SAID England unto Pharaoh, “I must make a man of you, | |
| That will stand upon his feet and play the game; | |
| That will Maxim his oppressor as a Christian ought to do,” | |
| And she sent old Pharaoh Sergeant Whatisname. | |
| It was not a Duke nor Earl, nor yet a Viscount— | 5 |
| It was not a big brass General that came; | |
| But a man in khaki kit who could handle men a bit, | |
| With his bedding labelled Sergeant Whatisname. | |
| |
| Said England unto Pharaoh, “Though at present singing small, | |
| You shall hum a proper tune before it ends,” | 10 |
| And she introduced old Pharaoh to the Sergeant once for all, | |
| And left ’em in the desert making friends. | |
| It was not a Crystal Palace nor Cathedral; | |
| It was not a public-house of common fame; | |
| But a piece of red-hot sand, with a palm on either hand, | 15 |
| And a little hut for Sergeant Whatisname. | |
| |
| Said England unto Pharaoh, “You’ve had miracles before, | |
| When Aaron struck your rivers into blood; | |
| But if you watch the Sergeant he can show you something more. | |
| He’s a charm for making riflemen from mud.” | 20 |
| It was neither Hindustani, French, nor Coptics; | |
| It was odds and ends and leavings of the same, | |
| Translated by a stick (which is really half the trick), | |
| And Pharaoh harked to Sergeant Whatisname. | |
| |
| (There were years that no one talked of; there were times of horrid doubt— | 25 |
| There was faith and hope and whacking and despair— | |
| While the Sergeant gave the Cautions and he combed old Pharaoh out, | |
| And England didn’t seem to know nor care. | |
| That is England’s awful way o’ doing business— | |
| She would serve her God (or Gordon) just the same— | 30 |
| For she thinks her Empire still is the Strand and Holborn Hill, | |
| And she didn’t think of Sergeant Whatisname.) | |
| |
| Said England to the Sergeant, “You can let my people go!” | |
| (England used ’em cheap and nasty from the start), | |
| And they entered ’em in battle on a most astonished foe— | 35 |
| But the Sergeant he had hardened Pharaoh’s heart | |
| Which was broke, along of all the plagues of Egypt, | |
| Three thousand years before the Sergeant came— | |
| And he mended it again in a little more than ten, | |
| Till Pharaoh fought like Sergeant Whatisname. | 40 |
| |
| It was wicked bad campaigning (cheap and nasty from the first), | |
| There was heat and dust and coolie-work and sun, | |
| There were vipers, flies, and sandstorms, there was cholera and thirst, | |
| But Pharaoh done the best he ever done. | |
| Down the desert, down the railway, down the river, | 45 |
| Like Israelites from bondage so he came, | |
| ’Tween the clouds o’ dust and fire to the land of his desire, | |
| And his Moses, it was Sergeant Whatisname! | |
| |
| We are eating dirt in handfuls for to save our daily bread, | |
| Which we have to buy from those that hate us most, | 50 |
| And we must not raise the money where the Sergeant raised the dead, | |
| And it’s wrong and bad and dangerous to boast. | |
| But he did it on the cheap and on the quiet, | |
| And he’s not allowed to forward any claim— | |
| Though he drilled a black man white, though he made a mummy fight, | 55 |
| He will still continue Sergeant Whatisname— | |
| Private, Corporal, Colour-Sergeant, and Instructor— | |
| But the everlasting miracle’s the same! | |
| |
