Sir Wil. Dressing! What, its but morning here, I warrant, with you in London. We should count it toward afternoon in our parts, down in Shropshire. Why, then, belike my aunt hasnt dined yetha, friend?
Sir Wil. My aunt, siryes, my aunt, sir. Your lady is my aunt, sir. Why, what, dost thou not know me, friend? Why, then, send somebody hither that does. How long hast thou lived with thy lady, fellow, ha?
Mrs. Mar. The gentlemans merry, thats all, sir. (Aside.) Slife, we shall have a quarrel betwixt an horse and an ass, before they find each other out. (Aloud.) You must not take anything amiss from your friends, sir. You are among your friends here, though it may be you dont know it. If I am not mistaken, you are Sir Wilful Witwoud.
Sir Wil. Hm, why, sure, tis not. Yea, byr Lady, but tissheart, I know not whether tis or noyea, but tis, by the wrekin, Brother Anthony! What, Tony, i faith! What, dost thou not know me? Byr Lady, nor I thee, thou art so becravatted and so beperiwigged. Sheart, why dost not speak? Art thou overjoyed?
Sir Wil. Your servant! Why yours, sir? Your servant againsheart, and your friend and servant to thatand aand aflap-dragon for your service, sir! And a hares-foot for your service, sir, an you be so cold and so courtly!
Wit. Why, brother Wilful of Salop, you may be as short as a Shrewsbury cake, if you please. But I tell you, tis not modish to know relations in town; you think youre in the country, where great lubberly brothers slabber and kiss one another when they meet. Tis not the fashion here; tis not, indeed, dear brother.
Sir Wil. The fashions a fool, dear brother, and youre a fop. Sheart, Ive suspected this. Byr Lady, I conjectured you were a fop, since you began to change the style of your letters, and write on a scrap of paper gilt round the edges, no bigger than a subpna. I might expect this when you left off Honoured brother, and Hoping you are in good health, and so forthto begin with a Rat me, knight, Im so sick of a last nights debauchods heart, and then tell me a familiar tale of a cock and a bull and a bottle, and so conclude. You could write news before you were out of your time, when you lived with honest Pimple-Nose, the attorney, at Furnivals inn; you could entreat to be remembered then to your friends. We could have gazettes then, and Dawkss News Letter, and the Weekly Bill, till of late.
Wit. Aye, aye, but that was but for a while; not long, not long. Pshaw! I was not in my own power thenan orphan, and this fellow was my guardian; aye, aye, I was glad to consent to that man, to come to London; he had the disposal of me then. If I had not agreed to that, I might have been bound apprentice to a felt-maker in Shrewsbury; this fellow would have bound me to a maker of felts.
Sir Wil. Serve, or not serve, I shant ask licence of you, sir. Tis like my aunt may have told you, madam; yes, I have settled my concerns, I may say now, and am minded to see foreign parts, if an how that the peace holds, whereby, that is, taxes abate.
Sir Wil. I cant tell that; tis like I may, and tis like I may not. I am somewhat dainty in making a resolution, because when I make it I keep it. I dont stand still; I shall, then; if I sayt, Ill dot; but I have thoughts to tarry a small matter in town, to learn somewhat of your lingo first before I cross the seas. Id gladly have a spice of your French, as they say, whereby to hold discourse in foreign countries.
Sir Wil. Im very well, I thank you, aunt. However, I thank you for your courteous offer. Sheart, I was afraid you would have been in the fashion, too, and have remembered to have forgot your relations. Heres your cousin Tony, belike. I maynt call him brother, for fear of offence.