Edmund Clarence Stedman, ed. (18331908). A Victorian Anthology, 18371895. 1895. |
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On an Old Muff |
| Frederick Locker-Lampson (182195) |
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TIME has a magic wand! | |
What is this meets my hand, | |
Moth-eaten, mouldy, and | |
Coverd with fluff? | |
Faded, and stiff, and scant; | 5 |
Can it be? no, it cant, | |
Yes, I declare, it s Aunt | |
Prudences muff! | |
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Years ago, twenty-three, | |
Old Uncle Doubledee | 10 |
Gave it to Aunty P. | |
Laughing and teasing: | |
Prue of the breezy curls, | |
Whisper those solemn churls, | |
What holds a pretty girls | 15 |
Hand without squeezing? | |
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Uncle was then a lad | |
Gay, but, I grieve to add, | |
Sinful, if smoking bad | |
Baccys a vice: | 20 |
Glossy was then this mink | |
Muff, lined with pretty pink | |
Satin, which maidens think | |
Awfully nice! | |
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I seem to see again | 25 |
Aunt in her hood and train | |
Glide, with a sweet disdain, | |
Gravely to Meeting: | |
Psalm-book, and kerchief new, | |
Peepd from the Muff of Prue; | 30 |
Young men, and pious too, | |
Giving her greeting. | |
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Sweetly her Sabbath sped | |
Then; from this Muff, it s said, | |
Tracts she distributed: | 35 |
Converts (till Monday!), | |
Lurd by the grace they lackd, | |
Followd her. One, in fact, | |
Askd forand gothis tract | |
Twice of a Sunday! | 40 |
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Love has a potent spell; | |
Soon this bold neer-do-well, | |
Aunts too susceptible | |
Heart undermining, | |
Slippd, so the scandal runs, | 45 |
Notes in the pretty nuns | |
Muff,triple-cornerd ones, | |
Pink as its lining. | |
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Worse followd: soon the jade | |
Fled (to oblige her blade!) | 50 |
Whilst her friends thought that they d | |
Lockd her up tightly: | |
After such shocking games | |
Aunt is of wedded dames | |
Gayest, and now her names | 55 |
Mrs. Golightly. | |
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In female conduct, flaw | |
Sadder I never saw. | |
Faith still I ve in the law | |
Of compensation. | 60 |
Once Uncle went astray, | |
Smokd, jokd, and swore away; | |
Sworn by he s now, by a | |
Large congregation. | |
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Changed is the Child of Sin; | 65 |
Now he s (he once was thin) | |
Grave, with a double chin, | |
Blest be his fat form! | |
Changed is the garb he wore, | |
Preacher was never more | 70 |
Prizd than is Uncle for | |
Pulpit or platform. | |
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If all s as best befits | |
Mortals of slender wits, | |
Then beg this Muff and its | 75 |
Fair Owner pardon: | |
All s for the best, indeed | |
Such is my simple creed: | |
Still I must go and weed | |
Hard in my garden. | 80 |
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