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Enter O VERREACH and M ARRALL 1 OVER. Hes gone, I warrant thee; this commission crushd him. | |
| MAR. Your worships have the way ont, and neer miss | |
| To squeeze these unthrifts into air; and yet, | |
| The chapfallen 2 justice did his part, returning | 4 |
| For your advantage the certificate, | |
| Against his conscience, and his knowledge too, | |
| With your good favour, to the utter ruin | |
| Of the poor farmer. | 8 |
| OVER. Twas for these good ends | |
| I made him a justice; he that bribes his belly, | |
| Is certain to command his soul. | |
| MAR. I wonder, | 12 |
| Still with your license, why, your worship having | |
| The power to put this thin-gut in commission, | |
| You are not int yourself? | |
| OVER. Thou art a fool; | 16 |
| In being out of office I am out of danger; | |
| Where, if a were a justice, besides the trouble, | |
| I might or out of wilfulness or error | |
| Run myself finely into a premunire, 3 | 20 |
| And so become a prey to the informer. | |
| No, Ill have none oft; tis enough I keep | |
| Greedy at my devotion; so he serve | |
| My purposes, let him hang or damn, I care not; | 24 |
| Friendship is but a word. | |
| MAR. You are all wisdom. | |
| OVER. I would be worldly wise; for the other wisdom, | |
| That does prescribe us a well governd life, | 28 |
| And to do right to others as ourselves, | |
| I value not an atom. | |
| MAR. What course take you, | |
| With your good patience, to hedge in the manor | 32 |
| Of your neighbour, Master Frugal? as tis said | |
| He will nor sell, nor borrow, nor exchange; | |
| And his land, lying in the midst of your many lordships, | |
| Is a foul blemish. | 36 |
| OVER. I have thought ont, Marrall, | |
| And it shall take. I must have all men sellers, | |
| And I the only purchaser. | |
| MAR. Tis most fit, sir. | 40 |
| OVER. Ill therefore buy some cottage near his manor, | |
| Which done, Ill make my men break ope his fences, | |
| Ride oer his standing corn, and in the night | |
| Set fire on his barns, or break his cattles legs. | 44 |
| These trespasses draw on suits, and suits expenses, | |
| Which I can spare, but will soon beggar him. | |
| When I have harried him thus two or three year, | |
| Though he sue in forma pauperis, in spite | 48 |
| Of all his thrift and care, hell grow behindhand. | |
| MAR. The best I ever heard! I could adore you. | |
| OVER. Then, with the favour of my man of law, | |
| I will pretend some title. Want will force him | 52 |
| To put it to arbitrement; then, if he sell | |
| For half the value, he shall have ready money, | |
| And I possess his land. | |
| MAR. Tis above wonder! | 56 |
| Wellborn was apt to sell, and needed not | |
| These fine arts, sir, to hook him in. | |
| OVER. Well thought on. | |
| This varlet, Marrall, lives too long, to upbraid me | 60 |
| With my close cheat put upon him. Will nor cold | |
| Nor hunger kill him? | |
| MAR. I know not what to think ont. | |
| I have usd all means; and the last night I causd | 64 |
| His host, the tapster, to turn him out of doors; | |
| And have been since with all your friends and tenants, | |
| And, on the forfeit of your favour, chargd them, | |
| Though a crust of mouldy bread would keep him from starving, | 68 |
| Yet they should not relieve him. This is done, sir. | |
| OVER. That was something, Marrall; but thou must go further, | |
| And suddenly, Marrall. | |
| MAR. Where, and when you please, sir. | 72 |
| OVER. I would have thee seek him out, and, if thou canst, | |
| Persuade him that tis better steal than beg; | |
| Then, if I prove he has but robbd a henroost, | |
| Not all the world shall save him from the gallows. | 76 |
| Do any thing to work him to despair; | |
| And tis thy masterpiece. | |
| MAR. I will do my best, sir. | |
| OVER. I am now on my main work with the Lord Lovell, | 80 |
| The gallant-minded, popular Lord Lovell, | |
| The minion of the peoples love. I hear | |
| Hes come into the country, and my aims are | |
| To insinuate myself into his knowledge, | 84 |
| And then invite him to my house. | |
| MAR. I have you; | |
| This points at my young mistress. | |
| OVER. She must part with | 88 |
| That humble title, and write honourable, | |
| Right honourable, Marrall, my right honourable daughter, | |
| If all I have, or eer shall get, will do it. | |
| Ill have her well attended; there are ladies | 92 |
| Of errant knights decayd and brought so low, | |
| That for cast clothes and meat will gladly serve her. | |
| And tis my glory, though I come from the city, | |
| To have their issue whom I have undone, | 96 |
| To kneel to mine as bondslaves. | |
| MAR. Tis fit state, sir. | |
| OVER. And therefore, Ill not have a chambermaid | |
| That ties her shoes, or any meaner office, | 100 |
| But such whose fathers were right worshipful. | |
| Tis a rich mans pride! there having ever been | |
| More than a feud, a strange antipathy, | |
| Between us and true gentry. | 104 |
| |
Enter WELLBORN MAR. See, whos here, sir. | |
| OVER. Hence, monster! prodigy! | |
| WELL. Sir, your wifes nephew. | |
| OVER. Avoid my sight! thy breaths infectious, rogue! | 108 |
| I shun thee as a leprosy, or the plague. | |
| Come hither, Marrall [Aside.]this is the time to work him. Exit. | |
| MAR. I warrant you, sir. | |
| WELL. By this light I think hes mad. | 112 |
| MAR. Mad! had you taen compassion on yourself, | |
| You long since had been mad. | |
| WELL. You have taen a course | |
| Between you and my venerable uncle, | 116 |
| To make me so. | |
| MAR. The more pale-spirited you. | |
| That would not be instructed. I swear deeply | |
| WELL. By what? | 120 |
| MAR. By my religion. | |
| WELL. Thy religion! | |
| The devils creed:but what would you have done? | |
| MAR. Had there been but one tree in all the shire, | 124 |
| Nor any hope to compass a penny halter, | |
| Before, like you, I had outlivd my fortunes, | |
| A withe had servd my turn to hang myself. | |
| I am zealous in you cause; pray you hang yourself, | 128 |
| And presently, 4 as you love your credit. | |
| WELL. I thank you. | |
| MAR. Will you stay till you die in a ditch, or lice devour you? | |
| Or, if you dare not do the feat yourself, | 132 |
| But that youll put the state to charge and trouble, | |
| Is there no purse to be cut, house to be broken, | |
| Or market-woman with eggs, that you may murder, | |
| And so dispatch the business? | 136 |
| WELL. Heres variety, | |
| I must confess; but Ill accept of none | |
| Of all your gentle offers, I assure you. | |
| MAR. Why, have you hope ever to eat again, | 140 |
| Or drink? or be the master of three farthings? | |
| If you like not hanging, drown yourself! Take some course | |
| For your reputation. | |
| WELL. Twill not do, dear tempter, | 144 |
| With all the rhetoric the fiend hath taught you. | |
| I am as far as thou art from despair; | |
| Nay, I have confidence, which is more than hope, | |
| To live, and suddenly, better than ever. | 148 |
| MAR. Ha! ha! these castles you build in the air | |
| Will not persuade me to give or lend | |
| A token to you. | |
| WELL. Ill be more kind to thee: | 152 |
| Come, thou shalt dine with me. | |
| MAR. With you! | |
| WELL. Nay more, dine gratis. | |
| MAR. Under what hedge, I pray you? or a whose cost? | 156 |
| Are they padders 5 or abram-men 6 that are your consorts? | |
| WELL. Thou art incredulous; but thou shalt dine | |
| Not alone at her house, but with a gallant lady; | |
| With me, and with a lady. | 160 |
| MAR. Lady! what lady? | |
| With the Lady of the Lake, or queen of fairies? | |
| For I know it must be an enchanted dinner. | |
| WELL. With the Lady Allworth, knave. | 164 |
| MAR. Nay, now theres hope | |
| Thy brain is crackd. | |
| WELL. Mark there, with what respect | |
| I am entertaind. | 168 |
| MAR. With choice, no doubt, of dog-whips. | |
| Why, dost thou ever hope to pass her porter? | |
| WELL. Tis not far off, go with me; trust thine own eyes. | |
| MAR. Troth, in my hope, or my assurance rather, | 172 |
| To see thee curvet 7 and mount like a dog in a blanket, | |
| If ever thou presume to cross her threshold, | |
| I will endure thy company. | |
| WELL. Come along then. Exeunt. | 176 |