A YOUNG man lately wedded was | |
| To a fair and comely creature, | |
| She was a blithe and bonny Lass | |
| As ere was framed by Nature, | |
| With rolling eye, | 5 |
| And forehead high, | |
| And all good parts Nature could give her; | |
| But she had learnèd such a note, | |
| She could not keep her legs together. | |
| |
| A lusty youth, of Cupid’s strain, | 10 |
| That might the Queen of Love contented, | |
| Came unto her, her love to gain, | |
| And freely she her love consented: | |
| But, to be short, | |
| In Cupid’s Court | 15 |
| He used her well when he came thither, | |
| And played his part in such an art, | |
| She could not, &c. | |
| |
| When her husband he heard tell | |
| Of her tricks, with true relation, | 20 |
| He complainèd to himself | |
| Very sadly in this fashion: | |
| Quoth he, “I would give twenty pound, | |
| [And] that’s ten more than I had with her, | |
| Her mother would take her home again, | 25 |
| And make her keep her,” &c. | |
| |
| “Son, be thou of patient mind, | |
| Let not thoughts thy fancies trouble; | |
| For I to thee will still prove kind, | |
| And her portion I will double,— | 30 |
| Time and age | |
| Will assuage, | |
| And the fairest flower will wither, | |
| And I such counsel will her give | |
| Shall make her keep her legs together.” | 35 |
| |
| Henceforth, therefore, I’ll forsake her, | |
| And her mother [she] shall take her; | |
| And, for shame! let her better make her, | |
| Or I again will never take her. | |
| Pure modesty she doth defy, | 40 |
| (Besides, she’s fickle as the weather), | |
| And her scolding plainly shows | |
| She cannot keep her legs together. | |
| |
| Then I’ll leave off to find another, | |
| Though’t may add unto my lustre, | 45 |
| For brave spacious England wide | |
| I am sure affords a cluster; | |
| Good and bad | |
| Are to be had; | |
| Jove speed me well! though long I tarry, | 50 |
| For, ere that I’ll have such a Mate | |
| I never more intend to marry. | |
| |
THE SECOND PART SHE is gone a wand’ring forth | |
| (Wanton wenches will be ranging) | |
| With two gallants of great worth: | 55 |
| Such as they affect a changing. | |
| She is bent | |
| To consent | |
| For to go she knows not whether: | |
| They will teach her such a trick | 60 |
| She will not keep her legs together. | |
| |
| To the Dancing-school she goes, | |
| (There she spends her husband’s treasure), | |
| On each Shoe she wears a Rose, | |
| For to show she’s fit for pleasure; | 65 |
| And resort | |
| To Cupid’s Court, | |
| And no sooner she comes thither, | |
| She learns so much of that same sport, | |
| She cannot keep her legs together. | 70 |
| |
| To the Tavern she repairs, | |
| Whilst her husband sits and muses, | |
| There she domineers and swears, | |
| (’Tis a thing she often uses!), | |
| And, being fine, | 75 |
| She, for wine, | |
| Will both pawn her hat and feather; | |
| Which doth show that it is true | |
| She cannot keep her legs together. | |
| |
| He’s a Coxcomb that doth grieve | 80 |
| And knows not how to court this creature, | |
| For he may pin her to his sleeve, | |
| She is of so kind a nature: | |
| She will play | |
| Every way, | 85 |
| And is as nimble as a feather, | |
| But she will often go astray, | |
| She cannot keep her legs together. | |
| |
| Thou that hast a wife that’s civil, | |
| Love her well and make much of her; | 90 |
| For a woman that is evil | |
| All the town, thou seest, will scoff her. | |
| Love thy wife | |
| As thy life, | |
| Let her not go thou know’st not whither; | 95 |
| For you will always live in strife | |
| If she keep not her legs together. | |
| |
| Maidens fair, have a care | |
| Whom you love and whom you marry; | |
| Love not those that jealous are, | 100 |
| Longer you had better tarry; | |
| For offence | |
| Springs from hence— | |
| You will go you know not whether, | |
| Till you lose both wit and sense, | 105 |
| And cannot keep your legs together. | |
| |
