Verse > Anthologies > The World’s Best Poetry > Vol. IX. Tragedy: Humor
Bliss Carman, et al., eds.  The World’s Best Poetry.
Volume IX. Tragedy: Humor.  1904.
Humorous Poems: II. Miscellaneous
Orator Puff
Thomas Moore (1779–1852)
MR. ORATOR PUFF had two tones in his voice,
  The one squeaking thus, and the other down so;
In each sentence he uttered he gave you your choice,
  For one half was B alt, and the rest G below.
    O! O! Orator Puff,        5
    One voice for an orator ’s surely enough.
But he still talked away, spite of coughs and of frowns,
  So distracting all ears with his ups and his downs,
That a wag once, on hearing the orator say,
  “My voice is for war!” asked, “Which of them, pray?”
  O! O! Orator Puff, etc.
Reeling homeward one evening, top-heavy with gin,
  And rehearsing his speech on the weight of the crown,
He tripped near a saw-pit, and tumbled right in,
  “Sinking fund” the last words as his noddle came down.
  O! O! Orator Puff, etc.
“Good Lord!” he exclaimed, in his he-and-she tones,        15
  “HELP ME OUT! Help me out! I have broken my bones!”
“Help you out?” said a Paddy who passed, “what a bother!
Why, there ’s two of you there—can’t you help one another?”
  O! O! Orator Puff,
  One voice for an orator ’s surely enough.        20
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