A Secret Final Draft : Bottling Up Feelings And Emotions Are Quite Difficult For The Average Person

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Amanda Cochran
Professor Rodrigo Gomez
English 1A
30 January 2014

A Mortiferous Secret Final Draft Bottling up feelings and emotions are quite difficult for the average person. Many people have certain coping mechanisms or like talking about their issues to others in order to help them overcome that problem and grow from that experience. Sometimes certain coping mechanisms tend to worsen one’s problems and that person’s mind may become skewed by creating new problems instead of facing the original issue. In my case, the coping mechanism I once valued corrupted my mind in such a way that I once believed that this certain vice was my only route to sanity and comfort. Two eating disorders called Bulimia Nervosa and Anorexia Nervosa happened to be my trail to sanity and acceptance for eight years of my life. As a young woman, I had major problems with self-esteem, acceptance, depression, and feelings of worthlessness. There was a sinister, demented voice constantly whispering distortions in my head; anything I did was not good enough, everything I said was not smart enough, and everyone who I loved was distant from me. I soon began to believe this demon in my head and later found a way to silence that demon by purging and starving. These coping mechanisms then turned into an addiction which gave me a sense tranquility and control. I was on my highest high after every purge, feelings of accomplishment and alleviation enveloped my psyche. I was too closed-minded to change my

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