Act Third. Scene II. Sheridan, Richard Brinsley. 1909-14. The School for Scandal. The Harvard Classics

Fiction > Harvard Classics > Richard Brinsley Sheridan > The School for Scandal

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Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751–1816). The School for Scandal.
The Harvard Classics. 1909–14.

Act Third

Scene II


A Room in CHARLES SURFACE’S House	1

Enter TRIP, MOSES, and SIR OLIVER SURFACE	2
Trip. Here, Master Moses! if you’ll stay a moment I’ll try whether—what’s the gentleman’s name?	3
Sir Oliv. Mr. Moses, what is my name? [Aside to MOSES.	4
Mos. Mr. Premium.	5
Trip. Premium—very well. [Exit taking snuff.	6
Sir Oliv. To judge by the servants, one wouldn’t believe the master was ruined. But what!—sure, this was my brother’s house?	7
Mos. Yes, sir; Mr. Charles bought it of Mr. Joseph, with the furniture, pictures, &c., just as the old gentleman left it. Sir Peter thought it a piece of extravagance in him.	8
Sir Oliv. In my mind, the other’s economy in selling it to him was more reprehensible by half.	9

Re-enter TRIP	10
Trip. My master says you must wait, gentlemen: he has company, and can’t speak with you yet.	11
Sir Oliv. If he knew who it was wanted to see him, perhaps he would not send such a message.	12
Trip. Yes, yes, sir; he knows you are here—I did not forget little Premium: no, no, no.	13
Sir Oliv. Very well; and I pray, sir, what may be your name?	14
Trip. Trip, sir; my name is Trip, at your service.	15
Sir Oliv. Well, then, Mr. Trip, you have a pleasant sort of place here, I guess?	16
Trip. Why, yes—here are three or four of us pass our time agreeably enough; but then our wages are sometimes a little in arrear—and not very great either—but fifty pounds a year, and find our own bags and bouquets.	17
Sir Oliv. Bags and bouquets! halters and bastinadoes! [Aside.	18
Trip. And à propos, Moses, have you been able to get me that little bill discounted?	19
Sir Oliv. Wants to raise money too!—mercy on me! Has his distresses too, I warrant, like a lord, and affects creditors and duns. [Aside.	20
Mos. ’Twas not to be done, indeed, Mr. Trip.	21
Trip. Good luck, you surprise me! My friend Brush has indorsed it, and I thought when he put his name at the back of a bill ’twas the same as cash.	22
Mos. No, ’twouldn’t do.	23
Trip. A small sum—but twenty pounds. Hark’ee, Moses, do you think you couldn’t get it me by way of annuity?	24
Sir Oliv. An annuity! ha! ha! a footman raise money by way of annuity. Well done, luxury, egad! [Aside.	25
Mos. Well, but you must insure your place.	26
Trip. Oh, with all my heart! I’ll insure my place, and my life too, if you please.	27
Sir Oliv. It’s more than I would your neck. [Aside.	28
Mos. But is there nothing you could deposit?	29
Trip. Why, nothing capital of my master’s wardrobe has dropped lately; but I could give you a mortgage on some of his winter clothes, with equity of redemption before November—or you shall have the reversion of the French velvet, or a post-obit on the blue and silver;—these, I should think, Moses, with a few pair of point ruffles, as a collateral security—hey, my little fellow?	30
Mos. Well, well. [Bell rings.	31
Trip. Egad, I heard the bell. I believe, gentlemen, I can now introduce you. Don’t forget the annuity, little Moses! This way, gentlemen, I’ll insure my place, you know.	32
Sir Oliv. [Aside.] If the man be a shadow of the master, this is the temple of dissipation indeed! [Exeunt.	33

CONTENTS · BOOK CONTENTS · BIBLIOGRAPHIC RECORD · DRAMATIS PERSONÆ

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