Advantages Of Living Together Before Marriage

Hey, Mom I just want you to know that Bob and I are going to live together. I know that you and dad do not agree with it, nonetheless, I am an adult and I am going to move into his place tomorrow. How can a parent see a child go through with a decision like this and know that he or she is making a wrong choice? Sometimes a young adult may make a choice that a parent does not like. As a result, a young adult has now plunged into cohabitation. Does it really matter if you cohabitate before marriage? In finding the answer to this problem, I have come across two articles which help explain the pros and the cons of the question, “Should couples cohabitate or get married?” The first article is Sliding Versus Deciding: Inertia, the Premarital Cohabitation Effect. When a couple has “dedication commitment” (Stanley, Rhoades, and Markmann, 503) with each other, cohabitation works for partners. It is likely your partner will stay in the relationship and want to work it out no matter what happens. The second article is The Verdict on Cohabitation vs. Marriage. While many people think that cohabiting is really the in thing with life today. Marriage trumps over cohabitation. Some marriage may not have the “happily ever after” it still has a better start to their life as a couple.

It is believed that trial marriages reduces numbers of divorces, but looking at the recent researches we can find, that a couple who cohabit before marriage is twice as likely to divorce, than those who do not cohabit. There are also people who do not believe in marriage and think that it is an old fashioned in a modern world. Those who think like that, see no reason ever to get married, and rather just live together. There is also a financial side. Today to have a nice, traditional wedding is very expensive and not every couple can afford it, so to live without being married is much easier way. In the other cultures, like in Asia or Middle East, cohabitation is still a taboo and it still means shame and social disapproval and in some places it is illegal to live together before marriage. In this case differences between developed countries and less developed countries are also very clear, but there is one side which should make all cultures believe in same things, it is religion. There is no religion, which allows us to have sexual intercourse before marriage, and Eastern cultures strongly comply with these beliefs. But then it looks like Western cultures, where cohabitation cases are much higher, are no longer religious.

Maybe these successful marriages were even strengthened because the couples lived together before marriage. Many couples who live together before marrying get to become much closer with their partner. They also get used to their partners habits and how to live with their partner before setting their relationship in stone. While some statistics show us that living together before marriage can potentially lead to divorce, living with your partner before marriage may give you a new point of view. This may either strengthen or weaken your relationship. Also, may help you to determine whether marriage is the next best step for a relationship.

Should we consider moving in before getting married? In the New York Times Magazine, the article The Downside of Cohabiting before Marriage states that “In 1960, about 450,000 unmarried couples lived together. Now the number is more than 7.5 million. The majority of young adults in their 20s will live with a romantic partner at least once, and more than half of all marriages will be preceded by cohabitation”. (1) Considering moving in with your partner before marriage you will get to know each other a lot better. The Census Bureau reports that over 40-50 percent of married couples in the United States end in divorce. When couples live with their partner prior to marriage, the responsibility is now of two instead of one. Splitting things like bills and rents has never been so easier. Moving is a huge step in a relationships. Two people are essentially committing loyalty to one another as they move in together. Living together is a better option prior to getting married.

It is said that every two marriages end in divorce. Even though this estimate seems to be pretty high, there is no question that in today’s society the biggest cause of divorce is people getting married way too soon. The question is “Should Couples Live Together before Marriage?” Some may agree that it is a good idea to cohabitating before marriage but some may not. Their decision may be based on their parents’ standards and strong belief background. From personal experience, couples (those who are actually planning to start a life together) should live together before marriage. For many reasons: to see how your spouse lives, it helps finically, and it is practice before the real thing. You always want to know you are ready before you need up with someone you are not compatible with.

Marriage used to be essential to a couple sharing a life together. Now, it is becoming increasingly common for couples to live together before marrying. Sharing a single rent check, shyness about making a life-long commitment, or just the popularity of cohabiting celebrity couples, such as Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis, are all reasons moving in together before marriage is clearly more popular than ever. While generally viewed as the perfect opportunity for couples to ensure they are a good match before becoming “marriage-official,” cohabiting may actually increase relationship instability, negatively affects health, and even has negative impacts on children.

According to Robinson, couples prefer to simply live together without ceremony or state license. Robinson also includes this type of relationship between couples are also referred to as “common-law marriage.” Today, it is common to find more couples living together as if they are married. Since 2001, the number of couples living together without the traditional ceremonial traditions by law has risen throughout the states (Slater). This type of marriage can become challenging because the commitment to one another is tested in more ways than one. Robinson explains how this type of marriage is also one that is “…an informal arrangement which may be temporary or permanent.” Marriage used to come before purchasing a house or having children however theses life changing moments are becoming the foundation of a marriage (Cherlin, 139). In doing so, couples living together and supporting one another as if they are indeed married in front of friends and family, has become a more common practice in

Motives for why people might live with their significant other before marriage can include the birth of a child, the savings involved because they want to see if they are compatible living together, or one partner wants to rush things. According to Arron Chambers, The effects of living together before marriage include higher divorce rates, unhappier marriages, higher amounts of arguments, less satisfactory sex lives, higher chances of pregnancy, and negative effects on the children (Chambers). The prior listed causes and effects may vary from relationship to relationship and the limitations are numerous depending on the couple.

Not one person could say that they enjoy being alone 24/7 without having another individual to look to for support. According to Merriam-Webster, marriage is defined as “the state of being united as spouses in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law.” Marriage, however, is more than just a piece of paper confirming that the “two have become one.” Marriage consists of trust, honesty, and commitment. Even though some may disagree, marriage is very beneficial and although marriage cannot guarantee a life without troubles, it can guarantee a life of healthy living.

a) Many people saying that living together before marriage is like when you are taking a car for a test-drive to help the person decide if they want that kind of car. They figure that while during their trial period it will give

Therefore, living together will ensure the couple whether or not they can get along in the future. Those people consider pre-cohabitation as an effective way to prepare themselves for being a family. According to Popenoe David, “in case the relationship goes sour, they can avoid the trouble, expense and emotional trauma” (4). It is a good idea to live together because if the couples have troubles they can just move out and continue with their separate lives without being obliged to undergo the different procedures of divorce. In the end, perhaps after living with various people, a person will finally find their appropriate partner for marriage and be happy. Popenoe points out that, “living together helps you see past romanticized notions and clue in to what marriage will really be like”(8). Accordingly, choosing reality as a primary factor to determine the result of cohabitation is a wise decision. People who cohabitate get a clue to see whether or not they will be able to share their lives with the partners they have chosen and what kind of disagreements might proceed within the relationship. Overall, the best opportunity of living up to one-another’s assumptions is to apprehend what they really are in advance and know what they care about.

Although marriage has been a central factor and gives meaning to human lives, the change in people’s lifestyles and behaviors through a long period of social development has resulted in alternate choices such as being single or nonmarital living. As a result, cohabitation has become more popular as a trendy life choice for young people. The majority of couples choose cohabitation as a precursor to marriage to gain a better understanding of each other. However, there are exceptions, such as where Thornton, Azinn, and Xie have noted: “In fact, the couple may simply slide or drift from single into the sharing of living quarters with little explicit discussion or decision-making. This sliding into cohabitation without

together in the early 1980's were between 25 and 34 years old, and an additional

Waite and Gallagher also discuss the benefits that marriage gives to couples. Including the financial benefits, in that through specialization and by sharing incomes getting married boosts standard of living by thirty percent and this benefit is not incurred by cohabitating, as those who cohabitate do not share as much and are less committed to the wellbeing of their partner. In addition to the financial benefits, they also discuss the emotional benefits of knowing you have someone who loves you and who would take care of you. Children similarly benefit from having married parents as there are more financial resources available to help take care of them and they get to spend more time with at least one parent.

The Cohabitation effect means Couples who cohabit before marriage and especially before a relationship or an otherwise clear commitment that tends to be less satisfied with their marriages and more likely to divorce them than couples who do not. These negative outcomes are called the Cohabitation effect. Marriage is a commitment about 60 percent of men and women cohabit prior to getting married in my opinion. Most looked to divorce among these couples in the seven years or however many mouths following marriage, for both men and women or elderly couples those who cohabit and those who do not.