| HEM and Haw were the sons of sin, | |
| Created to shally and shirk; | |
| Hem lay 'round and Haw looked on | |
| While God did all the work. | |
| |
| Hem was a fogy, and Haw was a prig, | 5 |
| For both had the dull, dull mind; | |
| And whenever they found a thing to do, | |
| They yammered and went it blind. | |
| |
| Hem was the father of bigots and bores; | |
| As the sands of the sea were they. | 10 |
| And Haw was the father of all the tribe | |
| Who criticize to-day. | |
| |
| But God was an artist from the first, | |
| And knew what he was about; | |
| While over his shoulder sneered these two, | 15 |
| And advised him to rub it out. | |
| |
| They prophesied ruin ere man was made; | |
| "Such folly must surely fail!" | |
| And when he was done, "Do you think, my Lord, | |
| He's better without a tail?" | 20 |
| |
| And still in the honest working world, | |
| With posture and hint and smirk, | |
| These sons of the devil are standing by | |
| While man does all the work. | |
| |
| They balk endeavor and baffle reform, | 25 |
| In the sacred name of law; | |
| And over the quavering voice of Hem | |
| Is the droning voice of Haw. | |
