Verse > Anthologies > The World’s Best Poetry > Vol. IX. Tragedy: Humor
Bliss Carman, et al., eds.  The World’s Best Poetry.
Volume IX. Tragedy: Humor.  1904.
Humorous Poems: II. Miscellaneous
Irwin Russell (1853–1879)
YOU, Nebuchadnezzar, whoa, sah!
Whar is you tryin’ to go, sah?
I ’d hab you fur to know, sah,
I ’s a-holdin’ ob de lines.
You better stop dat prancin’,        5
You ’s paw’ful fond ob dancin’,
But I ’ll bet my yeah’s advancin’
Dat I ’ll cure you ob yo’ shines.
Look heah, mule! Better min’ out;
Fus’ t’ing you know you ’ll fin’ out        10
How quick I ’ll wear dis line out
On your ugly, stubbo’n back.
You needn’t try to steal up;
An’ lif dat precious heel up;
You ’s got to plough dis fiel’ up,        15
You has, sah, fur a fac’.
Dar, dat ’s de way to do it;
He ’s comin’ right down to it;
Jes watch him ploughin’ troo it!
Dis nigger ain’t no fool.        20
Some folks dey would ’a’ beat him;
Now, dat would only heat him—
I know just how to treat him:
You mus’ reason wid a mule.
He minds me like a nigger.        25
If he wuz only bigger
He ’d fotch a mighty figger,
He would, I tell you! Yes, sah!
See how he keeps a-clickin’!
He ’s as gentle as a chicken,        30
And nebber thinks o’ kickin’—
Whoa dar! Nebuchadnezzah!
Is this heah me, or not me?
Or is de debbil got me?
Wuz dat a cannon shot me?        35
Hab I laid heah more ’n a week?
Dat mule do kick amazin’!
De beast was sp’iled in raisin’;
But now I spect he ’s grazin’
On de oder side de creek.        40

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