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| THIS ’appened in a battle to a batt’ry of the corps | |
| Which is first among the women an’ amazin’ first in war; | |
| An’ what the bloomin’ battle was I don’t remember now, | |
| But Two’s off-lead 1 ’e answered to the name o’ Snarleyow. | |
| Down in the Infantry, nobody cares; | 5 |
| Down in the Cavalry, Colonel ’e swears; | |
| But down in the lead with the wheel at the flog | |
| Turns the bold Bombardier to a little whipped dog! | |
| |
| They was movin’ into action, they was needed very sore, | |
| To learn a little schoolin’ to a native army-corps, | 10 |
| They ’ad nipped against an uphill, they was tuckin’ down the brow, | |
| When a tricky trundlin’ roundshot give the knock to Snarleyow. | |
| |
| They cut ’im loose an’ left ’im—’e was almost tore in two— | |
| But he tried to follow after as a well-trained ’orse should do; | |
| ’E went an’ fouled the limber, an’ the Driver’s Brother squeals: | 15 |
| “Pull up, pull up for Snarleyow—’is head’s between ’is ’eels!” | |
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| The Driver ’umped ’is shoulder, for the wheels was goin’ round, | |
| An’ there ain’t no “Stop, conductor!” when a batt’ry’s changin’ ground; | |
| Sez ’e: “I broke the beggar in, an’ very sad I feels, | |
| “But I could n’t pull up, not for you—your ’ead between your ’eels!” | 20 |
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| ’E ’ad n’t ’ardly spoke the word, before a droppin’ shell | |
| A little right the batt’ry an’ between the sections fell; | |
| An’ when the smoke ’ad cleared away, before the limber-wheels, | |
| There lay the Driver’s Brother with ’is ’ead between ’is ’eels. | |
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| Then sez the Driver’s Brother, an’ ’is words was very plain, | 25 |
| “For Gawd’s own sake get over me, an’ put me out o’ pain.” | |
| They saw ’is wounds was mortial, an’ they judged that it was best, | |
| So they took an’ drove the limber straight across ’is back an’ chest. | |
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| The Driver ’e give nothin’ ’cept a little coughin’ grunt, | |
| But ’e swung ’is ’orses ’andsome when it came to “Action Front!” | 30 |
| An’ if one wheel was juicy, you may lay your Monday head | |
| ’T was juicier for the niggers when the case begun to spread. | |
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| The moril of this story, it is plainly to be seen: | |
| You ’av n’t got no families when servin’ of the Queen— | |
| You ’av n’t got no brothers, fathers, sisters, wives, or sons— | 35 |
| If you want to win your battles take an’ work your bloomin’ guns! | |
| Down in the Infantry, nobody cares; | |
| Down in the Cavalry, Colonel ’e swears; | |
| But down in the lead with the wheel at the flog | |
| Turns the bold Bombardier to a little whipped dog! | 40 |
