Seven Principles Review 2 (1)

.pdf

School

Liberty University *

*We aren’t endorsed by this school

Course

602

Subject

Philosophy

Date

Dec 6, 2023

Type

pdf

Pages

7

Uploaded by Kenrob08

SEVEN PRINCIPLES REVIEW 1 Abstract This paper thoroughly reviews the book "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman and Nan Silver. It delves into how emotional intelligence and friendship play a vital role in having and maintaining a healthy relationship. The paper also closely details the seven principles that Dr. Gottman created to help a couple's marriage flourish. Finally, after reading the book, the paper gives a personal response, reflection, and application.
SEVEN PRINCIPLES REVIEW 2 The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Review The book "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman and Nan Silver was first published in 1999. Dr. Gottman was one of the trailblazers to revolutionize the study of marriage by creating his love lab in Seattle. Dr. Gottman and a team of researchers through the University of Washington observed married couples inside an apartment behind a one-way mirror. The apartment also had video cameras, heart rate monitors, and microphones to ensure the highest quality research when watching the couples interact. Throughout the research conducted, Gottman & Silver (2015) claim to be able to predict with noteworthy accuracy whether a couple will stay happily married or divorce after only 15 minutes of listening to them communicate and interact. Dr. Gottman compiled the research collection into a practical guide to help couples navigate the complexity of marriage. Emotional Intelligent Marriage and Friendship In Chapters one and two, Gottman & Silver (2015) talk about some of the key findings that make marriage work. The first key finding that contributes to a successful marriage is having emotional intelligence within the marriage. This happens when both partners are able to regulate and understand their own emotions. Couples with emotional intelligence tend to understand each other and create an environment of empathy and care for one another. The second key finding that contributes to a successful marriage, according to Gottman & Silver (2015), is the couple's ability to have a genuine friendship with each other. In fact, Dr. Gottman says that friendship is the foundation of the seven principles in the book. Couples with a deep friendship typically know each other more intimately than couples who do not share a
SEVEN PRINCIPLES REVIEW 3 deep friendship. According to Gottman & Silver (2015), a deep friendship is the best protection against negative thoughts and emotions against your spouse. Once the marriage is accustomed to a high level of positivity, it takes a substantial amount of negativity to harm the relationship. The Seven Principles Dr. Gottman created the seven principles based on his research to help guide couples toward a healthy and long-lasting marriage. Principle one is found on the idea that emotionally healthy couples are familiar with each other's worlds. Gottman & Silver (2015) call this having a detailed love map or the cognitive storage of relevant information about your spouse's world. Couples with a detailed love map are said to be more prepared to face challenging stressors like having children or a family member's death. Principle two discusses the importance of fondness and admiration, and how to set up a system. According to Gottman & Silver (2015), fondness and admiration are two important pieces to a healthy and lasting marriage. It is healthy when a couple has an overwhelmingly positive view of their current relationship as well as the beginning of the relationship. The key to building a healthy system of fondness and admiration is to form a habit of pointing out the qualities and actions you appreciate from your spouse. Principle Three & Four Principle three explains the importance of letting your spouse know that they are a treasure. Gottman & Silver (2015) say that couples are always making “bids” for each other's attention. The partner responds to the bid by turning to their spouse or away from them. This shows your partner that you care and usually results in passion, trust, and a great sex life (Gottman & Silver, 2015).
Your preview ends here
Eager to read complete document? Join bartleby learn and gain access to the full version
  • Access to all documents
  • Unlimited textbook solutions
  • 24/7 expert homework help