Bliss Carman, et al., eds. The World’s Best Poetry.
Volume IX. Tragedy: Humor. 1904. | | | | Humorous Poems: II. Miscellaneous | | Orator Puff | | Thomas Moore (1779–1852) |
| | | MR. ORATOR PUFF had two tones in his voice, | |
| The one squeaking thus, and the other down so; | |
| In each sentence he uttered he gave you your choice, | |
| For one half was B alt, and the rest G below. | |
| O! O! Orator Puff, | 5 |
| One voice for an orator ’s surely enough. | |
| |
| But he still talked away, spite of coughs and of frowns, | |
| So distracting all ears with his ups and his downs, | |
| That a wag once, on hearing the orator say, | |
“My voice is for war!” asked, “Which of them, pray?”
O! O! Orator Puff, etc. | 10 |
| |
| Reeling homeward one evening, top-heavy with gin, | |
| And rehearsing his speech on the weight of the crown, | |
| He tripped near a saw-pit, and tumbled right in, | |
“Sinking fund” the last words as his noddle came down.
O! O! Orator Puff, etc. | |
| |
| “Good Lord!” he exclaimed, in his he-and-she tones, | 15 |
| “HELP ME OUT! Help me out! I have broken my bones!” | |
| “Help you out?” said a Paddy who passed, “what a bother! | |
| Why, there ’s two of you there—can’t you help one another?” | |
| O! O! Orator Puff, | |
| One voice for an orator ’s surely enough. | 20 | | | |
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