Verse > Padraic Colum > Anthology of Irish Verse
Padraic Colum (1881–1972).  Anthology of Irish Verse.  1922.
101. The Peeler and the Goat
By Anonymous
A BANSHA Peeler wint won night
On duty and pathrollin’ O,
An’ met a goat upon the road,
And tuck her for a sthroller O.
Wud bay’net fixed he sallied forth,        5
An’ caught her by the wizzen O,
An’ then he swore a mighty oath,
“I’ll send you off to prison O.”
“Oh, mercy, sir!” the goat replied,
“Pray let me tell my story O!        10
I am no Rogue, no Ribbonman,
No Croppy, Whig, or Tory O;
I’m guilty not of any crime
Of petty or high thraison O,
I’m sadly wanted at this time,        15
For this is the milkin’ saison O.”
“It is in vain for to complain
Or give your tongue such bridle O,
You’re absent from your dwellin’ place,
Disorderly and idle O.        20
Your hoary locks will not prevail,
Nor your sublime oration O,
You’ll be thransported by Peel’s Act,
Upon my information O.”
“No penal law did I transgress        25
By deeds or combination O.
I have no certain place to rest,
No home or habitation O.
But Bansha is my dwelling-place,
Where I was bred and born O,        30
Descended from an honest race,
That’s all the trade I’ve learned O.”
“I will chastise your insolince
And violent behaviour O;
Well bound to Cashel you’ll be sint,        35
Where you will gain no favour O.
The magistrates will all consint
To sign your condemnation O;
From there to Cork you will be sint
For speedy thransportation O.”        40
“This parish an’ this neighbourhood
Are paiceable and thranquil O;
There’s no disturbance here, thank God!
An’ long may it continue so.
I don’t regard your oath a pin,        45
Or sign for my committal O,
My jury will be gintlemin
And grant me my acquittal O.”
“The consequince be what it will,
A peeler’s power I’ll let you know,        50
I’ll handcuff you, at all events,
And march you off to Bridewell O.
An’ sure, you rogue, you can’t deny
Before the judge or jury O,
Intimidation with your horns,        55
An’ threatening me with fury O.”
“I make no doubt but you are dhrunk,
Wud whiskey, rum, or brandy O,
Or you wouldn’t have such gallant spunk
To be so bould or manly O.        60
You readily would let me pass
If I had money handy O,
To thrate you to a potheen glass—
Oh! it’s then I’d be the dandy O.”


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