A Moment of Fear and Joy

I was overwhelmed with emotion as I had lost the main father figure in my life, I wondered how I would go on, and even asking myself, did I want to go on. To this day I regret not going in to see him one last time. That is something I will have to live with the rest of my life. From that moment on I learned how to cope with life as it hurled its trials and tribulations my way. However, little did I know there would be something coming my way that would threaten my life on this earth. In June of 2003 I went to what I thought was a routine eye exam. After the examination my optometrist originally concluded that I had a detached retina. I saw an Ophthalmologists where upon further examination he discovered there was some sort growth attached to the back of my right eye. After several tests were completed, I was lead into a quite dimly lit waiting area and told the doctor would be in to see me shortly. As I sat there my mind began to race as to what could have they possibly found. After what seemed to be an eternity of waiting the doctor came in sat down beside me and proceeded to tell me that I had a melanoma tumor attached to my eye. At first I didn’t understand the magnitude of the situation and what the doctor was trying to tell me. I said, “I don’t understand”. He looked into my eyes with a look that I knew something was seriously wrong. He said, “Todd you have

When my dad came home that evening he sat me down and asked me if I knew what cancer was. I had an idea so I just nodded my head, he went on to tried to explain to me how bad the cancer was that my mom had been diagnosed with. Seeing my dad so afraid scared me. The fear I felt then led me to realize that I needed to try and hide it because it would only hurt my dad more to see his children so upset. I did my best to help, I tucked my little sisters into bed while my mom was away at the hospital, read them stories and did the best I could at preparing snacks to comfort them. After my mom arrived home and she recovered from the surgery she started chemotherapy. The miserable treatment that attacks the cancer also makes her very ill. Every other week she was sick. Before every bad week I wanted to cry, but that wouldn’t help anyone. Lane and Kenna already were crying, if I cried it could only hurt my parents

It was last year around christmas time. My mom was stressed out working overtime trying to pay for christmas gifts for everyone in the family and cooking meals. She basically overworked herself to the max. While she was at work the day before christmas, there had been a leak in her break room where she works. She had been complaining about it and she had asked someone to come in and fix, but they never did. She went on break and well she slipped and fell on the knee she had surgery on in January . She was in excruciating pain and the ambulance had to come and get her. She was out for 2 weeks but she wasn’t sent to therapy. She tried to go on her own and they would treat her but insurance would cover her injury because our primary care physician

When I was in 7th grade, I learned to be religiously literate, through trusting God in hard times instead of being ‘medically literate’; I learned that letting go of things, and not letting my emotions take over at the wrong times, helped me to step up my faith. During 7th grade I had an experience that most people will never have or understand. I was great at hiding it externally, but internally, I was on my death bed. It all started with a physical, which, of course, was no big deal. Not until there appeared to be a big problem with my X-ray and I had to be referred to a spinal surgeon to double check my results. I ended up receiving a confirmation; I had scoliosis, and that there was nothing left to do, but wait for back surgery. Naturally,

Before realizing what was happening, a nurse was trying to put an IV in my arm. The needle compared to my little arm looked huge and too long to go in my arm. I refused to let them touch me and tried to run to my mom. When they had a hard time succeeding at putting my IV in, they decided to get help from my mom. She calmly told me to lay down and to watch her, while they put the needle in. It was hard to ignore the pain pulsing through my arm and all the commotion happening all around me. I looked at my mom and saw the tears that were falling down her face as they held me down. When they were done, there was an IV and a cast on my arm, so that I would not be able to pull the IV out. Then they wheeled me into another room where my mom held and comforted me, while we waited to hear the results.

When I was about five years old I had something happen to me that would change forever. My life before this was not the best and was really confusing to understand and that was because I was always moving into different houses with my mom and would always have a new dad which as a little kid you don’t really know what is going on and have to just deal with it. My mother was not the best and did not take really good care of me.

Early October 2016 to January 2017, was the hardest time ever in my life. In October we found out that my Grandpa had a very aggressive form of stage four brain cancer. We knew that there was something wrong but we never thought it would be that bad. For the next month, the doctors ran tests, decided on a game plan, and gave results. My grandpa was in severe pain and confusions. We got the results that he would need to go through surgery on his brain to remove the tumor. This was around November 15. That was probably the scariest day of my life. His surgery and I will never forget, was at 12:10 pm. I remember sitting at the kitchen counter and I just prayed for half an hour. After that, I remember going on my computer and searching on Google

When they finally got a good job, my mom would have to miss work because of my doctor's appointments and surgeries. My very first surgery was really scary for me because I didn’t know if I was going to wake up. I always hated surgeries, I can’t remember how many surgeries I had but there were a lot. Some didn’t even work. All the test they would also do on me was horrible as well. The one I remember was when they had to put me on a wooden board with string holding me to it, I can’t really explain the feeling of it. But it was just horrible. Everything they did never did

I really wanted to go and see my brother, but my parents wouldn't let me and that made me When my parents went to go see my brother and I wanted to go, but they wouldn't let me. I sat there and waited for my parents to get back in silence. When they got back they looked like they were about to cry and just me seeing them made me cry. We sat there for an hour in silence until a nurse came in and said we had to go to a different floor and so we headed upstairs and by that moment I knew what was going on, my brother wouldn't make it. When we got upstairs we went into this room that was bigger than the one we were in. We all sat there in silence for a long time and then someone came in and said that we can say our final goodbyes to my brother.Next thing I knew I seen a priest and I tried to stay in the room but I couldn't do it. When my brother was still alive, he was my hero and I wanted to be like him. Smart, caring ,and he helped others.That night really screwed my life, even to this

Last fall, I went for a checkup appointment because I was complaining to my mom of the amount of pain I was in. My doctor kept telling me that “scoliosis doesn’t hurt”. He took my x-rays and my curves had increased tremendously. We had to schedule the appointment I would have to have my spinal fusion surgery. I remember sitting in the room and the only two things I was thinking about was if I would ever be able to cheer again, and how excited I was to finally be relieved from all the

It was a hot Spring day in the middle of a soccer game of my Freshman year. I felt that pain that impacted my life forever. It changed my outlook on life and made me realize how truly lucky I am. I came home that evening and complained to my Mother how bad my chest was hurting. She told me it was most likely indigestion or something I had ate earlier that day. Her being the educated nurse that She is, I believed her and went on about my night. Soccer season continued and the pain was still there but only when I ran. I didn’t think much of it and ignored it. Soccer season ended and I had never felt the pain again. That was until later that year, I walked from my class to the office. I could feel them again. I told

My father had been experiencing lower back pain for a few months. I remember how uncomfortable he appeared at my brother’s home for a Thanksgiving family gathering. I saw in his eyes that the pain was getting unbearable for him.

There are many monumental events that have occurred in my life, but the incident that left me paralyzed and partial blind was the turning point.

I experienced illness when my Dad was diagnosed with cancer. The most devastating aspect of this experience was when we had to make a choice as a family on how we were going

“The most beautiful moment in life may not come as soon as you think and once you have it, it doesn’t always last forever or end the day you have it. It lasts for however long you wish for this moment to last within your own life,” read the colorless poster on the wall above my bed. I honestly thought this was complete and utter idiocy, considering the fact that this quote were to be based on their absolute perception of this world. The creator of this quote were to have been refusing to fully comprehend that not everyone is treated with the same respect as others and may live a devastating life to the extent that they cannot create a beautiful moment in life now, nor in the future.