In a passage of Roberta M. Gilberts textbook Extraordinary Relationships: A New Way of Thinking About Human Interactions (1992), she argues “Excellence in relationships, for most people, ranks alongside unified field theory among the inscrutable problems of the world” (p. 113). I believe this statement accurately sums up how there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, only two individuals working on their own personal level of maturity, which in turn will lead to a well-functioning relationship. There were several concepts presented throughout chapters 13 – 20 and in the video discussions. They were each of equal importance and each greatly impacts the understanding of relationships and how to move towards better relationships.…show more content… 120). The best way for an individual to go about this process is to establish a one to one relationship with each member within the family of origin. This process is a lifelong project where in each step the individual will gain a higher level of differentiation.
Differentiation of oneself in the family of origin was a completely new concept for me. After reading the chapter, I could definitely see how essential this concept is when moving towards better relationships. One factor that stayed with me is how one of the most difficult parts within this concept is managing oneself around the family’s reaction to change. Gilbert’s (1992) states “When one does not play the accustomed role of emotional pattern…the system will react with various intense expressions of emotions” (pg. 122). Reflecting on my own family of origin, I would say that my family system does have some negative emotional behaviors and responses. I can see how it would be difficult to change these behaviors and attitudes, especially for the one reacting differently because they now become the outsider within the family. I have close relationships with all of the individual’s part of my nuclear family, but the relationships I have with my extended family are quite distant and not well