bell hooks essay

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College of Charleston *

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Psychology

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Oct 30, 2023

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6

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Kobe Jackson In her book "The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love," bell hooks makes the case that men must go through a process of introspection and emotional labor in order to get past the detrimental consequences of patriarchy on their emotional life. The following paragraph, for instance, emphasizes this claim. "In patriarchal culture, one of the ways in which men are socialized to avoid emotional expression is by being taught to fear their own vulnerability. For men, vulnerability is equated with weakness, and weakness is seen as a failure of masculinity. Men who are unable to suppress their vulnerability may be subject to ridicule or ostracism from other men, reinforcing the fear of emotional expression" (hooks, 2004, p. 19). This passage is crucial because it recognizes the fear of vulnerability as a major impediment to men's emotional growth in patriarchal cultures. Hooks claims that this anxiety is ingrained in males from an early age and is strengthened by cultural standards that associate weakness with vulnerability. Men consequently learn to repress their feelings and refrain from showing signs of vulnerability, which can have a variety of detrimental effects on their relationships and mental health. According to Hooks, males must through an emotional healing process in order to transcend this phobia and its detrimental implications. In addition to establishing new ways of thinking and acting that are more in keeping with their authentic selves, this work entails confronting and fighting the patriarchal beliefs and standards that have molded their emotional lives. Men can learn to embrace their vulnerabilities and express their emotions in positive and healthy ways by doing this.
Men have been educated to steer clear of actions that are seen as feminine or weak because of societal expectations and cultural conventions that traditionally associate masculinity with power and authority. Men may experience pressure to suppress emotional expressiveness and vulnerability as a result, even in ordinary circumstances. In this essay, we'll look at the reasons guys can think they can't be vulnerable and how that might affect their relationships and mental health. Men are socialized from an early age to be powerful, dominate, and to avoid showing any sign of vulnerability. Boys are frequently instructed to "man up" and repress their feelings. Traditional masculine values, according to Levant et al. (2010), encourage "toughness" and "self- reliance," while opposing actions like "sensitivity" and "vulnerability." Children's toys targeted to guys, which frequently encourage hostility and competition, might be used to observe this socialization process. Men can overcome social pressure to repress their emotions by identifying and combating negative gender stereotypes. Boys can be taught that emotions are a normal part of life and that emotional expression and literacy are encouraged from an early age (Kashdan, Barrett, & McKnight, 2015). Men can also look into counseling or support groups, which can aid in their development of emotional intelligence and communication abilities. There are several reasons why men repress their feelings. The societal norms that have long defined what it means to be a man are among the most important causes. Through media, society, and other channels, men are frequently told that they must be emotionally indifferent and strong (Kilmartin, 2005). Men's relationships and mental health may be significantly impacted by the avoidance of vulnerability. Men may experience loneliness and a lack of emotional resiliency, which can result in sadness and anxiety (Addis, 2010). Men may also find it difficult to express themselves clearly
to their partners or other people they care about, which can cause relationship issues.For men's emotional and interpersonal well-being, letting go of old masculine conventions can be a difficult undertaking. Promoting emotional literacy and expression at a young age is one approach to do this. This can be accomplished by educating guys and showing them that feeling and expressing emotions is healthy. Additionally, assisting males in finding counseling or support groups can aid in their development of emotional intelligence and communication abilities. Although hooks' argument is strong, there are some issues with it. One criticism of Hooks' theory is that it does not adequately explain the experiences of men who have not been raised to conform to standard ideas of masculinity. Men who identify as gay or transgender, for instance, could perceive gender differently and might not feel as pressed to uphold traditional masculine stereotypes. Another criticism of hooks' theory is that it does not adequately account for the ways in which patriarchy has harmed women's emotional life. In addition to teaching males to repress their feelings, patriarchy has also conditioned women to be overly sensitive and reliant on men to meet their emotional demands. The emotional effects of patriarchy on both men and women may not be entirely explained by hooks' thesis. Finally, the ways in which other types of oppression interact with patriarchy to affect men's emotional life may not be properly taken into account by hooks' theory. For instance, hooks' argument may not fully address the additional difficulties that males who are also members of oppressed racial or ethnic groups may experience with regard to their emotional well-being. In conclusion, masculinity has historically been associated with power and domination in accordance with society expectations and cultural standards. Even in regular situations, men may feel compelled to suppress their emotions and avoid showing signs of weakness. The effects on their relationships and mental health may be profound. Men can, however, strengthen their
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