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(From Pills to Purge Melancholy, c. 1707)
NEAR to the Town of Windsor, upon a pleasant Green, | |
| There lived a Miller’s Daughter, her Age about Eighteen. | |
| A Skin as White as Alabaster, and a killing Eye, | |
| A round Plump bonny Buttock joined to a taper Thigh; | |
| Then ah! be kind, my Dear, be kinder, was the Ditty still, | 5 |
| When pretty Kate of Windsor came to the Mill. | |
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| To treat with her in Private, first came a Booby Squire, | |
| He offered ten Broad Pieces, but she refused the hire; | |
| She said his Corn was musty, nor should her Toll-dish fill, | |
His Measure too so scanty, she feared ’twould burn her Mill.
Then ah! be kind, etc. | 10 |
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| Soon after came a Lawyer, as he the Circuit went, | |
| He swore he’d Cheat her Landlord, and she should pay no Rent; | |
| He questioned the Fee simple; but him she plainly told, | |
I’ll keep in spight of Law Tricks, mine own dear Copyhold.
Then ah! be kind, etc. | |
| |
| The next came on a Trooper, that did of Fighting prate, | 15 |
| Till she pulled out his Pistol, and knocked him o’er the Pate. | |
| I hate, she cried, a Hector, a Drone without a Sting, | |
For if you must be Fighting Friend, go do it for the King.
Then ah! be kind, etc. | |
| |
| A late discarded Courtier, would next her favour win, | |
| He offered her a Thousand when e’er King James came in; | 20 |
| She laughed at that extremely, and said it was too small, | |
For if he e’er comes in again, you’ll get the Devil and all.
Then ah! be kind, etc. | |
| |
| Next came a strutting Sailor that was of Mate’s degree, | |
| He bragged much of his Valour in the late Fight at Sea; | |
| She told him his Bravados but lamely did appear, | 25 |
For if you had stood to’t, you Rogues, the French had ne’er came here.
Then ah! be kind, etc. | |
| |
| A Shopkeeper of London then opened his Love Case, | |
| He told her he was Famous for Penning an Address; | |
| She told City-wisdom was known by their Affairs, | |
Guild-Hall was full of Wit too in choice of Sheriffs and Mayors.
Then ah! be kind, etc. | 30 |
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| Next came a smug Physician upon a Pacing Mare, | |
| But she declared she liked him much worse than any there; | |
| He was so used to Glisters, she told him to his Face, | |
He always would be bobbing his Pipe at the wrong place.
Then ah! be kind, etc. | |
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| Next came an honest Tailor, if such a one can be, | 35 |
| And as he went to proffer to pull her on his knee, | |
| She said, Kind Sir be Civil; and do not thus presume | |
You smell so strong of Cucumbers, I can’t endure the room.
Then ah! be kind, etc. | |
| |
| The Parson of the Town then did next his flame reveal, | |
| She made him second Mourning, and covered him with Meal; | 40 |
| The Man of God stood fretting, she bid him not be vext, | |
’Twill serve you for a Surplice to Cant in Sunday next.
Then ah! be kind, etc. | |
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| Now if you’d know the reason she was to them unkind, | |
| There was a brisk young Farmer that taught her still to grind; | |
| She knew him for a Workman that had the ready skill, | 45 |
| To open well her Water-gate, and best supply her Mill. | |
| Then ah! be kind, my Dear, be kinder, was the Ditty still, | |
| When pretty Kate of Windsor came to the Mill. | |
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