“There are times in the lives of most of us, when we would have given all the world to be as we were but yesterday, though that yesterday had passed over us unappreciated and unenjoyed.” – William Edward Hartpole Lecky
THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS
When my dad passed away last July, it was tough. It was halfway through the summer, I had just graduated from high school, and I was preparing to embark on the exciting and nerve-wracking journey that is college. All the while, I was living life in my own little world, detached and disconnected from those closest to me. Most of my days consisted of working one job or another (at the time I was juggling three, for no justifiable reason), and my days off consisted of sleeping in, spending lazy afternoons by the pool, evenings by the fire with friends, and late nights of Netflix. But I got lost in that little world. I forgot to be present, mindful, and – most of all – appreciative. So when my dad, who was neither sick nor ill, didn’t wake up from his sleep one morning, Reality didn’t just bring me back down to earth. It hit me. Hard.
In the first few nights after my dad passed away, I couldn’t sleep. During the day, I couldn’t eat. In the mornings, I would step into the shower, curl into a ball, and hope that the sound of the water running would muffle my wailing and sobbing. In the face of it all, I had the misconception that it was my responsibility and duty to never shed a tear around others, to always maintain an optimistic tone,