| John Bartlett (1820–1905). Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. 1919. |
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| Page 787 |
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| | | Artemus (Charles Farrar Browne) Ward. (1834–1867) |
| | | 7737 | | My pollertics, like my religion, being of an exceedin’ accommodatin’ character. |
| The Crisis. |
| 7738 | | The fack can’t be no longer disgised that a Krysis is onto us. |
| The Crisis. |
| 7739 | | I am not a politician, and my other habits are good. |
| Fourth of July Oration. |
| 7740 | | The prevailin’ weakness of most public men is to Slop over. G. Washington never slopt over. |
| Fourth of July Oration. |
| 7741 | | I can’t sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am. |
| Artemus Ward’s Lecture. |
| 7742 | | N. B. This is rote Sarcastikul. |
| A Visit to Brigham Young. |
| 7743 | | Did you ever have the measels, and if so, how many? |
| The Census. |
| 7744 | | Why is this thus? What is the reason of this thusness? |
| Moses, the Sassy. |
| 7745 | | Let us all be happy and live within our means, even if we have to borrow the money to do it with. |
| Natural History. |
| 7746 | | The sun has a right to “set” where it wants to, and so, I may add, has a hen. |
| A Morman Romance, IV. |
| 7747 | | He is dreadfully married. “He’s the most married man I ever saw in my life.” |
| Moses, the Sassy. |
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