Sir, it seems to me,
More friendly-like we all should be
If you united of them to
Unmarried members of the crew.
| Captain Reese.|
| Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold|
And the mate of the Nancy brig,
And a bosun tight and a midshipmite
And the crew of the captains gig. 1
| The Yarn of the Nancy Bell.|
| Roll on, thou ball, roll on|
Through pathless realms of space,
| To the Terrestrial Globe.|
| Its true Ive got no shirts to wear,|
Its true my butchers bill is due,
Its true my prospects all look blue,
But dont let that unsettle you!
Never you mind!
(It roll on.)
| To the Terrestrial Globe.|
| He is an Englishman!|
For he himself has said it,
And its greatly to his credit,
That he s an Englishman!
For he might have been a Rooshian
A French or Turk or Proosian,
Or perhaps Itali-an.
But in spite of all temptations
To belong to other nations,
He remains an Englishman.
| The Englishman.|
| I love my fellow-creatures, I do all the good I can,|
Yet everybody says Im such a disagreeable man
And I cant think why!
| The disagreeable Man.|
| Ah, take one consideration with another|
A policemans lot is not a happy one!
| The Policemans Lot.|
| As some day it may happen that a victim must be found|
I ve got a little listI ve got a little list.
Of social offenders who might well be under ground
And who never would be missedwho never would be missed.
| They ll none of them be missed.|
| Bad language or abuse|
I never, never use,
Whatever the emergency;
Though Bother it I may
I never never use a big, big D.
| The first Lords Song.|
| Now landsmen all, whoever you may be,|
If you want to rise to the top of the tree
If your soul is nt fettered to an office stool
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule:
Stick close to your desks and never go to sea
And you all may be Rulers of the Queens Navee.
| The first Lords Song.||
| The Law is the true embodiment|
Of everything thats excellent.
It has no kind of fault or flaw,
And I, my Lords, embody the Law.
| The Lord Chancellors Song.|
| Things are seldom what they seem,|
Skim milk masquerades as cream.
| H. M. S. Pinafore.|
| On a tree by a river a little tomtit|
Sang Willow, titwillow, titwillow
And I said to him, Dicky-bird, why do you sit
Singing Willow, titwillow, titwillow?
Is it weakness of intellect, birdie? I cried,
Or a rather tough worm in your little inside?
With a shake of his poor little head he replied,
Oh, Willow, titwillow, titwillow!
| The Suicides Grave.|
| My object all sublime|
I shall achieve in time
To let the punishment fit the crime.
| The humane Mikado.|
| Lifes a pudding full of plums;|
Cares a canker that benumbs,
Wherefore waste our elocution
On impossible solution?
Lifes a pleasant institution,
Let us take it as it comes!
| The tangled Skein.|
| Man is natures sole mistake.|
| Princess Ida.|
| As innocent as a new-laid egg.|
There were three sailors of Bristol city
Who took a boat and went to sea.
But first with beef and captains biscuits
And pickled pork they loaded she.
There was gorging Jack and guzzling Jimmy,
And the youngest he was little Billee.
Now when they got as far as the Equator
Theyd nothing left but one split pea.
W. M. Thackeray: Little Billee. [back]