The First Satyr In Dialogue betwixt the Poet and his friend or Monitor.
PERSIUS. HOW anxious are our Cares, and yet how vain | |
The bent of our desires!
FRIEND. Thy Spleen contain: | |
| For none will read thy Satyrs. | |
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PERSIUS. This to me? | |
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FRIEND. None; or whats next to none, but two or three. | 5 |
| Tis hard, I grant. | |
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PERSIUS. Tis nothing; I can bear | |
| That paltry Scriblers have the Publick Ear: | |
| That this vast universal Fool, the Town, | |
| Shoud cry up Labeos Stuff, 1 and cry me down. | 10 |
| They damn themselves; nor will my Muse descend | |
| To clap with such, who Fools and Knaves commend: | |
| Their Smiles and Censures are to me the same: | |
| I care not what they praise, or what they blame. | |
| In full Assemblies let the Crowd prevail: | 15 |
| I weigh no Merit by the common Scale. | |
| The Conscience is the Test of evry Mind; | |
| Seek not thy self, without thy self, to find. | |
| But wheres that Roman?Somewhat I woud say, | |
| But Fear;let Fear, for once, to Truth give way. | 20 |
| Truth lends the Stoick Courage: when I look | |
| On Humane Acts, and read in Natures Book, | |
| From the first Pastimes of our Infant Age, | |
| To elder Cares, and Mans severer Page; | |
| When stern as Tutors, and as Uncles hard, | 25 |
| We lash the Pupil, and defraud the Ward: | |
| Then, then I say,or woud say, if I durst | |
| But thus provokd, I must speak out, or burst. | |
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FRIEND. Once more forbear. | |
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PERSIUS. I cannot rule my Spleen: | 30 |
| My scorn Rebels, and tickles me within. | |
| First, to begin at Home, our Authors write | |
| In lonely Rooms, securd from publick sight; | |
| Whether in Prose, or Verse, tis all the same: | |
| The Prose is Fustian, and the Numbers lame. | 35 |
| All Noise, and empty Pomp, a storm of words, | |
| Labring with sound, that little Sence affords. | |
| They Comb, 2 and then they order evry Hair: | |
| A Gown, or White, or Scourd to whiteness, wear: | |
| A Birth-day Jewel bobbing at their Ear. | 40 |
| Next, gargle well their Throats; and thus prepard, | |
| They mount, a Gods Name, to be seen and heard, | |
| From their high Scaffold, with a Trumpet Cheek, | |
| And Ogling all their Audience ere they speak. | |
| The nauseous Nobles, evn the Chief of Rome, | 45 |
| With gaping Mouths to these Rehearsals come, | |
| And pant with Pleasure, when some lusty line | |
| The Marrow pierces, and invades the Chine. | |
| At open fulsom Bawdry they rejoice, | |
| And slimy Jests applaud with broken Voice. | 50 |
| Base Prostitute, thus dost thou gain thy Bread? | |
| Thus dost thou feed their Ears, and thus art fed? | |
| At his own filthy stuff he grins and brays: | |
| And gives the sign where he expects their praise. | |
| Why have I Learnd, sayst thou, if thus confind, | 55 |
| I choak the Noble Vigour of my Mind? | |
| Know, my wild Fig-Tree, 3 which in Rocks is bred, | |
| Will split the Quarry, and shoot out the Head. | |
| Fine Fruits of Learning! Old Ambitious Fool, | |
| Darst thou apply that Adage of the School; | 60 |
| As if tis nothing worth that lies conceald, | |
| And Science is not Science till Reveald? | |
| Oh, but tis Brave to be Admird, to see | |
| The Crowd, with pointing Fingers, cry, Thats he: | |
| Thats he, whose wondrous Poem is become | 65 |
| A Lecture for the Noble Youth of Rome! | |
| Who, by their Fathers, is at Feasts Renownd; | |
| And often quoted, when the Bowls go round. | |
| Full gorgd and flushd, they wantonly Rehearse; | |
| And add to Wine the Luxury of Verse. | 70 |
| One, clad in Purple, not to lose his time, | |
| Eats, and recites some lamentable Rhime: | |
| Some Senceless Phyllis, in a broken Note, | |
| Snuffling at Nose, or 4 croaking in his Throat: | |
| Then Graciously the mellow Audience Nod: | 75 |
| Is not th Immortal Authour made a God? | |
| Are not his Manes blest, such Praise to have? | |
| Lies not the Turf more lightly on his Grave? | |
| And Roses (while his lowd Applause they Sing) | |
| Stand ready from his Sepulcher to spring? | 80 |
| All these, you cry, but light Objections are; | |
| Meer Malice, and you drive the Jest too far. | |
| For does there Breathe a Man, who can reject | |
| A general Fame, and his own Lines neglect? | |
| In Cedar Tablets 5 worthy to appear, | 85 |
| That need not Fish, or Franckincense to fear? | |
| Thou, whom I make the adverse part to bear, | |
| Be answerd thus: If I, by chance, succeed | |
| In what I Write, (and thats a chance indeed;) | |
| Know, I am not so stupid, or so hard, | 90 |
| Not to feel Praise, or Fames deservd Reward: | |
| But this I cannot grant, that thy Applause | |
| Is my Works ultimate, or only Cause. | |
| Prudence can nere propose so mean a prize; | |
| For mark what Vanity within it lies. | 95 |
| Like Labeos Iliads, in whose Verse is found | |
| Nothing but trifling care, and empty sound: | |
| Such little Elegies as Nobles Write, | |
| Who woud be poets, in Apollos spight. | |
| Them and their woful Works the Muse defies: | 100 |
| Products of Citron Beds 6 and Golden Canopies. | |
| To give thee all thy due, thou hast the Heart | |
| To make a Supper, with a fine dessert; | |
| And to thy threed-bare Friend, a cast old Sute impart. | |
| Thus Bribd, thou thus bespeakst him, Tell 7 me Friend | 105 |
| (For I love Truth, nor can plain Speech offend,) | |
| What says the World of me and of my Muse? | |
| The Poor dare nothing tell but flattring News: | |
| But shall I speak? thy Verse is wretched Rhyme; | |
| And all thy Labours are but loss of time. | 110 |
| Thy strutting Belly swells, thy Paunch is high; | |
| Thou Writst not, but thou Pissest Poetry. | |
| All Authours to their own defects are blind; | |
| Hadst thou but, Janus like, 8 a Face behind, | |
| To see the people, what splay-Mouths they make; | 115 |
| To mark their Fingers, pointed at thy back: | |
| Their Tongues lolld out, a foot beyond the pitch, | |
| When most athirst, of an Apulian Bitch: | |
| But Noble Scriblers are with Flattry fed; | |
| For none dare find their faults, who Eat their Bread. | 120 |
| To pass the Poets of Patrician Blood, | |
| What ist the common Reader takes for good? | |
| The Verse in fashion is, when Numbers flow, | |
| Soft without Sence, and without Spirit slow: | |
| So smooth and equal, that no sight can find | 125 |
| The Rivet, where the polishd piece was joind. | |
| So even all, with such a steady view, | |
| As if he shut one Eye to level true. | |
| Whether the Vulgar Vice his Satyr stings, | |
| The Peoples Riots, or the Rage of Kings, | 130 |
| The gentle Poet is alike in all; | |
| His Reader hopes no rise, and fears no fall. | |
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FRIEND. Hourly we see some Raw Pin-featherd thing | |
| Attempt to mount, and Fights, and Heroes sing; | |
| Who, for false quantities, was whipt at School | 135 |
| But t other day, and breaking Grammar Rule, | |
| Whose trivial Art was never tryd, above | |
| The bare description of a Native Grove: | |
| Who knows not how to praise the Country store, | |
| The Feasts, the Baskets, nor the fatted Bore; | 140 |
| Nor paint the flowry Fields, that paint themselves before. | |
| Where Romulus was Bred, and Quintius Born, 9 | |
| Whose shining Plough-share was in Furrows worn, | |
| Met by his trembling Wife, returning Home, | |
| And Rustically Joyd, as Chief of Rome: | 145 |
| She wipd the Sweat from the Dictators Brow; | |
| And ore his Back, his Robe did rudely throw; | |
| The Lictors bore, in State, their Lords Triumphant Plough. | |
| Some love to hear the Fustian Poet roar; | |
| And some on Antiquated Authours pore: | 150 |
| Rummage for Sense; and think those only good | |
| Who labour most, and least are understood. | |
| When thou shalt see the Blear-Eyd Fathers teach | |
| Their Sons, this harsh and mouldy sort of Speech; | |
| Or others new affected ways to try, | 155 |
| Of wanton smoothness, Female Poetry; | |
| One would enquire, from whence this motley Stile | |
| Did first our Roman Purity defile: | |
| For our Old Dotards cannot keep their Seat; | |
| But leap and catch at all thats obsolete. | 160 |
| Others, by Foolish Ostentation led, | |
| When calld before the Bar, to save their Head, | |
| Bring trifling Tropes, instead of solid Sence: | |
| And mind their Figures more than their Defence, | |
| Are pleasd to hear their thick-sculld Judges cry, | 165 |
| Well movd, oh finely said, and decently! | |
| Theft (says th Accuser) to thy Charge I lay, | |
| O Pedius! What does gentle Pedius say? | |
| Studious to please the Genius of the Times, | |
| With Periods, 10 Points, and Tropes, he slurs his Crimes: | 170 |
| He Robbd not, but he Borrowd from the Poor; | |
| And took but with intention to restore. | |
| He lards with flourishes his long Harangue; | |
| Tis fine, sayst thou; What, to 11 be Praisd and Hang? | |
| Effeminate Roman, shall such Stuff prevail | 175 |
| To tickle thee, and make thee wag thy Tail? | |
| Say, shoud a Shipwrackd Saylor sing his woe, | |
| Woudst thou be movd to pity, or bestow | |
| An Alms? Whats more prepostrous than to see | |
| A Merry Beggar? Mirth in misery? | 180 |
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PERSIUS. He seems a Trap, for Charity, to lay: | |
| And cons, by Night, his Lesson for the day. | |
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FRIEND. But to raw Numbers, and unfinished Verse, | |
| Sweet sound is added now, to make it Terse: | |
| Tis taggd with Rhyme, like Berecynthian Atys, 12 | 185 |
| The mid part chimes with Art, which never flat is. | |
| The Dolphin brave, that cut 13 the liquid Wave, | |
| Or He who in his line, can chine the long-ribd Apennine. | |
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PERSIUS. All this is Dogrel Stuff: | |
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FRIEND. What if I bring | 190 |
| A Nobler Verse? Arms and the Man 14 I sing. | |
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PERSIUS. Why name you Virgil with such Fops as these? | |
| Hes truly great, and must for ever please. | |
| Not fierce, but awful is his Manly Page; | |
| Bold is his Strength, but sober is his Rage. | 195 |
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FRIEND. What Poems think you soft? and to be read | |
| With languishing regards, and bending Head? | |
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PERSIUS. Their crooked Horns 15 the Mimallontan Crew | |
| With Blasts inspird; and Bassaris who slew | |
| The scornful Calf, with Sword advancd on high, | 200 |
| Made from his Neck his haughty Head to fly. | |
| And Mænas, when with Ivy-bridles bound, | |
| She led the spotted Lynx, then Evion rung around; | |
| Evion from Woods and Floods repairing Ecchos sound. | |
| Coud such rude Lines a Roman Mouth become, | 205 |
| Were any Manly Greatness left in Rome? | |
| Mænas and Atys 16 in the Mouth were bred; | |
| And never hatchd within the labring Head: | |
| No Blood, from bitten Nails, those Poems drew: | |
| But churnd, like Spettle, from the Lips they flew. | 210 |
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FRIEND. Tis Fustian all; tis execrably bad: | |
| But if they will be Fools, must you be mad? | |
| Your Satyrs, let me tell you, are too fierce; | |
| The Great will never bear so blunt a Verse. | |
| Their Doors are barrd against a bitter flout: | 215 |
| Snarl, if you please, but you shall snarl without. | |
| Expect such Pay as railing Rhymes deserve, | |
| Yare in a very hopeful way to sterve. | |
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PERSIUS. Rather than so, uncensurd let em be | |
| All, all is admirably well, for me. | 220 |
| My harmless Rhyme shall scape the dire disgrace | |
| Of Common-shores, and evry pissing-place. | |
| Two painted Serpents 17 shall, on high, appear; | |
| Tis Holy Ground; you must not Urine here. | |
| This shall be writ to fright the Fry away, | 225 |
| Who draw their little Bawbles, when they play. | |
| Yet old Lucilius 18 never feard the times, | |
| But lashd the City, and dissected Crimes. | |
| Mutius and Lupus both by Name he brought; | |
| He mouthd em, and betwixt his Grinders caught. | 230 |
| Unlike in method, with conceald design, | |
| Did crafty Horace his low Numbers joyn: | |
| And, with a sly insinuating Grace, | |
| Laughd at his Friend, and lookd him in the Face: | |
| Would raise a Blush, where secret Vice he found; | 235 |
| And tickle, while he gently probd the Wound. | |
| With seeming Innocence the Crowd beguild; | |
| But made the desperate Passes, when he smild. | |
| Could he do this, and is my Muse controlld | |
| By Servile Awe? Born free, and not be bold? | 240 |
| At least, Ill dig a hole within the Ground; | |
| And to the trusty Earth commit the sound | |
| The Reeds shall tell you what the poet Fears | |
| King Midas 19 has a Snout, and Asses Ears | |
| This mean conceit, this darling Mystery, | 245 |
| Which thou thinkst nothing, Friend, thou shalt not buy, | |
| Nor will I change, for all the flashy Wit, | |
| That flattring Labeo in his Iliads writ. | |
| Thou, if there be a thou, in this base Town | |
| Who dares, with angry Eupolis, to frown | 250 |
| He, who, with bold Cratinus, 20 is inspird | |
| With Zeal, and equal Indignation fird; | |
| Who, at enormous Villany, turns pale, | |
| And steers against it with a full-blown Sail | |
| Like Aristophanes; let him but smile | 255 |
| On this my honest Work, tho writ i homely Stile: | |
| And if two Lines or three in all the Vein | |
| Appear less drossy, read those Lines again | |
| May they perform their Authors just Intent, | |
| Glow in thy Ears, and in thy Breast ferment. | 260 |
| But from the reading of my Book and me, | |
| Be far ye Foes of Virtuous Poverty: | |
| Who Fortunes fault 21 upon the Poor can throw; | |
| Point at the tatterd Coat, and ragged Shooe: | |
| Lay Natures failings to their Charge, and jeer | 265 |
| The dim week Eye-sight, when the Mind is clear. | |
| When thou thy self, thus insolent in State | |
| Art but, perhaps, some Country Magistrate; | |
| Whose Powr extends no farther than to speak | |
| Big on the Bench, and scanty Weights to break. | 270 |
| Him, also, for my Censor I disdain, | |
| Who thinks all Science, as all Virtue vain; | |
| Who counts Geometry, and Numbers, Toys; | |
| And with his Foot 22 the Sacred Dust destroys: | |
| Whose Pleasure is to see a Strumpet tear | 275 |
| A Cynicks Beard, and lug him by the [Greek]; | |
| Such, all the Morning, to the Pleadings run; | |
| But when the Busness of the Day is done, | |
| On Dice, and Drink, and Drabs, they spend their Afternoon. | |