Verse > Anthologies > The World’s Best Poetry > Vol. IX. Tragedy: Humor
Bliss Carman, et al., eds.  The World’s Best Poetry.
Volume IX. Tragedy: Humor.  1904.
Humorous Poems: II. Miscellaneous
Dow’s Flat
Bret Harte (1836–1902)

        DOW’S FLAT. That ’s its name.
          And I reckon that you
        Are a stranger? The same?
          Well, I thought it was true,
For thar isn’t a man on the river as can’t spot the place at first view.        5
        It was called after Dow,—
          Which the same was an ass;
        And as to the how
          Thet the thing kem to pass,—
Just tie up your hoss to that buckeye, and sit ye down here in the grass.        10
        You see this yer Dow
          Hed the worst kind of luck;
        He slipped up somehow
          On each thing thet he struck.
Why, ef he ’d straddled thet fence-rail the derned thing ’ed get up and buck.        15
        He mined on the bar
          Till he couldn’t pay rates;
        He was smashed by a car
          When he tunnelled with Bates;
And right on top of his trouble kem his wife and five kids from the States.        20
        It was rough,—mighty rough;
          But the boys they stood by,
        And they brought him the stuff
          For a house, on the sly;
And the old woman,—well, she did washing, and took on when no one was nigh.        25
        But this yer luck of Dow’s
          Was so powerful mean
        That the spring near his house
          Dried right up on the green;
And he sunk forty feet down for water, but nary a drop to be seen.        30
        Then the bar petered out,
          And the boys wouldn’t stay;
        And the chills got about,
          And his wife fell away;
But Dow, in his well, kept a peggin’ in his usual ridikilous way.        35
        One day,—it was June,—
          And a year ago, jest,—
        This Dow kem at noon
          To his work like the rest,
With a shovel and pick on his shoulder, and a derringer hid in his breast.        40
        He goes to the well,
          And he stands on the brink,
        And stops for a spell
          Jest to listen and think:
For the sun in his eyes, (jest like this, sir!) you see, kinder made the cuss blink.        45
        His two ragged gals
          In the gulch were at play,
        And a gownd that was Sal’s
          Kinder flapped on a bay:
Not much for a man to be leavin’, but his all,—as I ’ve heer’d the folks say.        50
        And—that ’s a peart hoss
          Thet you ’ve got—ain’t it now?
        What might be her cost?
          Eh? Oh!—Well then, Dow—
Let ’s see,—well, that forty-foot grave wasn’t his, sir, that day, anyhow.        55
        For a blow of his pick
          Sorter caved in the side,
        And he looked and turned sick,
          Then he trembled and cried.
For you see the dern cuss had struck—“Water?”—beg your parding, young man, there you lied!        60
        It was gold,—in the quartz,
          And it ran all alike;
        And I reckon five oughts
          Was the worth of that strike;
And that house with coopilow ’s his’n,—which the same isn’t bad for a Pike.        65
        Thet ’s why it ’s Dow’s Flat;
          And the thing of it is
        That he kinder got that
          Through sheer contrairiness:
For ’t was water the derned cuss was seekin’, and his luck made him certain to miss.        70
        Thet ’s so. Thar ’s your way
          To the left of yon tree;
        But—a—look h’yur, say,
          Won’t you come up to tea?
No? Well, then the next time you ’re passin’; and ask after Dow,—and thet ’s me.        75

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