Verse > Anthologies > Fuess and Stearns, eds. > The Little Book of Society Verse
Fuess and Stearns, comps.  The Little Book of Society Verse.  1922.
Mrs. Smith
By Frederick Locker-Lampson
Heigh-ho! they’re wed. The cards are dealt,
    Our frolic games are o’er;
I’ve laughed, and fool’d, and lov’d. I’ve felt
    As I shall feel no more!
Yon little thatch is where she lives,        5
    Yon spire is where she met me;
I think that if she quite forgives,
    She cannot quite forget me.
Last year I trod these fields with Di,
Fields fresh with clover and with rye;        10
    Now they seem arid.
Then Di was fair and single; how
Unfair it seems on me, for now
    Di’s fair—and married!
A blissful swain—I scorn’d the song        15
Which says that though young Love is strong.
    The Fates are stronger:
Breezes then blew a boon to men,
The buttercups were bright, and then
    This grass was longer.        20
That day I saw and much esteem’d
Di’s ankles, which the clover seem’d
    Inclined to smother:
It twitch’d, and soon untied (for fun)
The ribbon of her shoes, first one,        25
    And then the other.
I’m told that virgins augur some
Misfortune if their shoe-strings come
    To grief on Friday:
And so did Di, and then her pride        30
Decreed that shoe-strings so untied
    Are “so untidy!”
Of course I knelt; with fingers deft
I tied the right, and tied the left:
    Says Di, “The stubble        35
Is very stupid!—as I live
I’m quite ashamed!… I’m shock’d to give
    You so much trouble!”
For answer I was fain to sink
To what we all would say and think        40
    Were Beauty present:
“Don’t mention such a simple act—
A trouble? Not the least! In fact
    It’s rather pleasant!”
I trust that Love will never tease        45
Poor little Di, or prove that he’s
    A graceless rover.
She’s happy now as Mrs. Smith
And less polite when walking with
    Her chosen lover!        50
Heigh-ho! Although no moral clings
To Di’s blue eyes, and sandal strings,
    We’ve had our quarrels.
I think that Smith is thought an ass,—
I know that when they walk in grass        55
    She wears balmorals.

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