THERE was a Knight was drunk with Wine, | |
| a riding along the way, Sir, | |
| And there he did meet with a Lady fine, | |
| and among the Cocks of Hay, Sir. | |
| |
| One Favour he did crave of her, | 5 |
| and ask’d to lay her down, Sir, | |
| But he had neither Cloth nor Sheet, | |
| to keep her from the Ground, Sir. | |
| |
| There is a great Dew upon the Grass, | |
| and if you should lay me down, Sir, | 10 |
| You would spoil my gay clothing, | |
| that has cost me many a Pound, Sir. | |
| |
| I have a Cloak of Scarlet red, | |
| I’ll lay it under thee, Love, | |
| So you will grant me my request, | 15 |
| that I shall ask of you, Love. | |
| |
| And if you’ll go to my Father’s Hall, | |
| that is moated all round about, Sir, | |
| There you shall have your Will of me, | |
| within, Sir, and without, Sir. | 20 |
| |
| Oh, yonder stands my Milk-white Steed, | |
| and among the Cocks of Hay, Sir, | |
| If the King’s Pinner should chance to come, | |
| he’ll take my Steed away, Sir. | |
| |
| I have a Ring upon my Finger, | 25 |
| it’s made of the finest Gold, Love, | |
| And it shall serve to fetch your Steed, | |
| out of the Pinner’s Fold, Love. | |
| |
| And if you’ll go to my Father’s House, | |
| round which there’s many a Tree, Sir, | 30 |
| There you shall have your Chamber free, | |
| and your Chamberlain I’ll be, Sir. | |
| |
| He sat her on a Milk-white Steed, | |
| himself upon another; | |
| And then they rid along the way, | 35 |
| like Sister and like Brother. | |
| |
| But when she came to her Father’s House, | |
| which was moated all round about, Sir, | |
| She slipped herself within the Gate, | |
| and she locked the Knight without, Sir. | 40 |
| |
| I thank you, kind Knight, for seeing me here, | |
| and bringing me home a Maiden, Sir, | |
| But you shall have two of my Father’s Men, | |
| for to get you as far back again, Sir. | |
| |
| He drew his Sword out of his Scabbard, | 45 |
| and whet it upon his Sleeve, Sir, | |
| Saying, Cursed be to ev’ry Man, | |
| that will a Maid believe, Sir. | |
| |
| She drew her Handkerchief out of her Pocket, | |
| and threw it upon the Ground, Sir, | 50 |
| Saying, thrice cursed be to ev’ry Maid, | |
| that will believe a Man, Sir. | |
| |
| We have a Tree in our Garden, | |
| some call it of Rosemary, Sir; | |
| There’s Crowing-cocks in our Town, | 55 |
| that will make a Capon of you, Sir. | |
| |
| We have a Flower in our Garden, | |
| some call it a Marygold, Sir; | |
| And he that would not when he might, | |
| he shall not when he would, Sir. | 60 |
| |
| But if you chance for to meet a Maid, | |
| a little below the Town, Sir, | |
| You must not fear her gay clothing, | |
| nor the wrinkling of her Gown, Sir. | |
| |
| And if you chance for to meet a Maid, | 65 |
| a little below the Hill, Sir, | |
| You need not fear her shrieking out, | |
| for she quickly will lie still, Sir. | |
| |
| The baffled Knight was by the Lass | |
| ingeniously out-witted; | 70 |
| And since that time, it came to pass, | |
| he was again well fitted: | |
| |
| As he was riding cross a Plain, | |
| in Boots, Spurs, Hat and Feather, | |
| He met that Lady fair again, | 75 |
| they talk’d a while together. | |
| |
| He said, tho’ you did serve me so, | |
| and cunningly decoy me; | |
| Yet now, before you further go, | |
| I must and will enjoy thee. | 80 |
| |
| ’Twas near a spacious River’s side, | |
| where Rushes green were growing, | |
| And Neptune’s silver Streams did glide, | |
| four Fathom Waters flowing. | |
| |
| The Lady blush’d like Scarlet-red, | 85 |
| and trembled at this Stranger; | |
| How shall I guard my Maiden-head | |
| from this approaching danger? | |
| |
| With a lamenting sigh, said she, | |
| to die I now am ready: | 90 |
| Must this dishonour fall on me? | |
| a most unhappy Lady! | |
| |
| He from his Saddle did a-light | |
| in gaudy rich attire; | |
| And cried, I am a Noble Knight, | 95 |
| who do your Charms admire. | |
| |
| He took the Lady by the Hand, | |
| who seemingly consented; | |
| And would no more disputing stand, | |
| she had a Plot invented. | 100 |
| |
| How she might baffle him again, | |
| with much Delight and Pleasure; | |
| And eke unspotted still remain | |
| with her pure Virgin Treasure. | |
| |
| Look yonder, good Sir Knight, I pray, | 105 |
| methinks I do discover, | |
| Well mounted on a Dapple-grey, | |
| my true entire Lover. | |
| |
| The Knight, he standing on the brink | |
| of the deep floating River; | 110 |
| Thought she, thou now shalt swim or sink, | |
| choose which thou fancy rather. | |
| |
| Against his back the Lady run, | |
| the Waters straight he sounded: | |
| He cried out, Love! What have you done! | 115 |
| help! help, or I am drowned! | |
| |
| Said she, Sir Knight, farewell, adieu, | |
| you see what comes of fooling: | |
| That is the fittest place for you, | |
| whose Courage wanted cooling. | 120 |
| |
| Love, help me out, and I’ll forgive | |
| this Fault which you’ve committed: | |
| No, no, says she, Sir, as I live, | |
| I think you’re finely fitted. | |
| |
| She rid home to her Father’s House | 125 |
| for speedy expedition; | |
| While the gay Knight was soaked like Souce, | |
| in a sad wet condition. | |
| |
| When he came mounted to the Plain, | |
| he was in rich attire: | 130 |
| Yet when he back returned again, | |
| he was all Muck and Mire. | |
| |
| A solemn Vow he there did make, | |
| just as he came from swimming, | |
| He’d love no Lady, for her sake, | 135 |
| nor any other Women. | |
| |
| The Baffled Knight was fooled once more, | |
| you’ll find by this pleasant ditty, | |
| For she whose Charms he did adore | |
| was wonderful sharp and witty. | 140 |
| |
| Returning from her Father’s Park, | |
| just close by a Summer Bower, | |
| She chanced to meet her angry Spark | |
| Who gave her a frowning lower. | |
| |
| The thoughts of what she twice had done, | 145 |
| did cause him to draw his Rapier, | |
| And at the Lady then he run, | |
| and thus he began to vapour: | |
| |
| You chous’d me at your Father’s Gate, | |
| then tumbled me into the River, | 150 |
| I seek for satisfaction, straight; | |
| Shall I be a Fool for ever? | |
| |
| He came with Resolution bent | |
| that Evening to enjoy her; | |
| And if she did not give consent, | 155 |
| that Minute he would destroy her. | |
| |
| I pray Sir Knight, and why so hot | |
| against a young silly Woman? | |
| Such Crimes as these might be forgot, | |
| for merry intrigues are common. | 160 |
| |
| What! do you count it Mirth, he cried, | |
| to tumble me in and leave me? | |
| What if I drowned there had died? | |
| a dangerous Jest, believe me. | |
| |
| Well, if I pardon you this Day | 165 |
| those Injuries out of measure, | |
| It is because without delay | |
| I mean to enjoy the Pleasure. | |
| |
| Your suit, she said, is not denied, | |
| but think of your Boots of Leather; | 170 |
| And let me pull them off, she cried, | |
| before we lie down together. | |
| |
| He set him down upon the Grass, | |
| and Violets so sweet and tender; | |
| Now by this means it came to pass, | 175 |
| that she did his purpose hinder. | |
| |
| For having pulled his Boots half way, | |
| she cried, I am now your betters; | |
| You shall not make of me your Prey, | |
| sit there like a Thief in Fetters. | 180 |
| |
| Now finding she had served him so, | |
| he rose and began to grumble; | |
| Yet he could neither stand nor go, | |
| but did like a Cripple tumble. | |
| |
| The Boots stuck fast, and would not stir, | 185 |
| his folly she soon did mention, | |
| And laughing said, I pray kind Sir, | |
| How like you my new Invention! | |
| |
| My laughing Fit you must excuse, | |
| you are but a stingless Nettle; | 190 |
| You’d ne’er a stood for Boots or Shoes, | |
| had you been a Man of Mettle. | |
| |
| Farewell, Sir Knight, ’tis almost Ten, | |
| I fear neither Wind nor Weather: | |
| I’ll send my Father’s Serving-Men, | 195 |
| to pull off your Boots of Leather. | |
| |
| She laughed out-right, as well she might, | |
| with merry conceits of Scorning, | |
| And left him there to sit all Night, | |
| until the approaching Morning. | 200 |
| |
| The fourth Part of the baffled Knight, | |
| the Lady hath fairly acted, | |
| She did his Love and Kindness slight, | |
| which made him almost distracted. | |
| |
| She left him in her Father’s Park, | 205 |
| where nothing but Deer could hear him; | |
| While he lay rouling in the dark, | |
| there’s never a Soul came near him; | |
| |
| Until the Morning break of Day, | |
| and being warm Summer-weather, | 210 |
| A Shepherd chanced to come that way, | |
| who pulled on his Boots of Leather. | |
| |
| Then mounting on his Milk-white Steed, | |
| he shaking his Ears was ready, | |
| And whip and spur he rid with speed | 215 |
| to find out this crafty Lady. | |
| |
| If once this Lady I come nigh | |
| she shall be released by no Man; | |
| Why should so brave a Knight as I, | |
| be fooled by a silly Woman? | 220 |
| |
| Three times she has affronted me, | |
| in Crimes which I cannot Pardon; | |
| But if I an’t reveng’d, said he, | |
| let me not be worth a farthing. | |
| |
| I value not her Beauty fair, | 225 |
| tho’ once I did dote upon her; | |
| This trusty Sword shall now repair | |
| My baffled, blasted Honour. | |
| |
| Unto her Father’s House he came, | |
| which every side was moated; | 230 |
| The fair sweet youthful charming Dame, | |
| his angry brows she noted. | |
| |
| Thought she, I’ll have the other bout, | |
| and tumble him in the River, | |
| And let the Devil help him out, | 235 |
| or there he shall soak for ever. | |
| |
| He will not let me live at rest, | |
| although I have often foiled him; | |
| Therefore, once more I do protest, | |
| with flattering I’ll beguile him; | 240 |
| |
| The Bridge was drawn, the Gates locked fast, | |
| so that he could no ways enter; | |
| She smiled to him, and cried at last, | |
| Sir Knight, if you please to venture, | |
| |
| A Plank lies over the Moat hard by, | 245 |
| full Seventeen Foot in Measure, | |
| There’s no body now at home but I, | |
| therefore we’ll take our pleasure. | |
| |
| This Word she had no sooner spoke, | |
| but straight he was tripping over; | 250 |
| The Plank was sawed, and snapping broke; | |
| he prov’d an unhappy Lover. | |
| |
