| |
| SIR, as your mandate did request, | |
| I send you here a faithfu’ list, | |
| O’ gudes an’ gear, an’ a’ my graith, | |
| To which I’m clear to gi’e my aith. | |
| |
| Imprimis, then, for carriage cattle, | 5 |
| I hae four brutes o’ gallant mettle, | |
| As ever drew afore a pettle. | |
| My hand-afore ’s a guid auld has-been, | |
| An’ wight an’ wilfu’ a’ his days been: | |
| My hand-ahin ’s a weel gaun fillie, | 10 |
| That aft has borne me hame frae Killie. 2 | |
| An’ your auld borough mony a time | |
| In days when riding was nae crime. | |
| But ance, when in my wooing pride | |
| I, like a blockhead, boost to ride, | 15 |
| The wilfu’ creature sae I pat to, | |
| (L—d pardon a’ my sins, an’ that too!) | |
| I play’d my fillie sic a shavie, | |
| She’s a’ bedevil’d wi’ the spavie. | |
| My furr-ahin ’s a wordy beast, | 20 |
| As e’er in tug or tow was traced. | |
| The fourth’s a Highland Donald hastle, | |
| A d—n’d red-wud Kilburnie blastie! | |
| Foreby a cowt, o’ cowts the wale, | |
| As ever ran afore a tail: | 25 |
| Gin he be spar’d to be a beast, | |
| He’ll draw me fifteen pund at least. | |
| Wheel-carriages I ha’e but few, | |
| Three carts, an’ twa are feckly new; | |
| An auld wheelbarrow, mair for token, | 30 |
| Ae leg an’ baith the trams are broken; | |
| I made a poker o’ the spin’le, | |
| An’ my auld mither brunt the trin’le. | |
| |
| For men, I’ve three mischievous boys, | |
| Run-deils for ranting an’ for noise; | 35 |
| A gaudsman ane, a thrasher t’ other: | |
| Wee Davock hauds the nowt in fother. | |
| I rule them as I ought, discreetly, | |
| An’ aften labour them completely; | |
| An’ aye on Sundays duly, nightly, | 40 |
| I on the Questions targe them tightly; | |
| Till, faith! wee Davock’s grown sae gleg, | |
| Tho’ scarcely langer than your leg, | |
| He’ll screed you aff Effectual Calling, | |
| As fast as ony in the dwalling. | 45 |
| |
| I’ve nane in female servant station, | |
| (L—d keep me aye frae a’ temptation!) | |
| I hae nae wife-and thay my bliss is, | |
| An’ ye have laid nae tax on misses; | |
| An’ then, if kirk folks dinna clutch me, | 50 |
| I ken the deevils darena touch me. | |
| Wi’ weans I’m mair than weel contented, | |
| Heav’n sent me ane mae than I wanted! | |
| My sonsie, smirking, dear-bought Bess, | |
| She stares the daddy in her face, | 55 |
| Enough of ought ye like but grace; | |
| But her, my bonie, sweet wee lady, | |
| I’ve paid enough for her already; | |
| An’ gin ye tax her or her mither, | |
| By the L—d, ye’se get them a’ thegither! | 60 |
| |
| And now, remember, Mr. Aiken, | |
| Nae kind of licence out I’m takin: | |
| Frae this time forth, I do declare | |
| I’se ne’er ride horse nor hizzie mair; | |
| Thro’ dirt and dub for life I’ll paidle, | 65 |
| Ere I sae dear pay for a saddle; | |
| My travel a’ on foot I’ll shank it, | |
| I’ve sturdy bearers, Gude the thankit! | |
| The kirk and you may tak you that, | |
| It puts but little in your pat; | 70 |
| Sae dinna put me in your beuk, | |
| Nor for my ten white shillings leuk. | |
| |
| This list, wi’ my ain hand I wrote it, | |
| The day and date as under noted; | |
| Then know all ye whom it concerns, | 75 |
Subscripsi huic, ROBERT BURNS.
MOSSGIEL, February 22, 1786. | |
