A Brief History of Courtship and Dating in America

During the 19th century, social life began to become more sexualized and people began to be defined by their sexual behaviors. With this, the idea of love and romance was feminized; and women were considered the ones who expressed their emotions, accepted strong feelings, and remained pure. In contrast, men started to be considered sexualized creatures that were expected to be emotionally reserved. Today there is a sexual double standard that puts pressure on women to engage in less sexual activity than men and puts pressure on men to maintain a standard of masculinity, just like in the 19th century. Below we will not only explore the “feminization of love” as discussed in class, but also expand on how it has made an impact on sexual expectations of men and women and how this relates to the sexual stigmatization of casual sex.

Although there were many changes in the features of marriage and courtship in the 1920s, many of the elements of courtship and marriage have remained constant. The changes that occurred are still evident in society today. The

Dating back to the early 1900’s and all the way through to the present, romantic relationships have been viewed differently. From strict unwritten dating regulations to not having regulations at all, recent generations have become more liberated in making their own decisions. The progressing times have made us become a more accepting society and have caused a decrease in the strong practice of religion and class. Even though differences such as religion and class in relationships were more than an issue they were not always a complete deterrence.

Modern dating and relationships, as they are today, would never be considered a social norm for past generations. Other, earlier, generations were much more conservative. For instance, today’s version of dating is ‘Netflix and chill’ and online dating. Dating as a social norm changed nearly every decade. In the 1900s and 1910s it was considered a social norm to ask permission to date a woman from her parents and be supervised by the woman’s parents when they were together (Dating 2). In the next decade, the 1920s and 30s, dating had a significant change in what would be considered socially acceptable during that time period. Young people of the time considered dating a relaxed way to get to know another person (Dating 2). Dating at this time was more about social status than the person themselves. In the time of the 1940s to 1950s, women were significantly more concerned with a man’s likelihood of surviving the war than his social status (Dating 2). During this time, there was more of a chance that people would have premarital sex within a committed relationship (Dating 2). Teens and young adults “went steady”, which was the precursor to getting married (1950s 2). The final intention of the relationship was marriage, so more individuals had premarital sex. Around the mid-1960s, birth control made an appearance, and this time was also considered the end of dating

Back in the eighteenth century, marriage was seen as a business contract without considering love as the main reason for any relationship. According to Ingrid H. Tague, an assistant

The community in which I reside is a very rural setting. It has not ascribed to the marriage covenant movement per say, however, the state has mandated that all marriage license fees be reduced by $32.50 if the couple completes marriage counseling sessions of at least four hours. This counseling must have taken place no sooner than one year prior to the date on the marriage license application.[1]

In the years leading up to the feminist movement, men initiated the contact with women. Men would woo young women by their charm and with the permission of her parents, spend time together. As time progressed, dating became more common and a way of really getting to know someone. With the emergence of the twenty-first century, dating has taken an entirely new form with many stages. The first stage of dating is of course the initial “liking of someone because they are attractive” stage. This stage then leads to the talking stage. As…. says, “talking” is a time in which two people may casually get to know each other through texting, talking on the phone and hanging out casually, possibly while going on dates.

By the mid-fourteenth century, courtly love became an accustomed behavior. The heart of courtly love grew to demand a knight’s complete obedience to his mistress under his honor and courtesy, by means of taxing ordeals to prove his enduring commitment to her. The resulting relationship would be characterized by full expressions of mutual lust and love. Fast-forward to America during the Roaring Twenties and romantic love had long become the basis of most marriages, but the great Jay Gatsby revives the medieval style of courtship to address his deep affection for his beauteous lover.

The concept of marriage is not how it used to be with everyone being so happy and cheery, not it's not being planned out very well and the timing is either too soon or too late. Now women can go stand on a corner to get paid for sex. Brave New World uses sex as a distraction like how social media is for teens nowadays. Sex has the power to avoid passion with one another for love in the World State.

Cherlin concludes that although today’s society focuses on the ideas of independence and institutionalized what marriage once met, the symbol for marriage is just as significant as it was before. Marriage is now “something to be achieved through one’s own efforts rather than something to which one routinely accedes” (50). Cherlin’s overall tone is genuine, in search of an answer to explain the social change. It is informative to the fact that people should understand the change that occurred because of the social norm

traditional ways of ‘love and marriage.’ In the 1920s and the 1930s, the new concept of dating began to dominate. The act of courtship began to fall subordinate to dating and many couples began to adventure out into the public sphere on dates. The result of dates contributed to the notion that men would pay for whatever public activity was done between the couple. However, the rise of entertainment culture was an outlet for young men and women to show off each other in order to boost their reputation. “Popularity was clearly the key”, states Beth Bailey, as the number of dates someone went on demonstrated his or her popularity to the public eye (Bailey, 26). This ‘rate and date system’ was essentially the main system that was put in place

The 1920-1930’s, was the start of the “calling” style of dating and automobile dating. When the car was invented going out to restaurants, and the cinema became commonplace. With this came a system of ratings, women were looking for and would only date men with money and who were offering gifts (Bogle, 2014). The technology used

Sales in her writing explores many premises presented in the essential nature of the outside culture of today’s online dating manners. Sales write’s of the in’s and outs of why online dating has created a sort of “Dating apocalypse” in the culture of today. Assuredly she explicitly states,“Dating app swiping has been jocularly incorporated into advertisements of various products to the nod to notion that, online, the act of choosing consumer brands and sex partners has become interchangeable”(2). Prior to the internet dating culture, much of the relationship that took place were very serious and not seen as a joke, not many “hookups” were taking place. In many ways that idea has

By the 1960s, the sexual revolution dramatically changed the dating environment, and for many, the goal of courtship was no longer marriage. Cohabitation was a popular choice, however, during the mid-1980s, this notion of free love began to erode as concerns over the spread of HIV became more prominent. This in turn, lead to a greater emphasis on monogomy.

Traditionally, Courtship before marriage is rare, and parents choose their offspring’s future husband/wife. However, nowadays, almost 99% of Korean couples have courtships before they get married, but still have to get permission from their parents to get married.