A Case for Shared Parenting

     In the United States today more than one-half of all marriages end in divorce. The purpose of this paper is to examine the reason why women have typically received custody of the children far more often than the fathers. In order to better understand child custody one must first examine how fathers have often times been left out of the picture, and conversely why mothers have had such hard times raising children on their own. This paper will first examine the perspective of a father who has lost custody of his children.

The divorce rates nationally are just getting higher and higher year by year. The national average is that 50% of marriages end in divorce (mariage and divorce, 2015). Children who have divorced parents or parents who are going through divorce have more hard times. Some of the reasons of this are because, of the loss of the parent that they are not living

One thing that almost everybody will have to deal with at least once in their lifetime is parenting. In parenting, both parents are needed to make the job easier on themselves, their marriage and their child. In the essay The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was. by Hope Edelman, Edelman tells her experience with co-parenting. Edelman, along with many women, initially believed that co-parenting was possible. She soon figured out, however, that it was not a realistic goal. Some points that Edelman hits in the essay are the gender roles and societal expectations in parenting, being the nurturer versus being the provider, and how poor communication can ruin

In her article “The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was”, author Hope Edelman claims that perhaps the ideal, balanced, and harmonious marriage that many couples yearn for is merely an unachievable myth. Edelman’s anger and frustration drives her essay as she recounts her childhood, analyzes societal gender roles, and narrates her own relationship in order to explore the concept of shared responsibility in a marriage.

Marriage has been constantly changing over the past centuries. Currently, trends in marriage have adopted a new way of getting married through splitting responsibilities and work, resulting in social freedom for individuals. "The Myth of Co-Parenting,” by Hope Edelman demonstrates the difficulties of taking all the responsibilities while in “ My Problem with Her Anger,” explains the needs of having a better understanding of each other. Due to marriage changing over the last centuries, marriage couples desire individuals’ expectations and freedom to be met in marriage.

In “The Myth Of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed To Be. How It Was.,” Hope Edelman lays out the many obstacles she and her husband, John, had to overcome in their first years of marriage. She admits that from the beginning she assumed that all responsibilities would be split 50/50: if she contributed to the household income, he would contribute to helping out with childcare and housekeeping. But because John was in the midst of starting a new business and was working up to 92 hours per week, Edelman quickly realized how wrong her assumption was. As her own work hours started to dwindle down to about 18 per week, Edelman started to become extremely angry with the way her household as being run. She wanted John there to help her make decisions,

In “ The Case for Free-Range Parenting,” an article in The New York Times, Clemens Wergin discusses should children go out without parents or older people supervision. Wergin said parents don’t need to be with their children when they go out, and he thinks it can help child easier to fit in a new community. However, that is illegal in U.S, and most American children spent their free time at home. Today children have no freedom in their childhood because most parents are taking their children with them everywhere they go, but it is even danger then let their children roam freely. Also, give more freedom to children they will easier to control their anger and fear than the kids that have no freedom. At the end, Wergin thinks child desire freedom because they will have more confidence and know how to face risks.

In “The "Y" Factor: Gender Bias, Child Custody And The Great Parenting Myth”, David T. Pissara argues that there seems to be gender bias when it comes to child custody and parenting. He establishes his point by acknowledging the intentions of the the custody courts from a legal perspective, the bias that occurs in courts and mentioning a man's virtue to protect and guide the development of a child through the use of personal opinion. However, I wish to argue that Pissara's arguments are somewhat biased and lack factual information to backup his claims. Pissara is in no doubt correct that family courts want what is best for the child.

Men’s economic consequences are not as drastic as women after a divorce. Noncustodial father’s income increases due to a smaller household. (Lamanna, Riedmann, Stewart 2014). His expenses have decline by no longer having to spend for a whole family but for an individual. However, some men experience a decline in income like women because of the absence of a second income. (Lamanna, Riedmann, Stewart 2014). Divorced men are discriminated at work and are paid less than a married man. Furthermore, noncustodial fathers get taxed more since they don’t have dependents to claim (Lamanna, Riedmann, Stewart 2014). Noncustodial fathers get paid less child support from noncustodial mothers due to their low income compared to noncustodial fathers who pay

To the majority of people, joint custody sounds like the best choice for the child but there is a bad side to it. Disagreeing with joint custody does not always mean the child should only be with their mothers; there are many fathers that are loving and wonderful parents. However there are many cases of fathers causing problems and hurting their children by fighting for custody for the wrong reasons. A study has been done that shows the reasons for a group of fathers to get involved in a custody battle. The main reasons were to punish their wives, they economically and psychologically refused to subside their ex-wives, and they had a patriarchal concept of the male as the “Superior” parent (Chesler). Even though fathers fought for custody

With the divorces being so high, the children are usually left in the custody of the mothers. The mother would then have to work full time in the work force, and as a parent. A lot of couples don’t realize how strong the value of family has on the children. The children pay attention to what happens with their parents and that’s what some children grow up being like at times. With parents divorcing more these days the family bond continues to decrease. Without family bonds, it leads to a broken family.

Parenting is different for everyone, but is any one way really better than the other? Amy Chua, a professor at Yale University, believes that the strict parenting style of Chinese mothers is the way to go. She believes that her strict and often harsh parenting style contributed to the success of her daughters. Chinese parents believe that if their children are successful, it is a reflection of the parents. Hanna Rosin, a contributing editor for the Atlantic, has very different views from Ms. Chua about the correct parenting style. Ms. Rosin believes that the more relaxed, nurturing, and self-led style of Western parenting is the better way to raise children. She believes that placing your children under immense pressure can produce

Each and every day a child somewhere in the world is experiencing major changes within their family. One of those major changes is divorce or separation of parents. Divorce is “the action or an instance of legally dissolving a marriage”(Webster, 2011 p1). Today’s reality shows that couples only have one in two odds of remaining together. “ The U.S. Census bureau – involved in research about counseling children of divorce- estimating that approximately 50% of all American children born in 1982 lived in a single-parent homes sometime during their first 18 years. Mostly are due to divorce”(Children of Divorce, 2008 p.1). The rapid increase in divorce rates is a factor that has contributed to the large decline of the typical family. “Over 1

Children and single parenting begins with the divorce of a couple who have children. The majority of children live with their mother. Non custodial fathers usually have less contact with their children, and involvement usually declines as time goes by. Since most single-parent households are mother-headed their income is usually below that of a man, this causes economic distress and fewer opportunities for educational and extracurricular experiences for the child. Economic constraints may limit growth enhancing experiences. Even children whose fathers pay substantial child support are faced with limiting experiences. Children hate divorce because having two of the most important people in your life living apart hurts. For children,

In addition, studies have shown that those who have had first hand experience of a divorce in their home are 38% more likely than to go through their own divorce than those who did not. These children suffer through weakened relationships with nearly all family members, especially those members with whom the child does not visit frequently. Since 90% of custodial parents are mothers (Divorce