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Anonymous translation I WAS not made of common calf, | |
| Nor ever meant for country loon; | |
| If with an axe I seem cut out, | |
| The workman was no cobbling clown; | |
| A good jack-boot with double sole he made, | 5 |
| To roam the woods, or through the rivers wade. | |
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| Down from the thigh unto the heel | |
| I m ever wet, and stand it well; | |
| Good for the chase, or spurring hard, | |
| As many jackasses can tell. | 10 |
| Sewn strong with solid stitching, you must know, | |
| At top a hem, all down a seam I show. | |
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| But then, to don I m rather hard; | |
| Unfit for wear of hucksters small, | |
| I tire and gall a feeble foot, | 15 |
| And most mens legs dont fit at all. | |
| To wear me long has been the lot of none; | |
| A little while has satisfied each one. | |
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| I ll give you here no catalogue | |
| Of all who wished to try their foot; | 20 |
| But here and there, merely for fun, | |
| The most illustrious I ll quote. | |
| How torn and maimed I ve been I ll tell in brief, | |
| And then how passed along from thief to thief. | |
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| T will seem incredible; but once | 25 |
| I set off at a gallop round, | |
| And traversed all the world full speed; | |
| But, running over too much ground, | |
| I lost my balance, and I fell down smack | |
| By my own weight, full-length upon my back. | 30 |
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| Then was a rumpus and a row; | |
| Men of all nations, greatest, least, | |
| Poured down some thousand thousand miles, | |
| Led by the Devil and a priest: | |
| Some caught the leg, some held the tasselled tie; | 35 |
| And Touch and take! was on all sides the cry. | |
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| A priest, regardless of the faith, | |
| Helped or unhelped would put me on, | |
| Then found I did not fit his foot, | |
| So let me out to any one; | 40 |
| And thus at last in the first comers hands | |
| He leaves me, and for boot-hook only stands. | |
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| A German braggart with the priest | |
| Played pikes to put his heel in me; | |
| But homewards on St. Francis nag | 45 |
| Full many a time I ve seen him flee. | |
| Again he hither came, but sore of foot; | |
| Nor has he ever yet quite donned the Boot. | |
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| Unworn for one whole age or more, | |
| Then pulled on by a merchant plain, | 50 |
| He greased me fresh, and made me trot | |
| To the Levant and back again. | |
| Unpolished, true; but not one jot I failed, | |
| With rare good hobs and sparables well nailed. | |
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| The merchant throve; then thought it right | 55 |
| To polish up and smarten me; | |
| I wore the spur, the fleece of gold, | |
| But lost my old consistency. | |
| Change followed change, that now I plainly see | |
| That my first nails were far the best for me. | 60 |
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| I had nor rip nor wrinkle then; | |
| When from the west a pilfering oaf | |
| Jumped from his galley on my heel, | |
| Tried even to insert his hoof. | |
| But comfortably there he could not stay; | 65 |
| And at Palermo him I lamed one day. | |
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| Mongst ultramontane amateurs | |
| A certain King of Spades essayed, | |
| With feet and hands to put me on; | |
| But like Berlicche there he stayed, | 70 |
| When jealous of the roost a Capon crowing, | |
| Just threatened him to set the bells a-going. | |
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| My ruin to complete just then, | |
| Or maybe later, an M. D., | |
| Leaving his drugs and shop, rushed forth; | 75 |
| Upon my upper-leathers he | |
| To help my case devised intrigues and lies, | |
| Whose web was woven for three centuries. | |
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| He polished, gimcracked me all oer, | |
| And with emollients, glosses rare, | 80 |
| He rubbed me till I lost my skin; | |
| And he who had me next in care | |
| Still doctored me according to the rule | |
| Of that iniquitious and cursed school. | |
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| Thus tossed about from hand to hand, | 85 |
| I every harpys mark became. | |
| Both Frank and Spaniard I endured, | |
| Who played the Devil and Bakers game. | |
| Don Quixote proved at length the lucky wight; | |
| But rent and ridiculed he held me tight. | 90 |
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| Who saw me on the Spaniards foot | |
| Say that I sat malissimo, | |
| Though greased and varnish-daubed, and styled, | |
| Chiarissimo, Illustrissimo. | |
| But on the sly he used the file so sore, | 95 |
| That I was left more ragged than before. | |
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| Thenceforth each one at his own will | |
| Using the pincers and the awl | |
| From frying-pan to fire I fell. | |
| Rogues, bullies, barons, great and small, | 100 |
| To torture me had each a new idea, | |
| Et diviserunt vestimenta mea. | |
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| Thus shuffled on from hoof to hoof | |
| Of each untutored clownish brute, | |
| I ve come to lose the olden print | 105 |
| Of that upright, well-planted foot, | |
| On which, without one single crooked tread, | |
| The circuit of the Universe I made. | |
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| O wretched boot! I must confess | |
| One foolish plan has me undone; | 110 |
| Of walking with anothers legs | |
| When it was time to use my own; | |
| And more than this, the madness most unmeet, | |
| Of hoping change of luck from change of feet. | |
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| With tears I say it; for I feel | 115 |
| Myself all shattered and awry; | |
| Earth seems to shake beneath my tread | |
| If but one single step I try. | |
| By dint of letting bad guides lead me so, | |
| I ve lost the habit and the power to go. | 120 |
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| But my worst foes have been the priests, | |
| Unconscionable grasping race! | |
| I d have at certain poets too | |
| Who count their bead-roll nowadays, | |
| Christ goes for nothing; the Decretal puts | 125 |
| A veto gainst the priesthood wearing boots. | |
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| Torn and neglected now I lie, | |
| And pawed by every dirty hand, | |
| Long have I waited for some leg | |
| To fill my wrinkles, make me stand; | 130 |
| No German leg or Frenchmans be it known, | |
| But one within my native country grown. | |
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| A certain great mans once I tried, | |
| Who, had he not gone strolling forth, | |
| Might well have boasted he possessed | 135 |
| In me the strongest boot on earth. | |
| But snow-storms, on his crooked course one day, | |
| Froze both his legs just as he got half-way. | |
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| Refitted on the ancient last | |
| And subject to the knife again, | 140 |
| Though once of mighty worth and weight, | |
| My under-leathers scarce remain; | |
| And as for patching holes both new and old, | |
| It is not thread nor pegs will make them hold. | |
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| The cost is dear, the labor long; | 145 |
| You must patch over piece by piece; | |
| Brush off the dirt in ancient mode, | |
| Drive nails and brads; then by degrees | |
| The calf and upper-leathers all remake: | |
| But to the cobbler go, for Heavens sake! | 150 |
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| Find me but out some man; he ll do, | |
| If only not a coward: when | |
| I find myself upon his foot, | |
| Should some kind sir, like former men, | |
| Presume with me in the old way to treat, | 155 |
| We ll give him a sound kick on honors seat. | |
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