Act I, Please, And Thank You For Attending My First Comedy Special

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Act I; Please Indulge me in my Narcissism
Olivia: Hello everyone, and thank you for attending my first comedy special (even though you didn’t have much of a choice)! Now, you all may be thinking, “Olivia, how are you even qualified to be making a comedy special; you’re just a plucky eighth grader who has no experience or expertise in writing comedy whatsoever.” To that I say, “I may be ‘just a plucky, adorable, charismatic, intelligent and quirky eighth grader with no previous experience or expertise,’ in your eyes perhaps, but I’ve got a lot of heart (and embarrassing moments to share in order to gain your approval and validation of my humor). You’re probably thinking, “Buzzfeed articles are going to be funnier than her.” Well, I’ll have
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I realized that any stand-up special is essentially phrasing embarrassing or funny life experiences in such a way to amuse an audience, and trust me I have many. See, it’s not so much whether or not you’re naturally funny, just be a natural hot-mess with a spunky attitude, self-deprecating behavior and ironic outfit and you’ll have people laughing in no time, whether it be with you or at you (most likely at you). Move out of the way Tina Poehler and Amy Fey, because trust me… I’m a professional. Do you see what I did there? I took an ironic, quotable phrase and made it the tagline for my comedy special. This whole comedy thing is but a simple algorithm of which many others such as myself follow in order to woo audiences worldwide, now, much like my tricked out tour bus, let’s get this show on the road! Act II; My Friends are Nerds
By now, you may or may have not have noticed that I am a gigantic nerd. My rebuttal to this presumptuous and superficial statement of yours is, “no feces, Sherlock; which is a fantastic show by the way. Did anyone watch ‘The Abominable Bride?’” Yes, no… okay, I’ve proved your point. Anyways, the reason I am so bitter is because my friends have noticed this too and tease me relentlessly about it by calling me, “NERRRRRRRRD!” And in case you were wondering, that’s all caps and with eight R’s, it’s endearing, we kid like that. Perhaps I do go into a
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