December 20.SOMEHOW I got thinking to-day of young mens deathsnot at all sadly or sentimentally, but gravely, realistically, perhaps a little artistically. Let me give the following three cases from budgets of personal memoranda, which I have been turning over, alone in my room, and resuming and dwelling on, this rainy afternoon. Who is there to whom the theme does not come home? Then I dont know how it may be to others, but to me not only is there nothing gloomy or depressing in such caseson the contrary, as reminiscences, I find them soothing, bracing, tonic.
ERASTUS HASKELL.[I just transcribe verbatim from a letter written by myself in one of the army hospitals, 16 years ago, during the secession war.] Washington, July 28, 1863.Dear M.,I am writing this in the hospital, sitting by the side of a soldier, I do not expect to last many hours. His fate has been a hard onehe seems to be only about 19 or 20Erastus Haskell, company K, 141st N. Y.has been out about a year, and sick or half-sick more than half that timehas been down on the peninsulawas detaild to go in the band as fifer-boy. While sick, the surgeon told him to keep up with the rest(probably workd and marchd too long.) He is a shy, and seems to me a very sensible boyhas fine mannersnever complainswas sick down on the peninsula in an old storehousetyphoid fever. The first week this July was brought up herejourney very bad, no accommodations, no nourishment, nothing but hard jolting, and exposure enough to make a well man sick; (these fearful journeys do the job for many)arrived here July 11tha silent dark-skinnd Spanish-looking Doctor F. here made light of his sicknesssaid he would recover soon, &c.; but I thought very different, and told F. so repeatedly; (I came near quarreling with him about it from the first)but he laughd, and would not listen to me. About four days ago, I told Doctor he would in my opinion lose the boy without doubtbut F. again laughd at me. The next day he changed his opinionI brought the head surgeon of the posthe said the boy would probably die, but they would make a hard fight for him.
The last two days he has been lying panting for breatha pitiful sight. I have been with him some every day or night since he arrived. He suffers a great deal with the heatsays little or nothingis flighty the last three days, at timesknows me always, howevercalls me Walter(sometimes calls the name over and over and over again, musingly, abstractedly, to himself.) His father lives at Breesport, Chemung county, N. Y., is a mechanic with large familyis a steady, religious man; his mother too is living. I have written to them, and shall write again to-dayErastus has not receivd a word from home for months.
As I sit here writing to you, M., I wish you could see the whole scene. This young man lies within reach of me, flat on his back, his hands claspd across his breast, his thick black hair cut close; he is dozing, breathing hard, every breath a spasmit looks so cruel. He is a noble youngster,I consider him past all hope. Often there is no one with him for a long while. I am here as much as possible.
WILLIAM ALCOTT, fireman. Camden, Nov., 1874.Last Monday afternoon his widow, mother, relatives, mates of the fire department, and his other friends, (I was one, only lately it is true, but our love grew fast and close, the days and nights of those eight weeks by the chair of rapid decline, and the bed of death,) gatherd to the funeral of this young man, who had grown up, and was well-known here. With nothing special, perhaps, to record, I would give a word or two to his memory. He seemd to me not an inappropriate specimen in character and elements, of that bulk of the average good American race that ebbs and flows perennially beneath this scum of eructations on the surface. Always very quiet in manner, neat in person and dress, good temperdpunctual and industrious at his work, till he could work no longerhe just lived his steady, square, unobtrusive life, in its own humble sphere, doubtless unconscious of itself. (Though I think there were currents of emotion and intellect undevelopd beneath, far deeper than his acquaintances ever suspectedor than he himself ever did.) He was no talker. His troubles, when he had any, he kept to himself. As there was nothing querulous about him in life, he made no complaints during his last sickness. He was one of those persons that while his associates never thought of attributing any particular talent or grace to him, yet all insensibly, really, liked Billy Alcott.
I, too, loved him. At last, after being with him quite a good dealafter hours and days of panting for breath, much of the time unconscious, (for though the consumption that had been lurking in his system, once thoroughly started, made rapid progress, there was still great vitality in him, and indeed for four or five days he lay dying, before the close,) late on Wednesday night, Nov. 4th, where we surrounded his bed in silence, there came a lulla longer drawn breath, a pause, a faint sighanothera weaker breath, another sigha pause again and just a trembleand the face of the poor wasted young man (he was just 26,) fell gently over, in death, on my hand, on the pillow.
CHARLES CASWELL.[I extract the following, verbatim, from a letter to me dated September 29, from my friend John Burroughs, at Esopus-on-Hudson, New York State.] S. was away when your picture came, attending his sick brother, Charleswho has since diedan event that has saddend me much. Charlie was younger than S., and a most attractive young fellow. He workd at my fathers, and had done so for two years. He was about the best specimen of a young country farm-hand I ever knew. You would have loved him. He was like one of your poems. With his great strength, his blond hair, his cheerfulness and contentment, his universal good will, and his silent manly ways, he was a youth hard to match. He was murderd by an old doctor. He had typhoid fever, and the old fool bled him twice. He lived to wear out the fever, but had not strength to rally. He was out of his head nearly all the time. In the morning, as he died in the afternoon, S. was standing over him, when Charlie put up his arms around S.s neck, and pulld his face down and kissd him. S. said he knew then the end was near. (S. stuck to him day and night to the last.) When I was home in August, Charlie was cradling on the hill, and it was a picture to see him walk through the grain. All work seemd play to him. He had no vices, any more than Nature has, and was belovd by all who knew him.
I have written thus to you about him, for such young men belong to you; he was of your kind. I wish you could have known him. He had the sweetness of a child, and the strength and courage and readiness of a young Viking. His mother and father are poor; they have a rough, hard farm. His mother works in the field with her husband when the work presses. She has had twelve children.