Nonfiction > Lionel Strachey, et al., eds. > The World’s Wit and Humor > American
The World’s Wit and Humor: An Encyclopedia in 15 Volumes.  1906.
Vols. I–V: American
Finnigin to Flannigan
By Strickland W. Gillilan (1869–1954)
Boss av the siction wuz Finnigin;
Whiniver the kyars got offen the thrack,
An’ muddled up things t’ th’ divil an’ back,
Finnigin writ it to Flannigan,        5
Afther the wrick wuz all on ag’in;
  That is, this Finnigin
  Repoorted to Flannigan.
Whin Finnigin furst writ to Flannigan,
He writed tin pages—did Finnigin,        10
An’ he tould jist how the smash occurred;
Full minny a tajus, blunderin’ wurrd
Did Finnigin write to Flannigan
Afther the cars had gone on ag’in.
  That wuz how Finnigin        15
  Repoorted to Flannigan.
Now Flannigan knowed more than Finnigin—
He’d more idjucation, had Flannigan;
An’ it wore’m clane an’ complately out
To tell what Finnigin writ about        20
In his writin’ to Muster Flannigan.
So he writed back to Finnigin:
  “Don’t do sich a sin ag’in;
  Make ’em brief, Finnigin!”
Whin Finnigin got this from Flannigan,        25
He blushed rosy rid, did Finnigin;
An’ he said: “I’ll gamble a whole month’s pa-ay
That it will be minny an’ minny a da-ay
Befoore Sup’rintindint—that’s Flannigan—
Gits a whack at this very same sin ag’in.        30
  From Finnigin to Flannigan
  Repoorts won’t be long ag’in.”
*        *        *        *        *
Wan da-ay, on the siction av Finnigin,
On the road sup’rintinded by Flannigan,
A rail give way on a bit av a curve,        35
An’ some kyars went off as they made the swerve.
“There’s nobody hurted,” sez Finnigin,
“But repoorts must be made to Flannigan.”
  An’ he winked at McGorrigan,
  As married a Finnigin.        40
He wuz shantyin’ thin, wuz Finnigin,
As minny a railroader’s been ag’in,
An’ the shmoky ol’ lamp wuz burnin’ bright
In Finnigin’s shanty all that night—
Bilin’ down his repoort, was Finnigin!        45
An’ he writed this here: “Muster Flannigan:
  Off ag’in, on ag’in,
  Gone ag’in.—Finnigin.”

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