A COUNTRY gentleman came up to town | |
| To taste the delights of the city, | |
| Who had for his servant a jocular clown, | |
| Accounted to be very witty: | |
| His master one night got drunk as a rat, | 5 |
| And swore he would turn him away, sir, | |
| Unless he would get him a bit for his cat | |
| And into his chamber convey her. | |
| |
| Some jolly dame he was willing to have, | |
| And gave to his Bumpkin a guinea, | 10 |
| Who had the wit not to give it, but save | |
| The far better part of the money: | |
| To find out a punck, he walked in the street, | |
| And backwards and forwards kept trudging; | |
| At last a young beggar-wench he did meet, | 15 |
| Who was in great want of a lodging. | |
| |
| “Sweetheart,” said he, “if thou’lt give thy consent | |
| To go home, and lie with my master, | |
| I’ll give thee half a crown for thy content, | |
| And save thee from any disaster.” | 20 |
| It being late, she was fearing the watch, | |
| Besides it was very cold weather, | |
| So that they quickly both made up the match, | |
| And trudged to his master together. | |
| |
| Bumpkin was arch, as he homewards did come, | 25 |
| He gave her a bout by the way, sir; | |
| Then to his master he carried her home, | |
| Who in a dark chamber lay, sir: | |
| He bid her be sure let his master not know, | |
| By any means, she was a mumper; | 30 |
| But bid her to rise before daylight, and go, | |
| Or, Adswounds! He would heartily thump her. | |
| |
| Bumpkin his Trull to the chamber he led, | |
| And then to his bed took his way, sir; | |
| She quickly undressed and groped into the bed | 35 |
| And close to the gentleman lay, sir; | |
| Eager of joy, he gave her a kiss, | |
| And hugged her with flaming desire; | |
| The gentleman swore that she smelt so of cheese, | |
| He could not endure to lie by her. | 40 |
| |
| He bid her get up to a place in the room | |
| Where a bottle stood of a rose-water, | |
| And wash her face to take away the fume, | |
| Then come into bed again after. | |
| A bottle of ink there happened to stand, | 45 |
| And for the Rosewater she took it, | |
| Pouring a spoonful out in her hand | |
| And over her face did she stroke it. | |
| |
| Then to their joys they eagerly fell, | |
| Till at last it began to be light, sir; | 50 |
| Then, looking, he thought her the devil of hell, | |
| And ran out of bed in a fright, sir, | |
| Crying, “The devil, the devil was there;” | |
| She, being affrighted, ran after, | |
| In a tattered old smock, crying, “where is he, where?” | 55 |
| Which put the whole street in a laughter. | |
| |
