Numerous problems occurred in human relationships are mainly the outcome of miscommunication. We always communicate with other people for whatever reason. We just talk to somebody about something, but we tend not to listen carefully to others. Even when we want to settle our issues, we immerse ourselves in talking about our own without consideration for other people's feelings. Only one word or just listening, sometimes, can work out difficult conversation.
“Seek first to understand and then to be understood” explains that we have dissimilar perceptions, and that we make assumptions about another’s intent. We have to get ourselves in a place where we can listen and really hear how the other person sees a situation, what his/her true intentions are. An open and honest curiosity about the other person, and a willingness and ability to keep the spotlight on them will be needed careful listening in conflict situations (Stone, Patton & Heen, 2010).
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This “yes, and…” stance allows you to recognize that the way you each see things matters, and the way you each feel matters. The “yes, and…” stance assumes that the world is a complex place. You can feel hurt, angry and wronged and they can feel the same. You can be certain you said what you said and they can be just as certain they heard what they heard you say (Stone, Patton & Heen, 2010).
We do not need to blame anyone. We must keep in mind how we contribute to this problem or conflict that we have. The purpose of our conversation in conflict situations is to learn about each other and to work together to be more productive and healthier the next time (Stone, Patton & Heen,
Communication in conflict can be both constructive and destructive. Those who communicate constructively, or productively, emphasize both themselves and
Conflict is inevitable in any personal relationship or among members of any group. While we encounter many types of conflict in our lifetime, we often look for ways to avoid conflict. So, why do we run away from dealing with our conflict? It is often because many of us fear the conflict will escalate into a situation we will not be able to sustain. “As conflicts escalate, they go through certain incremental transformations. Although these transformations occur separately on each side, they affect the conflict as a whole because they are usually mirrored by the other side. As a result of these transformations, the conflict is intensified in ways that are sometimes exceedingly difficult to undo” (Pruitt, and Kim 89). We
Establishing effective communication is about more than just exchanging information. You need to be able to understand emotion and intentions behind the information that 's being said, as well as being able to respond with a clear and honest message that fully portraits any information you need to
A town in itself has a personality like that of a living being. Its personality is a result of its past experiences, its occupants, and surrounding influences. These forces combine and act in a complicated way to move a city, like an organism, through growth and change. Significant forces such as the great depression influence attitudes, such as racism, toward others as individuals compete to survive. In To Kill A Mockingbird, by Harper Lee, Scout, the daughter of a lawyer by the name of Atticus Finch, tells the story of growing up in the small southern town of Maycomb, Alabama. Through her eyes, the reader discovers many of the struggles of the period faced by its inhabitants and resembled
Even when taking this approach some will still want to play the blame game or argue about who is right. The book suggests three different ways to deal with these situations. First, reframing the conversation into concepts the other person can relate to. Second, when the other party persistently puts the conversation off track, by interrupting or denying emotions, explicitly name that behavior and raise it as an issue for discussion. Finally, when all else fails, listen. The authors state "the single most important rule about managing the interaction is this: you can't move the conversation in a more positive direction until the other person feels heard and understood.” (Stone, Patton, & Heen, 1999, p. 206)
Experts say, “If there is a conflict that you need to address, first think through what you want to accomplish, your approach, and how the other person may react. Too often we make things worse by blurting out the first words that come to mind or attacking the other person” (Decker). Often, a misunderstanding is the cause of conflict, but perspective can fix that. Listening is the biggest part of overcoming conflict and it can expand the solutions for conflict. When we listen to someone and hear their explanation we can see where they are coming from and we are able to understand both sides of the situation. For example, “An effective communication skill for successfully resolving conflicts is to address only one issue at a time and avoid introducing other topics... avoid attacking the other person or making accusations, which will only lead to distrust and defensiveness” (Switzer). Sometimes conflict is bigger than two people and it takes more effort. In these cases,
Max, thank you for your reply to my post. I really appreciate your insight into different and similar perspective. I’m not certain myself how to best explain what entails different and sometimes uncertain, if I may behaviors to make out from. I know we all have our unique way of expressing and understanding the world around us. I wonder if the real message sometimes gets lost in the words we use or simply put misunderstanding takes place sometimes at its worst. Now, it could happen to the well educated, or the illiterate. I have seen it all around. I normally try to learn in increase my knowledge and try to comprehend the real message by pondering additional thoughts so that I’m not making undue judgments of others who may not mean exactly
Since people normally become hard headed on their sides position, causing them to take responses to their issues as personal attacks. That’s why “separating the people from the issues” helps the two sides come to an agreement without damaging their relationship. They identify the three types of people problems. The first type is differences on perception among the parties, because most conflicts are based on opposing facts it’s important that both sides understand the other’s point of view. The second cause is emotions, in long frustrating negotiations individuals often react with anger or fear when their position is endanger. In order to deal with this each side needs to acknowledge the opposing sides emotions, ignoring the other sides feelings could cause the situation to be worse. Communication is the final source of people’s problems, since most of the time parties could be listening to one another or planning out the response. Employing active listening is an example on how to fix this problem, by providing the individual your full attention and providing brief summarizes of what’s been discussed. The most effective way of dealing with people problems is to prevent them from happening. This is because once they arise the relationship between the two groups starts to dissolve. These problems are less likely to occur if the parties actively think about the three people problems and how to over come
Nowadays, the world is facing a lot of problems but the biggest of them all is lack of communication. People don’t know how to communicate anymore they don’t know how to express themselves which later on will cause a lot of problems.
Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. Communication is the most important skill in life. Listen with an intent to understand, rather than, as most people do, an intent to reply. If you know your perspective differs from the individual you are to engage, construct the opposing case first. Demonstrate you understand by rephrasing and reflecting. Listening is a fine art, one that requires energy and effort.
Remember, it is very easy to see other people's mistakes, but not as easy when taking a look at yourself, it is much harder to accept criticism, even from yourself- because no one wants to be wrong. This is where we need to get real about things. Communication is not about who is right or wrong, but instead about helping each other see things from each other's perspective, so that you can be on the page and avoid any misunderstanding that will cause unneeded arguments. Communication is not so complicated, once there is understanding in addition to understanding what the right way communicating is and what methods of communication works for you and your communication best. Effective communication cannot happen on its own or with the efforts of only one person.
Lack of communication is the root cause for most relationships problems. Communication is the key foundation in a relationship. Without its presence or absence, it affects the physical health. When communication is deprived, we would have no sense of ourselves. Communication enables us to survive and it has a major impact on all relationships. Without communication, a relationship has no chance of surviving its prime. To make communication work, each partner must be willing to ignore distractions and really focus on the other person. Communicating problems with a spouse, friend or family member is the easiest and most efficient way to keep a long lasting and healthy relationship. In a
Throughout my life I have tried to communicate but it's not always easy especially if it could affect you in a negative way, but sometimes it doesn't matter because if you or I were to not communicate our truth, people we care about, could get hurt. Lack of communication can lead to problems and confusion, which can lead to nothing good. “Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.” -Yehuda
Since people make judgments based on their perception, a lot of misinterpretation and conflict is caused. So in order to keep things on the right track, all one has to do is listen and look well and definitely not jump to conclusions; for this patience is necessary.