Verse > Anthologies > T. R. Smith, ed. > Poetica Erotica: A Collection of Rare and Curious Amatory Verse
T. R. Smith, comp.  Poetica Erotica: Rare and Curious Amatory Verse.  1921–22.
A Friend of Mine
Percy’s Folio Manuscript

A FRIEND of mine not long ago
    desired at my hands
Some pretty toy to move delight
    to those that hearers stand.
The which I mean to gratify        5
    by all the means I may,
And move delight in every wight
    that with affection stay.
Some thought to prove wherein I should
    these several humors please,        10
The which to do, reason forbids,
    but I should some displease;
But since my muse doth pleasure Chuse,
    and thereon bends her skill,
Whereby I may drive time away,        15
    and sorrows quite beguile.
It was my Chance, not long ago,
    by a pleasant wood to walk,
Where I unseen of any one
    did hear two lovers talk;        20
And as these lovers forth did pass,
    hard by a pleasant shade,
Hard by a mighty Pine tree there,
    their resting place they made.
“Insooth,” then did this young man say,        25
    “I thinke this fragrant place
Was only made for lovers true
    each other to embrace.”
He took her by the middle small,—
    good sooth I do not mock,—        30
Not meaning to do any thing
    but to pull up her: smo: block.
Whereon she sat, poor silly soul,
    to rest her weary bones.
This maid she was no whit afraid,        35
    but she caught him fast by the: stones: thumbs;
Whereat he vext and grieved was,
    so that his flesh did wrinkle;
This maid she was no whit afraid,
    but caught him fast hold by the: pintle: pimple.        40
Which he had on his chin likewise;—
    but let that pimple pass;—
There is no man here but he may suppose
    she were a merry lass.
He boldly ventured, being tall,        45
    yet in his speech bu[t] blunt,
He never ceast, but took up all,
    and caught her by the Cun: plumpe.
And red rose lips he kist full sweet:
    quoth she, “I crave no sucour.”        50
Which made him to have a mighty mind
    to clip, kiss, and to fuck: pluck her
Into his arms. “Nay! soft!” quoth she,
    “what needeth all this doing?
For if you will be ruled by me,        55
    you shall use small time in wooing.
“For I will lay me down,” quoth she,
    “upon the slippery segs,
And all my clothes I’ll truss up round,
    and spread about my: legs: eggs,        60
Which I have in my apron here
    under my girdle tuckt;
So shall I be most fine and brave,
    most ready to be: fuckt: duckt
“Unto some pleasant springing well;        65
    for now its time of the year
To deck, and bathe, and trim ourselves
    both head, hands, feet and gear.”

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