2016 Review And 2017 Expectations

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2016 review and 2017 expectations
This is going to be possibly sloppy writing, though it’s my rawest and most honest. And some of this is a reflection from 2016 because some events were the causes of the things I did during the year. Still, I’m open to critical feedback as it is my first published post here on Medium. Be kind and respectful of my thoughts, I’m still reflecting as I head into this new year.
The Initial Thought
I am sitting here a few minutes past one o’clock in the morning and thinking about what my life is going to be for this year. More dating? A relationship? Will I be sitting in complete silence while I reflect on how I am going to complete my copious amounts of essays? And, will I find myself doing something not
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I had always thought of relationships with someone, and maybe starting to ‘dip my toe in the water’ and see what is out there. In high school, I began to realize, more so than junior high, that I liked the male form and how it looked. I was transfixed about the deepness of their voices and height gain, and other things that happen in development. I had known for years, down to the moment I felt something was different, at 7 years old, but that’s for another time.
Still, I was not secure and had no idea to what my sexuality was. And with growing up in and with the societal idea that being anything other than straight was wrong and is something that can be vehemently mocked, I left it alone. Yes, I know that not everyone is going to berate me for liking my own sex, love is love after all. But school kids can be harsh and not actually realize the extent that their actions pose on someone else. I may have believed then that I could stand up for myself, but I still was not at a place where I could verbally fire back shots, and being physical was not possible with my stature. I see this now than I did back in 2010. However, I did have people in my life to defend me if I needed it, but I had to find myself and learn how to anticipate others’ actions.
Besides all that running around in my mind, I had clearly discerned that I liked guys and had an interest in girls, but not as strong than in guys. For a while, I had
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