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| Thomas Dekker (1570–1632). The Shoemaker’s Holiday. The Harvard Classics. 1909–14. |
| Act II |
| Scene III |
EYRE. Where be these boys, these girls, these drabs, these scoundrels? They wallow in the fat brewiss 3 of my bounty, and lick up the crumbs of my table, yet will not rise to see my walks cleansed. Come out, you powder-beef 4 queans! What, Nan! what, Madge Mumble-crust. Come out, you fat midriff-swag-belly-whores, and sweep me these kennels 5 that the noisome stench offend not the noses of my neighbours. What, Firk, I say; what, Hodge! Open my shop-windows! What, Firk, I say! | |||||||||||||
Enter FIRK FIRK. O master, is’t you that speak bandog 6 and Bedlam 7 this morning? I was in a dream, and mused what madman was got into the street so early. Have you drunk this morning that your throat is so clear? | |||||||||||||
| EYRE. Ah, well said, Firk; well said, Firk. To work, my fine knave, to work! Wash thy face, and thou’t be more blest. | |||||||||||||
| FIRK. Let them wash my face that will eat it. Good master, send for a souse-wife, 8 if you’ll have my face cleaner. | 4 | ||||||||||||
Enter HODGE EYRE. Away, sloven! avaunt, scoundrel!—Good-morrow, Hodge; good-morrow, my fine foreman. | |||||||||||||
| HODGE. O master, good-morrow; y’are an early stirrer. Here’s a fair morning.—Good-morrow, Firk, I could have slept this hour. Here’s a brave day towards. 9 | |||||||||||||
| EYRE. Oh, haste to work, my fine foreman, haste to work. | |||||||||||||
| FIRK. Master, I am dry as dust to hear my fellow Roger talk of fair weather; let us pray for good leather, and let clowns and ploughboys and those that work in the fields pray for brave days. We work in a dry shop; what care I if it rain? | 8 | ||||||||||||
Enter MARGERY EYRE. How now, Dame Margery, can you see to rise? Trip and go, call up the drabs, your maids. | |||||||||||||
| MARG. See to rise? I hope ’tis time enough, ’tis early enough for any woman to be seen abroad. I marvel how many wives in Tower Street are up so soon. Gods me, ’tis not noon,—here’s a yawling! 10 | |||||||||||||
| EYRE. Peace, Margery, peace! Where’s Cicely Bumtrinket, your maid? She has a privy fault, she farts in her sleep. Call the quean up; if my men want shoe-thread, I’ll swinge her in a stirrup. | |||||||||||||
| FIRK. Yet, that’s but a dry beating; here’s still a sign of drought. | 12 | ||||||||||||
Enter LACY disguised, singing LACY.
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| FIRK. Master, for my life, yonder’s a brother of the gentle craft; if he bear not Saint Hugh’s bones, 12 I’ll forfeit my bones; he’s some uplandish workman: hire him, good master, that I may learn some gibble-gabble; ’twill; make us work the faster. | |||||||||||||
| EYRE. Peace, Firk! A hard world! Let him pass, let him vanish; we have journeymen enow. Peace, my fine Firk! | |||||||||||||
| MARG. Nay, nay, y’are best follow your man’s counsel; you shall see what will come on’t. We have not me enow, but we must entertain every butter-box; 13 but let that pass. | 16 | ||||||||||||
| HODGE. Dame, ’fore God, if my master follow your counsel, he’ll consume little beef. He shall be glad of men an he can catch them. | |||||||||||||
| FIRK. Ay, that he shall. | |||||||||||||
| HODGE. ’Fore God, a proper man, and I warrant, a fine workman. Master, farewell; dame, adieu; if such a man as he cannot find work, Hodge is not for you. Offers to go. | |||||||||||||
| EYRE. Stay, my fine Hodge. | 20 | ||||||||||||
| FIRK. Faith, an your foreman go, dame, you must take a journey to seek a new journeyman; if Roger remove, Firk follows. If Saint Hugh’s bones shall not be set a-work, I may prick mine awl in the walls, and go play. Fare ye well, master; good-bye, dame. | |||||||||||||
| EYRE. Tarry, my fine Hodge, my brisk foreman! Stay, Firk! Peace, pudding-broth! By the Lord of Ludgate, I love my men as my life. Peace, you gallimaufry! 14 Hodge, if he want work, I’ll hire him. One of you to him; stay,—he comes to us. | |||||||||||||
| LACY. Goeden dach, meester, ende u vro oak. 15 | |||||||||||||
| FIRK. Nails, 16 if I should speak after him without drinking, I should choke. And you, friend Oake, are you of the gentle craft? | 24 | ||||||||||||
| LACY. Yaw, yaw, ik bin den skomawker. 17 | |||||||||||||
| FIRK. Den skomaker, quoth ’a! And hark you, skomaker, have you all your tools, a good rubbing-pin, a good stopper, a good dresser, your four sorts of awls, and your two balls of wax, your paring knife, your hand- and thumb-leathers, and good St. Hugh’s bones to smooth up your work? | |||||||||||||
| LACY. Yaw, yaw; be niet vorveard. Ik hab all de dingen voour mack skooes groot and cleane. 18 | |||||||||||||
| FIRK. Ha, ha! Good master, hire him; he’ll make me laugh so that I shall work more in mirth than I can in earnest. | 28 | ||||||||||||
| EYRE. Hear ye, friend, have ye any skill in the mystery of cordwainers? | |||||||||||||
| LACY. Ik weet niet wat yow seg; ich verstaw you niet. 19 | |||||||||||||
| FIRK. Why, thus, man: [Imitating by gesture a shoemaker at work.] Ich verste u niet, quoth ’a. | |||||||||||||
| LACY. Yaw, yaw, yaw; ick can dat wel doen. 20 | 32 | ||||||||||||
| FIRK. Yaw, yaw! He speaks yawing like a jackdaw that gapes to be fed with cheese-curds. Oh, he’ll give a villanous pull at a can of double-beer; but Hodge and I have the vantage, we must drink first, because we are the eldest journeymen. | |||||||||||||
| EYRE. What is thy name? | |||||||||||||
| LACY. Hans—Hans Meulter. | |||||||||||||
| EYRE. Give me thy hand; th’art welcome.—Hodge, entertain him; Firk, bid him welcome; come, Hans. Run, wife, bid your maids, your trullibubs, 21 make ready my fine men’s breakfasts. To him, Hodge! | 36 | ||||||||||||
| HODGE. Hans, th’art welcome; use thyself friendly, for we are good fellows; if not, thou shalt be fought with, wert thou bigger than a giant. | |||||||||||||
| FIRK. Yea, and drunk with, wert thou Gargantua. My master keeps no cowards, I tell thee.—Ho, boy, bring him an heel-block, here’s a new journeyman. | |||||||||||||
Enter Boy LACY. O, ich wersto you; ich moet een halve dossen cans betaelen; here, boy, nempt dis skilling, tap eens freelicke. 22Exit Boy. | |||||||||||||
| EYRE. Quick, snipper-snapper, away! Firk, scour thy throat; thou shalt wash it with Castilian liquor. | 40 | ||||||||||||
Enter Boy Come, my last of the fives, give me a can. Have to thee, Hans; here, Hodge; here, Firk; drink, you mad Greeks, and work like true Trojans, and pray for Simon Eyre, the shoemaker.—Here, Hans, and th’art welcome. | |||||||||||||
| FIRK. Lo, dame, you would have lost a good fellow that will teach us to laugh. This beer came hopping in well. | |||||||||||||
| MARG. Simon, it is almost seven. | |||||||||||||
| EYRE. Is’t so, Dame Clapper-dudgeon? 23 Is’t seven a clock, and my men’s breakfast not ready? Trip and go, you soused conger, 24 away! Come, you mad hyperboreans; follow me, Hodge; follow me, Hans; come after, my fine Firk; to work, to work a while, and then to breakfast! [Exit. | 44 | ||||||||||||
| FIRK. Soft! Yaw, yaw, good Hans, though my master have no more wit but to call you afore me, I am not so foolish to go behind you, I being the elder journeyman. [Exeunt. |
| Note 1. Before Eyre’s house. [back] | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Note 2. Dressing himself. [back] | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Note 3. Beef broth. [back] | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Note 4. Salted beef. [back] | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Note 5. Gutters. [back] | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Note 6. Watch-dog. [back] | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Note 7. Madman. [back] | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Note 8. A woman who washed and pickled pigs’ faces. [back] | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Note 9. Coming. [back] | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Note 10. Bawling. [back] | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Note 11. The language is, of course, meant for Dutch.
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