Something hurtful someone told me that I didn't want to hear:
"You're not smart enough to do this, I don’t think you’re smart enough to understand this…"
F
N
Hurt, angry, inadequate
Validation, support, encouragement
What I was feeling when that was said to me:
I felt hurt, angry, and inadequate. I felt like I wasn't good enough and that I didn't deserve
to succeed. I felt that no matter how hard I tried, I wasn’t going to understand what they
were trying to teach me.
What I needed and was not getting in the moment I heard the words:
I needed validation, support, and encouragement. I needed someone to tell me that I was
smart enough and that I could do it. I needed someone with patience and empathy to
guide me.
F
N
Angry, frustrated, insecure
Validation, respect, understanding
Step 6: What I imagine the other person was feeling as they were speaking to me:
I imagine that the other person was feeling angry, frustrated, and insecure. They may
have felt like they were not being heard or understood. A sense of failure and loss, that
they were failing their pupil.
Step 7: What I imagine the other person needed and was not getting in the moment they heard
their words:
