Verse > Anthologies > T. R. Smith, ed. > Poetica Erotica: A Collection of Rare and Curious Amatory Verse
T. R. Smith, comp.  Poetica Erotica: Rare and Curious Amatory Verse.  1921–22.
In Praise of a Deformed Woman
(From Choyce Drollery, 1656)

I LOVE thee for thy curled hair,
  As red as any Fox,
Our forefathers did still commend
  The lovely golden locks.
Venus her self might comelier be,        5
  Yet hath no such variety.
I love thee for thy squinting eyes,
  It breeds no jealousy,
For when thou do’st on others look,
  Methinks thou look’st on me,        10
    Venus her self, etc.
I love thee for thy copper nose,
  Thy fortune’s ne’re the worse,
If shows the metal in thy face
  Thou shouldst have in thy purse,        15
    Venus her self, etc.
I love thee for thy chestnut skin,
  Thy inside’s white to me,
That colour should be most approved,
  That will least changed be.        20
    Venus her self, etc.
I love thee for thy splay mouth,
  For on that amorous close
There’s room on either side to kiss,
  And ne’re offend the nose.        25
    Venus her self, etc.
I love thee for thy rotten gums,
  In good time it may hap,
When other wives are costly fed,
  I’ll keep thy chaps on pap.        30
    Venus her self, etc.
I love thee for thy blobber lips,
  ’Tis good thrift I suppose,
They’re dripping-pans unto thy eyes,
  And save-alls to thy nose.        35
    Venus her self, etc.
I love thee for thy hunched back,
  ’Tis bowed although not broken,
For I believe the Gods did send
  Me to Thee for a Token.        40
    Venus her self, etc.
I love thee for thy pudding waist,
  If a Taylor thou do’st lack,
Thou need’st not send to France for one,
  I’ll fit thee with a sack.        45
    Venus her self, etc.
I love thee for thy lusty thighs
  For tressels thou must boast,
Sweet-heart thou hast a water-mill,
  And these are the mill-posts.        50
    Venus her self, etc.
I love thee for thy splay feet,
  They’re fools that thee deride,
Women are always most esteemed,
  When their feet are most wide.        55
    Venus her self may comelier be, etc.

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