CFT360-TWA3

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Apr 3, 2024

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Brigiette Lytle CFT 360-1002 Professor Perkins February 29, 2024 Consumer and Covenant Marriage & Crossing Thresholds 1. In the “Consumer and Covenant Marriage” article, the author describes two approaches to marriage. a. Describe what he means by “consumer marriage.” Consumer marriage has high psychological expectations and focuses on making sure one’s own needs are being met while also making sure their partner is doing a well job to their standards. b. Describe what he means by “modern covenant marriage.” Modern covenant marriage is a new way to be in committed relationships in the twenty first century (Doherty), and involves not only a commitment to the other person, but also the marriage itself. This form of marriage is viewed as something very sacred and powerful and does not focus on whether or not the spouse’s desires are being met. 2. Discuss the differences in how one would approach or enter marriage from these two perspectives. When a person approaches or enters marriage from the perspective of a consumer, they are only open to doing their part in the relationship as long as their own needs and wants are being met by their spouse. An example of this could be if a married man only wants

to have sex with his wife when he is seeking pleasure for himself, not because he is seeking to pleasure her. When a person views their marriage in the covenant perspective, they prioritize their marriage even if their partner isn’t holding up their end of the relationship. These type of partners focus on loving their marriages and partners in the same capacity as their own selves or religions. These marriages take critical skills including self-awareness, empathy, negotiation, and understanding (Doherty). 3. What difference would it make in how a couple deals with problems or handles differences in their marriage from these two perspectives? Both modern covenant marriages and consumer marriages acknowledge the importance of each partner being expressive about their wants, needs, and expectations in their marriages. In the perspective of a covenant marriage, couples value their marriages just as much as themselves and their partners. When dealing with conflict, these couples believe minor disagreements aren’t sufficient enough for divorce and will consider marriage counseling in times of trouble (Doherty). Within a consumer marriage, these partners don’t consider how situations may have affected the opposing spouse, and instead focuses on whether or not they are satisfied. These types of couples also consider finding someone else to satisfy them if they feel their partner can’t or won’t. 4. How would it affect the overall quality of the marriage? Consumer marriages are very unhealthy for relationships because it’s extremely one- sided. Covenant marriages could potentially affect the overall quality of marriage in a positive aspect because it promotes couples to have pre-marital education, marriage counseling, and a two year separation prior to divorcing (Doherty).

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