A Brief Note On William Edward Hartpole Lecky

Imagine coming home from middle school to your grandmother house on your mother’s side to find it unusually quiet and everyone with tears in their eyes. Imagine being told your father had a routine surgery but nothing was routine about the results. Imagine having thanksgiving dinner with your family and the phone rings then you hear a loud scream and feet running towards you to let you know your father has died. Imagine going to school the following weeks and hearing jokes that your dad died because “the turkey was dry”, “He choked on a chicken bone”, and “He wanted to leave your mom”. I did not have to imagine because it became my reality at the age of 13.

On May 11th 2013, my grandma passed away due to pancreatic cancer. A little later that year on September 25th, my mom received a call from my aunt in Guam that my dad had passed away in his sleep. Then on May 14th 2014, my grandpa passed from complications of an allergic reaction to a medication. So within a year, I was left to deal with three immediate family deaths, one right after another. Losing such important figures in one’s life could leave someone depressed and unmotivated to move on with their own life and to rise above those challenges is difficult, yet possible. During this time of hardship, I grew discouraged and saddened, but over time I became motivated to set aside these struggles and make a change.

Nothing could prepare me for the news I received six years ago about the unexpected death of my close friend Joey. I will never forget the night he died. How I had been with him just minutes before, and how his death was totally unnecessary and preventable. A few weeks before Christmas in 2001, Joey, myself and a few of my other co-workers were closing down the local restaurant we worked at while attending Umass Lowell. It had been a busy night, and we didn't end up finishing work until 1am. Having worked all day, we were all extremely tired, and could not wait to go home. Most of us were staying in Lowell at the time, but Joey had chosen to commute to campus and therefore had to travel out to Reading. I

I could hear muted sobs as friends and family members began lashing out in tears. Yet, I stood still as ever as memories with my best friend began flashing in my head. I was best friends with a girl who lived right next door to me since birth. We told secrets and laughed with one another since the day I can recall my earliest memory as a child. It was unfortunate to see it all come to an end now that she was gone. All I saw was her lifeless body slowly turning pale on a stretcher stationed on her living room floor. This was one of those moments that makes you question how quickly life can take an unexpected turn. I wasn't willing to accept that

INTRO: “ Grief is NOT a disorder, a disease or sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve” (Earl Grollman)

Throughout the world, many would argue that one of the hardest challenges people face is losing someone in their life. The loss of a loved one can leave you in an intense and immensely depressing state and everyone reacts different with how they cope with it. However, they still go through the same process of losing someone which is denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Even though there are people who can endure loss and be able to move on, there are others like Edward Taylor and Anne Bradstreet who struggle for a long period of time. When Taylor's and Bradstreet’s grandchildren or children died, it caused them to become extremely sad, have a hard time in carrying out their daily activities, and they began to doubt their beliefs.

On January 5, 2009 my father pasted away. He and I did not have the typical father-son relationship; we did not have a relationship at all. I presumed that it would have a little if any affect on me. However, as the semester continued, it seemed to get worse. Besides my father’s passing, several weeks later my grandmother was diagnosed with dementia. It was difficult for me to deal with, but it was more difficult for my mother to handle.

When I was 11 years old, my father died. Not knowing what to do with that reality and the emotions that came with it, I turned to my mother. My mother has always been my rock, so I was confident that she would put this entire situation into perspective. She explained to me how my dad had been sick for a while, and how god did not want to see him suffer any longer, so he called my father home. When I attended the funeral, it occurred to me that this would be the last time I would see my father. As the time of grieving progressed, I grew unmotivated, uninterested, and depressed. In middle school, I joined an after school program called Teen Hype. Teen Hypes's goal was to empower youth to be their very best self. After joining this program, my

A good chunk of my life outside of school was being with my dad and helping him while he was recovering from the surgeries. I knew my dad needed help so rather than hanging out with my friends I devoted my free time to him. There was a time when my father couldn't get out of bed by himself. My Grandfather and I would have to help him walk anywhere in the house. I would have to cook dinner and clean the house for us. I knew he wouldn’t be able to jump out of bed and everything would be back to normal. There was times when I had to bathe him, change his clothes for him, and do his laundry. Even now that my dad is recovered from his surgeries fatigue still kicks in and we can really only do something together for

When I turned 11-years-old my whole childhood began to change my life went from being perfect to everything but perfect. One day I came home to hear the news my father, my best friend; my hero was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. Not knowing the struggle my family was about to take on I just began to cry. I had a million things running through my head what’s going to happen? Will everything be okay? Why him? What is going to happen? With all these things rushing through my head all I could do was cry not knowing this was least worse to come.

Growing up, I never fully understood the significance of having my parents around. Seldom did I fully cherish spending time with them, or showed them that I appreciated the things they did for me. I always thought that my relationship and time with them was certain. With this mentality, I never learned to be grateful for my family and the opportunities they’ve given me. Not once had it occurred to me that there was a possibility that at any moment, I could lose them unexpectedly. However, at the age of twelve, the mindset I held with me completely altered, when my father was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia.

There are moments in everyone’s life that have the possibility to make or break them. A person can choose to succumb to the brutality of this long ride they call life or can climb out of the pit of despair and face your challenges head-on. I found myself at a crossroads and had this choice to make when my father passed away. This is my most life changing moment, but it isn’t even a moment, yet more like a snowball effect that has caused mass destruction throughout my entire life. Even though I have lost so much because of my father’s death, it is because of this that I have gained so much such as perseverance and responsibility.

After my period of grieving, I decided that I had to advance my attempts to do well in school and find the path in life I wanted to take. I began to take high school more serious and stopped having a mindset of “this is easy” like I had in middle school. I pushed myself to go above and beyond, but even so I had an extremely hard time adjusting to high school. Facing many adversities, I reminded myself that life goes on and does not stop for anyone. I went out of my comfort zone and overcame my obstacles, so that all the sadness, fear, anger, and guilt would go away. During my high school years I had much more responsibility, since my family knew that they could rely on me more. Whenever my parents are not home, I have to babysit my brothers, if my parents can not take my siblings to a swim practice, violin class, or can’t pick up my brothers from school, I willingly take them even if it means cancelling my own plans or practices. My grandfather always had time for his family and made sure to put them first. He loved us no matter what and knew the importance of having a family. Because of him, my appreciation for family has grown and taking on this responsibility that my parents have given me the opportunity to grow into a more flexible, understanding, and independent

My family’s dog died of disease, my grandma’s father died of old age, and my mom as well as my dad’s wife died of cancer. My dad is just like his mom. They process the loss and move on. They don’t let it stop them. I am death denying like my brother is, except he accepts death while I push it away. I try to avoid it at all costs and since my mom died last month, I have pushed every feeling I can away. It surprised me how accepting of death my grandma was. For some reason, I thought she would be weary of death and not want to talk about it. I thought she would have been more like I am. When she said her most important loss helped her become a more compassionate nurse, I admired that. It gives me hope to use my personal loss as a motivation for my nursing career. After all, my mom always said she wanted me to become a doctor or a lawyer (nursing is good enough, sorry mom!). From this assignment, I learned that you should not hold everything back. Everyone has their moments, but these moments cannot stop a person from doing things that need to be done. Remember the good and do not dwell on the bad my grandmother says. Push through and take breaks when needed. I learned that it is okay to take time to process everything and to express my emotions when needed. A person does not have to be strong all the time, and it is time I start to realize that. I have learned that I can live life how I want, or I can stay sheltered. Either way,

My father passed away in 1991, two weeks before Christmas. I was 25 at the time but until then I had not grown up. I was still an ignorant youth that only cared about finding the next party. My role model was now gone, forcing me to reevaluate the direction my life was heading. I needed to reexamine some of the lessons he taught me through the years.