Verse > Anthologies > The World’s Best Poetry > Vol. IX. Tragedy: Humor
Bliss Carman, et al., eds.  The World’s Best Poetry.
Volume IX. Tragedy: Humor.  1904.
Humorous Poems: II. Miscellaneous
He ’d Had No Show
Sam Walter Foss (1858–1911)
  JOE BEALL ’ud set upon a keg
  Down to the groc’ry store, an’ throw
One leg right over t’other leg
  An’ swear he ’d never had no show.
      “O, no,” said Joe,        5
      “Hain’t hed no show,”
Then shift his quid to t’other jaw,
An’ chaw, an’ chaw, an’ chaw, an’ chaw.
He said he got no start in life,
  Didn’t get no money from his dad,        10
The washin’ took in by his wife
  Earned all the funds he ever had.
      “O, no,” said Joe,
      “Hain’t hed no show,”
An’ then he ’d look up at the clock        15
An’ talk, an’ talk, an’ talk, an’ talk.
“I ’ve waited twenty year—let ’s see—
  Yes, twenty-four, an’ never struck,
Altho, I ’ve sot roun’ patiently,
  The fust tarnation streak er luck.        20
      O, no,” said Joe,
      “Hain’t hed no show,”
Then stuck like mucilage to the spot,
An’ sot, an’ sot, an’ sot, an’ sot.
“I ’ve come down regerlar every day        25
  For twenty years to Piper’s store.
I ’ve sot here in a patient way,
  Say, hain’t I, Piper?” Piper swore.
      “I tell ye, Joe,
      Yer hain’t no show;        30
Yer too dern patient”—ther hull raft
Jest laffed, an’ laffed, an’ laffed, an’ laffed.

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