A Parent's Choice to Empower or to Control
I was raised in a home where corporal punishment was a way of life. My parents, both from a very strict religious background, felt justified in spanking and instilling fear in the name of God. They believed they were fulfilling their parental responsibilities; this is how they were raised by their parents, spanked to ensure respect and obedience. I can remember walking to kindergarten with tears in my eyes. As I walked to school, the tears would roll down my face, and I could not understand the feelings of anger and resentment stirring inside me. As a child I wasn't always sure why my parents, who claimed to love me, chose to spank me. This caused some confusion for me especially when the
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She would stiffen her body and cry. Once we arrived at the store there were times she would scream, cry and throw herself back if she did not get what she wanted. When she was learning to walk and curious about everything, she would grab everything and anything in her reach. Should I have followed my parents' example and spanked her? What would this accomplish?
There are those who believe that because they were spanked as a child this made them a better person. They knew what the consequences would be if they misbehaved--corporal punishment-- so they avoided getting into trouble. They feel confident that this is the way to raise their children. After all, if they were too fearful to misbehave then so will their children be and if a child stays out of trouble, parents feel they have done well in their parenting responsibilities. They view spanking as a positive tool in child rearing. Spanking may be the easy way out, but I don't believe this is what a child wants or needs. I believe children need values, direction and guidance. I feel children should behave because it is the right thing to do, not because they are fearful. I believe a child needs to feel a sense of freedom to make mistakes and find his/her own way in life. Allowing a child this freedom will enable the child to make choices to control his/her own behavior. I believe a child deserves our respect, patience, love and understanding. In my opinion, spanking does not convey love or respect. The only
Most parents have debates in whether "to spank or not spank' when it comes to their children discipline. However, the first and the most common response of many parents are to spank, then probable trouble back in their mind and ask themselves, did my response was okay? Many parents do not even bother to stop and think through their actions. Commonly corporal punishment comes out of hands; it is not disciplined anymore it becomes abuse. All parents have their tradition of discipline and probably believe is the correct one, because they were taught that way, some are okay, but others are “NOT” correct. Although some of the parents blame their own child, themselves or whatever is happening around them. The parents need to discipline their child in a way that is not
Have you ever been spanked as a kid and felt angry towards your parents? Did you feel they just hated you? Spanking is a form of corporal punishment which is a punishment intended to cause pain in many different ways. Corporal punishment started in slavery and led to schools and homes. Although many states have banned corporal punishment it is still allowed in 19 out of 50 states. Many adults will agree children just need a ‘good ol’e spanking’ and others will argue that it is a negative way to parent and causes more problems. Spanking children is not a proper way of parenting because it gives a negative effect on children.
Even after years of research, the issue of whether spanking is an adequate discipline strategy or damaging to children remains a controversial topic. According to Kazdin and Benjet (2003) the definition of spanking is “. . . hitting a child with an open hand on the buttocks or extremities with the intent to discipline without leaving a bruise or causing physical harm (p. 100). In addition, according to Maguire-Jack, Gromoske and Berger (2012) only a few studies propose that spanking is an effective form of discipline. On the other hand, there is more evidence to show that spanking is an unsuccessful form of discipline that can led to unwanted consequences (p. 1960). I personally do not take a stance in this topic because I can see valid points from both parties. Although, I believe that the way the punishment is presented to the child is extremely important. For example, I feel that the child should know why he or she is punished and what is expected of them thereafter.
The experts that are against spanking say that it is a violent act and teaches children that hitting is okay. Pro spanking advocate, Dr. James Dobson, reprinted a very informative article by Dr. Den Trumbull M.D. and Dr. S. DuBose Ravenel M.D. entitled To Spank or Not to Spank: A look at an age-old question that baffles many physicians. It states, "There is no evidence in the medical literature that a mild spank to the buttocks of a disobedient child by a loving parent teaches the child aggressive behavior" (Dobson, 2004, p. 127). Dr. Dobson also cited the doctors whose article said that it is impractical to suppose that a child wouldn't show violent behavior if parents used other forms of discipline rather than spanking. Most toddlers, who have yet to be spanked because of their age, commonly strike out against others in aggravation. This is true of any toddler, seen out in public, who throws a temper tantrum over not getting his way. Countless parents, frustrated themselves, simply remove the child from making an undesirable scene. The only thing to do for a child of that age is to remove temptation and distract the child with a toy or juice cup. As the toddler grows, distraction is more difficult and the disciplining methods increase intensity. Some experts against spanking also argue that
The more a child is spanked between the ages of 3 to 5 the more likely they will become aggressive (Online Psychology). Spanking can cause mental health problems and can have anti-social behavioral issues. Children that get spanked tend to defy their parents and have cognitive difficulties. When parents spank they think it is to help their child now what is right and wrong, but spanking has accidental detrimental outcomes. You don’t have to hurt a child to punish them, in 2014 about 80% of people spanked their kids. If the parent was spanked as a child the parent is more likely to support spanking
94% of parents said they have spanked their child once within the ages 3 to 4 (Corporal Punishment Beneficial, Should Be Parents' Choice). Many people feel punishing a child is up to the parents. Many arguments believe that spanking a child teaches them discipline. Just as a child shutting their fingers in a door, teaches them to not put their fingers there. Or touching hot water on the stove makes them become aware of hot objects on the stove.
There are lessons when it comes to spanking your children. I am glad this happened to me growing up because if it wasn’t I would not have become the person that I am today. There are many lessons and it helps children to become
We live in a world where punishment is used in order to teach someone a lesson, or to show them that acting a certain way isn’t right. The mission of parents is to be able to teach their kids to surpass them, and to prepare them for the real world. One way of punishment that a lot of parents practice is spanking their children. According to the website, Brookings.edu, it states that in North America, 81% of parents say that spanking their children is sometimes appropriate. While some parents think that spanking is a good way in order to discipline their children, they shouldn’t because it teaches them that violence is the answer, it can cause emotional damage, and it doesn’t teach them how to communicate with other people.
Many reasons why people are fearful of the spanking technique are because they believe it to be “ineffective” and dangerous. Some believe that it is only going to produce fear itself into the child’s eye, and only make the child fear his parents rather than understand that there is a reason behind the spanking. Because of this act of “harm” some would say, it is only going to produce a negative effect inside the child’s brain and he will use this new found knowledge on other children. This spanking, explained by experts, will only negatively impact children rather than producing a better outcome, and will make the child produce a violent behavior of their own later on in life. While on the other side of the argument, people believe that it if spanking is properly used and understood by the child, it will be the most effective to repent undesirable behavior in younger children (not of infants). It’s believed that if you take away privileges from the child, it will only increase their temperament and make them behave even more inappropriate than before. When children become older then spanking from the parents or family should become less frequent because the child will understand that there will be consequences for their own actions taken place. But the spanking shouldn’t be used to actually cause physical harm, because this would be come to known as actual child abuse, rather than actual method to better increase the actions of the child. All and all I believe that spanking is a proper technique in disciplining children. Although it’s a good to do so it also has to be used in an appropriate matter, otherwise it could just turn into child abuse. But I believe earth itself is becoming too soft, and soon one day everything will be dangerous. If it were possible, would you want to live
Just about everyone believes that spanking is a necessary method of obedience for children to help legislate order in or out of the home. According to Cheryl Ladd, “discipline is so much of an important part of being a parent. Because it’s very, very important to teach your children to take responsibility for their actions.” Although I believe that spanking is not harmful, granted that it is not excessive, it is used as a disciplinary tool, helps kids decipher what is right from wrong, and keeps children motivated to do better and stay out of trouble.
Right off the top of my head I can proudly say that I believe in spanking a child for punishment when they are the right age. If a kid is disciplined too little they’ll think they can get away with anything throughout their home life and not respect you as their parent. If spanked too much the child will grow a fear to do anything that he or she thinks they are going to get in trouble for. So think for one moment, what would happen if you found a perfect balance of discipline for a child that would benefit both you and whoever the child might be. One important factor of the whole punishment concept is whether or not the child understands why they are receiving punishment for his or her actions. That’s why it’s important
When I was growing up the term child abuse was rarely heard or talked about publically. The definition of corporal punishment is physical punishment, as spanking, inflicted on a child by an adult in authority. I could easily get a spanking in school by the teacher, and get another one when I got home. I grew up in the early eighties and I can remember a few of the spankings I received. One that I will never forget is the one I got for starting small fires in my grandmothers back yard. I don’t know why I was so obsessed with fire as a child but I was. The one time I was caught my grandmother made me go to the tree and get a switch. The one I came back with was insufficient. She looked at it and made me go back and get a bigger one. Yes, it
Spanking has become an arguably debatable form of discipline. According to a study at the University of Texas, the more children are spanked, the more likely they are to defy their parents (“Spanking: Pros and Cons”). There is a connection between spanking during the childhood and mental health diagnoses later in life. There are other options of discipling your child than spanking them, especially because all children can take spanking differently. Parents should not spank their child because it showers that being “stronger” is right, demonstrates that older people have a right to hit younger people, and gives the examples that violence solves all problems.
As a child I was spanked when I did something wrong. My parents never left a mark on me what so ever. Being spanked taught me respect and kept me in line. The way my parents disciplined me, I think is an accepted method of punishment. I believe what parents do to their kids at home
The second reason why spanking should not be done to children is the fact that it is a form of child abuse. At the moment, countries are divided as to legalize corporal punishment or create a law saying it is illegal. In the book written by Abela (2007) for the Council of Europe, she notes that “spanking of children less than two years old increases the risk of severe physical injury and the child is unlikely to understand the connection between behavior and punishment.” Most parents tend to go overboard when disciplining their children, especially when they are very angry and have not subdued their anger. This then makes the child their venting medium to get rid of that anger and sometimes, they do not apologize and even forget why they have done the deed. Other parents tend to make this a habit and even if the child did nothing wrong, they would still continue spanking the child. Eventually, the parents may slowly abuse the child through pain and totally make the child’s life a complete hell. As a result, child becomes frail and suffers psychological problems. Some countries, especially social services, use this as grounds to get the child away from the family and file cases of child abuse and physical injury that can lead to jail time if proven guilty. Spanking may also cause scarring and may be with the child