Fiction > Harvard Classics > Richard Brinsley Sheridan > The School for Scandal
Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751–1816).  The School for Scandal.
The Harvard Classics.  1909–14.
Act Third
Scene II
  Trip.  Here, Master Moses! if you’ll stay a moment I’ll try whether—what’s the gentleman’s name?  3
  Sir Oliv.  Mr. Moses, what is my name?  [Aside to MOSES.  4
  Mos.  Mr. Premium.  5
  Trip.  Premium—very well.  [Exit taking snuff.  6
  Sir Oliv.  To judge by the servants, one wouldn’t believe the master was ruined. But what!—sure, this was my brother’s house?  7
  Mos.  Yes, sir; Mr. Charles bought it of Mr. Joseph, with the furniture, pictures, &c., just as the old gentleman left it. Sir Peter thought it a piece of extravagance in him.  8
  Sir Oliv.  In my mind, the other’s economy in selling it to him was more reprehensible by half.  9
Re-enter TRIP
  Trip.  My master says you must wait, gentlemen: he has company, and can’t speak with you yet.  11
  Sir Oliv.  If he knew who it was wanted to see him, perhaps he would not send such a message.  12
  Trip.  Yes, yes, sir; he knows you are here—I did not forget little Premium: no, no, no.  13
  Sir Oliv.  Very well; and I pray, sir, what may be your name?  14
  Trip.  Trip, sir; my name is Trip, at your service.  15
  Sir Oliv.  Well, then, Mr. Trip, you have a pleasant sort of place here, I guess?  16
  Trip.  Why, yes—here are three or four of us pass our time agreeably enough; but then our wages are sometimes a little in arrear—and not very great either—but fifty pounds a year, and find our own bags and bouquets.  17
  Sir Oliv.  Bags and bouquets! halters and bastinadoes!  [Aside.  18
  Trip.  And à propos, Moses, have you been able to get me that little bill discounted?  19
  Sir Oliv.  Wants to raise money too!—mercy on me! Has his distresses too, I warrant, like a lord, and affects creditors and duns.  [Aside.  20
  Mos.  ’Twas not to be done, indeed, Mr. Trip.  21
  Trip.  Good luck, you surprise me! My friend Brush has indorsed it, and I thought when he put his name at the back of a bill ’twas the same as cash.  22
  Mos.  No, ’twouldn’t do.  23
  Trip.  A small sum—but twenty pounds. Hark’ee, Moses, do you think you couldn’t get it me by way of annuity?  24
  Sir Oliv.  An annuity! ha! ha! a footman raise money by way of annuity. Well done, luxury, egad!  [Aside.  25
  Mos.  Well, but you must insure your place.  26
  Trip.  Oh, with all my heart! I’ll insure my place, and my life too, if you please.  27
  Sir Oliv.  It’s more than I would your neck.  [Aside.  28
  Mos.  But is there nothing you could deposit?  29
  Trip.  Why, nothing capital of my master’s wardrobe has dropped lately; but I could give you a mortgage on some of his winter clothes, with equity of redemption before November—or you shall have the reversion of the French velvet, or a post-obit on the blue and silver;—these, I should think, Moses, with a few pair of point ruffles, as a collateral security—hey, my little fellow?  30
  Mos.  Well, well.  [Bell rings.  31
  Trip.  Egad, I heard the bell. I believe, gentlemen, I can now introduce you. Don’t forget the annuity, little Moses! This way, gentlemen, I’ll insure my place, you know.  32
  Sir Oliv.  [Aside.] If the man be a shadow of the master, this is the temple of dissipation indeed!  [Exeunt.  33


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