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From “Percy’s Reliques”
AN ANCIENT story I ’ll tell you anon | |
| Of a notable prince that was called King John; | |
| And he ruled England with main and with might, | |
| For he did great wrong, and maintained little right. | |
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| And I ’ll tell you a story, a story so merry, | 5 |
| Concerning the Abbot of Canterbury; | |
| How for his house-keeping and high renowne, | |
| They rode poste for him to fair London towne. | |
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| An hundred men the king did heare say, | |
| The abbot kept in his house every day; | 10 |
| And fifty golde chaynes without any doubt, | |
| In velvet coates waited the abbot about. | |
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| “How now, father abbot, I hear it of thee, | |
| Thou keepest a farre better house than mee; | |
| And for thy house-keeping and high renowne, | 15 |
| I feare thou work’st treason against my crowne.” | |
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| “My liege,” quo’ the abbot, “I would it were knowne | |
| I never spend nothing, but what is my owne; | |
| And I trust your grace will doe me no deere, | |
| For spending of my owne true-gotten geere.” | 20 |
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| “Yes, yes, father abbot, thy fault it is highe, | |
| And now for the same thou needest must dye; | |
| For except thou canst answer me questions three, | |
| Thy head shall be smitten from thy bodie. | |
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| “And first,” quo’ the king, “when I ’m in this stead, | 25 |
| With my crowne of golde so faire on my head, | |
| Among all my liege-men so noble of birthe, | |
| Thou must tell me to one penny what I am worthe. | |
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| “Secondly, tell me, without any doubt, | |
| How soone I may ride the whole world about; | 30 |
| And at the third question thou must not shrink, | |
| But tell me here truly what I do think.” | |
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| “O these are hard questions for my shallow witt, | |
| Nor I cannot answer your grace as yet: | |
| But if you will give me but three weeks’ space, | 35 |
| Ile do my endeavor to answer your grace.” | |
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| “Now three weeks’ space to thee will I give, | |
| And that is the longest time thou hast to live; | |
| For if thou dost not answer my questions three, | |
| Thy lands and the livings are forfeit to mee.” | 40 |
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| Away rode the abbot all sad at that word, | |
| And he rode to Cambridge, and Oxenford; | |
| But never a doctor there was so wise, | |
| That could with his learning an answer devise. | |
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| Then home rode the abbot of comfort so cold, | 45 |
| And he met his shepheard a-going to fold: | |
| “How now, my lord abbot, you are welcome home; | |
| What news do you bring us from good King John?” | |
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| “Sad news, sad news, shepheard, I must give, | |
| That I have but three days more to live; | 50 |
| For if I do not answer him questions three, | |
| My head will be smitten from my bodie. | |
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| “The first is to tell him, there in that stead, | |
| With his crowne of golde so fair on his head, | |
| Among all his liege-men so noble of birth, | 55 |
| To within one penny of what he is worth. | |
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| “The seconde, to tell him without any doubt, | |
| How soone he may ride this whole world about; | |
| And at the third question I must not shrinke, | |
| But tell him there truly what he does thinke.” | 60 |
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| “Now cheare up, sire abbot, did you never hear yet, | |
| That a fool he may learne a wise man witt? | |
| Lend me horse, and serving-men, and your apparel, | |
| And Ile ride to London to answere youre quarrel. | |
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| “Nay, frowne not, if it hath bin told unto me, | 65 |
| I am like your lordship, as ever may be; | |
| And if you will but lend me your gowne, | |
| There is none shall know us at fair London towne.” | |
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| “Now horses and serving-men thou shalt have, | |
| With sumptuous array most gallant and brave, | 70 |
| With crozier, and mitre, and rochet, and cope, | |
| Fit to appear ’fore our fader the pope.” | |
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| “Now welcome, sire abbot,” the king he did say, | |
| “’T is well thou ’rt come back to keepe thy day: | |
| For and if thou canst answer my questions three, | 75 |
| Thy life and thy living both savèd shall be. | |
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| “And first, when thou seest me here in this stead, | |
| With my crowne of golde so fair on my head, | |
| Among all my liege-men so noble of birthe, | |
| Tell me to one penny what I am worthe.” | 80 |
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| “For thirty pence our Saviour was sold | |
| Among the false Jews, as I have bin told, | |
| And twenty-nine is the worth of thee, | |
| For I thinke thou art one penny worser than he.” | |
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| The king he laughed, and swore by Saint Bittel, | 85 |
| “I did not think I had been worth so littel! | |
| —Now secondly tell me, without any doubt, | |
| How soone I may ride this whole world about.” | |
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| “You must rise with the sun, and ride with the same | |
| Until the next morning he riseth againe; | 90 |
| And then your grace need not make any doubt | |
| But in twenty-four hours you ’ll ride it about.” | |
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| The king he laughed, and swore by Saint Jone, | |
| “I did not think it could be gone so soone! | |
| —Now from the third question thou must not shrinke, | 95 |
| But tell me here truly what I do thinke.” | |
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| “Yea, that shall I do, and make your grace merry; | |
| You thinke I ’m the Abbot of Canterbury; | |
| But I ’m his poor shepheard, as plain you may see, | |
| That am come to beg pardon for him and for me.” | 100 |
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| The king he laughed, and swore by the Masse, | |
| “Ile make thee lord abbot this day in his place!” | |
| “Now naye, my liege, be not in such speede, | |
| For alacke I can neither write ne reade.” | |
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| “Four nobles a week then I will give thee, | 105 |
| For this merry jest thou hast showne unto me; | |
| And tell the old abbot when thou comest home, | |
| Thou hast brought him a pardon from good King John.” | |
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