THERISTES of amphibious breed, | |
| Motley fruit of mongrel seed: | |
| By the dam from lordlings sprung, | |
| By the sire exhaled from dung: | |
| Think on every vice in both, | 5 |
| Look on him, and see their growth. | |
| View him on the mother’s side, | |
| Filled with falsehood, spleen, and pride, | |
| Positive and overbearing, | |
| Changing still, and still adhering, | 10 |
| Spiteful, peevish, rude, untoward, | |
| Fierce in tongue, in heart a coward; | |
| When his friends he most is hard on, | |
| Cringing comes to beg their pardon; | |
| Reputation ever tearing, | 15 |
| Ever dearest friendship swearing; | |
| Judgment weak, and passion strong; | |
| Always various, always wrong; | |
| Provocation never waits, | |
| Where he loves, or where he hates; | 20 |
| Talks whate’er comes in his head, | |
| Wishes it were all unsaid. | |
| Let me now the vices trace, | |
| From his father’s scoundrel race, | |
| Who could give the looby such airs? | 25 |
| Were they masons? Were they butchers? | |
| Herald lend the Muse an answer, | |
| From his atavus and grandsire! | |
| This was dexterous at his trowel, | |
| That was bred to kill a cow well: | 30 |
| Hence the greasy clumsy mien | |
| In his dress and figure seen; | |
| Hence that mean and sordid soul, | |
| Like his body, rank and foul; | |
| Hence that wild suspicious peep, | 35 |
| Like a rogue that steals a sheep; | |
| Hence he learned the butcher’s guile, | |
| How to cut a throat and smile; | |
| Like a butcher doomed for life | |
| In his mouth to wear his knife; | 40 |
| Hence he draws his daily food, | |
| From his tenant’s vital blood. | |
| Lastly, let his gifts be tried, | |
| Borrowed from the mason-side. | |
| Some, perhaps, may think him able | 45 |
| In the state to build a Babel; | |
| Could we place him in a station | |
| To destroy the old foundation. | |
| True, indeed, I should be gladder | |
| Could he learn to mount a ladder. | 50 |
| May he at his latter end | |
| Mount alive, and dead descend. | |
| In him tell me, which prevail, | |
| Female vices most, or male? | |
| What produced them, can you tell? | 55 |
| Human race, or imp of Hell? | |
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