Verse > Anthologies > T. R. Smith, ed. > Poetica Erotica: A Collection of Rare and Curious Amatory Verse
T. R. Smith, comp.  Poetica Erotica: Rare and Curious Amatory Verse.  1921–22.
You Remember the Nuts
(An Irish Broadside. 1870)

IN Belfast lived a merchant, a wealthy merchant man,
He had as fine apprentice boy as e’er the sun shone on,
He was proper, tall, and handsome, and everything was right,
He could lie with a pretty girl and kiss her twelve times a night.
The mistress she being standing by, and heard him saying so,        5
Said, Jack, I hold a wager that you do not perform it so,
The master he being from home that night and all things right,
He slipped into the mistress’s chamber and kissed her twelve times that night.
One of them was a drowsy one, there was no virtue in,
Which made the mistress for to say you did not the wager win.        10
If I did not win the wager as you suppose you like,
I will leave it to my master when he comes home this night.
When the master he came home that night and at his supper sat
Said Jack unto his master, I wish you’d know a bet,
As your mistress and I was walking down yonder green wood side,        15
And I on your own mare’s back a cluster of nuts I spied,
She said there was a dozen, I said there was but eleven,
I threw them in her apron, and there was five and seven,
Five and seven is a dozen I heard the people say,
So Jack you won the wager if the mistress does you pay.        20
The mistress she being standing by and heard him saying so,
She gave him down the wager and was glad to get off so,
When the master is from home she’s sure to stuff his guts,
She tips him on the shoulder, saying, you recollect the nuts.

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