A Cultural Informant Was My Brother

Sexual orientation plays a vital role in the personal identity of people across the world. For those that are heterosexual and fit the more accepted standards of sexuality, they have an easier time finding their place in society. The rest of the population that does not fall under that category have more of an expedition ahead of them. When finding your personal identity, you look at the social norms of society and where you fit in. The more common roles of men in society are to be brave leaders and have a strong physique. They are supposed to provide for and protect their families. If you are a gay man, these stereotypical characteristics might not apply to you. If you are a woman in society you are expected to take care of your children, cook the meals and be compassionate and nurturing.

There is always that one thing, be it small or large, that separates a person from the crowd. In Kenji Yoshino’s “The New Civil Rights” he supports this idea, claiming that “in our increasingly diverse society all of us are outside the mainstream in some way” (552). People are bound to be different, as they each have their own experiences that molds their personality. Therefore, it is impossible for everyone to be “normal” if a population is filled with unique individuals with various characteristics, yet, society seems to always find a way to define normality and set the standard. It decides which traits are unique, eccentric, or quirky, and which are strictly “abnormal,” and therefore shunned. When this occurs, other members of the community have little problems ensuring the “different” individual knows they do not fit in. People do this because they do not take to time to understand individuals who are labeled “abnormal.” It is a result of their own laziness and lack of desire to be educated about them; they decide automatically that those human beings are deemed less without getting a chance to know them. This phenomenon occurs frequently with the LGBTQ community. The population decides that not being heterosexual or cisgender is grounds for bullying, and that being part of that faction is too “different” to be a part of their society.This ignorance blinds them from widening their definition of normality and expanding their views. People have to be better educated to have more accepting views as it not only limits themselves, but also harms individuals around

Growing up gay during adolescence, a time when a sense of self is being developed, realization of who you truly are, is often not possible for young gay men. Being different, not seeing yourself in characters on television or in books, or knowing a gay couple living in a long-term relationship deepens your doubts of being accepted by your family or friends for who you are on the inside. Hiding feelings of attraction toward other males while trying to cope with male hormones is a challenge. Frequently the choice made is trying to fit in, run with the other boys, pretend you are interested in the opposite sex, and measure up to society’s hyper-masculine ideal. Feeling awkward in a life that feels foreign to

Every day in the United States, a young person, under the age of eighteen faces homelessness, and most often it’s because of others. In a report by The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, it was noted that 26% of LGBTQ youth were kicked out of their homes when they came out (Ray, 2006). The Urban Justice League reports numbers as high as 78% of LGBTQ youth that “were removed from or left their foster care placements because they were un-welcoming or hostile towards their sexual orientation and/or gender identity ” (Feinstein, Greenblatt, Hass, Kohn, & Rana, 2001). The United States is an independent, individualistic country; we prize the freedom of expression, but do we really? One of the most significant, if not the most important, social structures is the family. Gay, lesbian and bisexual individuals who are aware of their sexuality, must create an alternative self to present to family and friends, especially if there is an understanding, verbalized or implicit, that homosexuality is not tolerated, or simply wrong. Many gay, lesbian and bisexual men and women would rather go with the flow, assimilate, not make waves, rather than to express their own gay identity, and risk ostracism.

Consider the frustrations of bisexual and/or transgender individuals when the LGBTQ community’s experiences are defined largely by the experiences of gay and lesbian individuals (LGBT Advisory Committee, 2011). Self-identified bisexuals make up the largest single population within the LGBTQ community in the U.S. (Egan, Edelman, & Sherrill, 2008; Herbenick et al., 2010; Mosher, Chandra, & Jones, 2005). However, both research on the LGBTQ community and funding for LGBTQ organizations tend to focus exclusively on gay and lesbian individuals, rendering bisexual individuals invisible and sidelining or eclipsing their particular needs (Miller, André, Ebin, & Bessonova, 2007). This invisibility has serious consequences for bisexual individuals’ sense of belonging within the LGBTQ community (LGBT Advisory Committee,

I see that a few of us are choosing specific individuals populated in this group: Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT). I believe the reason why this particular group of people is plagued as a subject in counseling, and mental health is due to lack of awareness that society has this particular group. Nonetheless this marginalized group of people is actually a society within a society of its own.

Greenan & Tunnel (2003) posit that the societal marginalization exerted on same-sex couples, translates into internalization of an inferior status (as cited in Wetcher & Bigner, 2012). Herdt (1989) describes the process of coming out as the process of introducing an individual’s sexual orientation to broader circles of people, commencing with the self. The fear of coming out is often associated with fears of emotional rejection by family members, or internal belief of disappointing one’s parents. To cope with this fear, often gay men resort to concealment of their identity (Herdt, 1989; Ramirez & Brown, 2010). The social construct of belonging to a minority community, the avoidant attachment style and the threat of conflict within the family of origin system acts as the reagent that evokes Steve’s emotional distress which he regulates by withholding disclosure. Brain’s feeling of insecurity and wanting reassurance could be attributed to the vast discrepancy between the interactions he has experienced with his family of origin and current family system he shares with Steve.

Assimilating completely to society’s norms is not an option either, especially to those whose very existence defies these norms. Many aspects of queer theory scorn those who do make decisions deemed regressive by popular queer theory, for example, the accusation that LGBT individuals who advocate for marriage equality are upholding heteronormativity. “Critics of the same-sex-marriage movement have argued that advocating for marriage rights is assimilationist and simply affirms that some families are better than others.” (Brandzel) This critique fails to take into account the importance that marriage can have to some people, and the legal and economic benefit to being married. Additionally it implies that establishing a longterm relationship is somehow not a part of being gay. Assuming that every action by an LGBT person must be subversive not only tokenizes LGBT individuals, but also places an unjust amount of pressure on the shoulders of people who did not ask to be put on a pedestal.

A few weeks ago I was sitting in my kitchen going over my “to-do’s” for the week and I realized I hadn't figured out what to do for my second reflection paper for my SW 333 class. I told my roommate that I was troubled by the assignment since I didn't want to “interview” one of my friends and talk about the same old same old “highs and lows” of being an lgbtqia+ identified individual in today’s society. We all know how that paper would read. Luckily, my friends mom overheard my conversation and suggested I meet up with her old co-worker as he would be a great person to interview. Suffice to say, she was more than right. A week later, I met up with Tommy Allen and had a great open discussion about a variety of issues and topics that not only effect both the local and national communities. A little background info about Tommy Allen: He is the publisher and lifestyle editor at Rapid Growth Media, as well as a Commissioner for the city of Grand Rapids, which is a mayor appointed position.

As stated by Dillon, ethnicity is understood by an individual’s patterns of association with others of similar ethnicity, and by the groups shared practices and meanings (Dillon, 2010, p. 363). Namely, homosexuals create their own culture and share common behaviors with other homosexuals. Common behaviors can be going to certain restaurants or bars that are considered “gay-friendly”, certain sexual practices, and ways of dress and mannerisms. There are celebrities, actors, and public figures that homosexuals consider to be symbols for the gay community. This common culture creates a schema for identifying homosexuals; a man who dresses and talks flamboyantly or a lesbian who acts masculine may be automatically labeled as a homosexual. In comparison, many people think of certain stereotypes when they think of certain ethnic groups and use those stereotypes to create a schema for those groups; for example, African-Americans are thought of being loud or “ghetto” and Asians are thought of being academically inclined. Of course, these stereotypes are not true for every member of that category, but society has a constant desire to impose rigid categorization. Both homosexuals and ethnic minorities may also be subconsciously adapting stereotypical behaviors in order to fit into a particular category. They may believe that they cannot fit in among people who are different from themselves so they learn to present themselves to others in a particular way, seek ties with others who they believe belong in a particular category, and create certain subcultures (Dillon, 2010, p. 363). People desire to be with others who are similar to them, which causes a need to create these certain categories. In today’s world, both ethnic and sexual minorities face a high level of discrimination; by belonging to these categories, individuals are able to find a place in the world where they understand that they will be

Me and my brother Silas were born a year apart . He was born in 1956 and I in 1957. Our families history is a dark past , where evil flows through our blood. They were all devil worshipers ,that went back to the 1800s till now. My family was known as scratchers back in the day , nickname for what they were . They would worship animals , then blend in with the outside world , in order to survive . They would let one woman conceive as many babies as they wished , in order to keep the bloodline and tradition going. The active worshipers would eventually get caught or die alone , keeping the bloodline going would make their work never end. By the time me and my brother Silas were brought into the world , the tradition was still going , but it wasn't a demanding ritual like in the past .

It is necessary to consider the position of essentialism in affecting identification. Essentialism stresses on the notion that difference is fundamental. People bond to each other based on the so-called commonalities, such as race, gender, nationality and so on. However, individuals can be devalued and avoided because they belong to certain groups (Young, 1990). Also, people loathe members from their own groups or other oppressed groups through emphasizing on a sense of difference (ibid). Taking the situation of black queer people to examine the idea that ‘I was born black, you choose to be gay.’ First, the notion of born as black expresses that blackness is a fixed or a given identity, which sets a boundary to exclude black queer people from

What I am today is the reflection of my family's history. History of endeavors, pains, failures and growth. One evening, I was talking to my grandma and she started telling about our family. At first, it seemed quite boring, but ended up in tears and made me learn the most important lesson of my life. It was quite a deep thing to realize for a kid but fortunately and eventually I understood.

Out of all of my friends, teachers, and family that have helped push me in school, and have been there in my life, there is one person that really sticks out in my mind and has changed my life forever. My brother is the person that I think about when I think of someone who has really changed me and influenced the way I feel about school and about doing my work. My brother was always a good student in elementary school, but when he got to high school things started to go downhill. I never really cared much about it until one day when it changed my life and way of thinking forever.

Sir James Whyte Black explained that he chose to study Medicine mainly under the influence of his elder brother, William Whyte, a graduate in Medicine from Scotland’s St Andrews University. (The Lancet 2010)