Age Difference in Relationships

The “Catch-30” stage is the reality of all the beliefs and concepts one may have had during the “Trying Twenties” stage. Both genders feel “narrow and restricted” and blaming one another becomes common between friends and families. Most of the topics which turn into debates and arguments are related to career and personal choices of a person’s twenties. Choices which may have sounded perfectly appropriate during the “Trying Twenties” now seem unfit and unsuitable. Everything seems to be contradictory from the previous stage, such as the life which was built during the twenties for the future. The idea of getting married becomes important, and “the single person feels a push to find a partner.” Couples already married start thinking of having children and building families. Arguments between couples are frequent, especially with those who are married for over a decade. The feeling of dissatisfaction is natural among older couples, and divorce may seem to be the only route for agreement. Lack of care and support among couples is what primarily sums up the “Catch-30” stage.

Mary Anne Fitzpatrick is the developer of the three original types of marriage. The three types include; Traditional marriage, Independent marriage, and Separate Marriage. When she was studying, she noticed that not every couple was the same, and that age played a factor in it as well when it came to categorizing couples in what type of marriage they are. “Couples can be differentiated on the basis of their “independence,” the extent to which they share their feelings with one another. Some couples are highly interdependent, depending on their partners for comfort, expressions of love, and fun. Other couples are more reserved and do not depend on their partners for emotional sharing and support,”(345). This shows Fitzpatrick’s theory of different types of marriage is true and each couple is different form another and that they should be put into different categories and not just one.

Dating back to the early 1900’s and all the way through to the present, romantic relationships have been viewed differently. From strict unwritten dating regulations to not having regulations at all, recent generations have become more liberated in making their own decisions. The progressing times have made us become a more accepting society and have caused a decrease in the strong practice of religion and class. Even though differences such as religion and class in relationships were more than an issue they were not always a complete deterrence.

This injunction to achieve maturity-synonymous in contemporary usage with 30-year mortgages, spreading waistlines, and monogamy-obviously finds its raison deter in modern love’s central anxiety, that structuring social contradiction the size of the San Andreas Fault: namely, the expectation that romance and sexual attraction can last a lifetime of coupled togetherness despite much hard evidence to the contrary. (403)

Furthermore, in 2007 a research was administered by Kathleen Gerson, writer of the American Prospect, based on the question of unsuccessful relationships as a result of poor nurturing through their childhood. She states that “young workers today grew up in rapidly changing times: They watched women march into the workplace and adults develop a wide range of alternatives to traditional marriage.” In other words, Gerson is explaining that due to the change in families, many children can administer a misconception of what relationships are composed of, concluding why their relationships are different than previous generations. This generation grew up in a completely different aspect when women’s rights were already given and male dominance was slowly vanishing. However, since this was a social time change for many, gender roles in the relationships differentiated between families, some decided to remain in traditional-like relationships, while others went to have their own directed relationships but because divorce was no longer unacceptable, many ended in divorce. Having parents as idols and creating their own perspective on relationships, children learned a lot from simple observations. For example as children grow up living with parents in an unhealthy relationship, as they reach a stage to date, they will initiate that all relationships are similar and will believe that-that is the correct way to behave in their own relationship since it’s what they were accustomed to. This

With age difference, it usually means that

Being married to one person for over twenty years is treated as a rare occurrence, something that has been rumored to be possible but is largely thought to be unattainable. Being in a relationship used to be seen as a prelude to marriage, and marriage itself had a certain sanctity that was protected by society in general. On the other hand, relationships can mean a number of things today. Two people will enter into a relationship because they are insecure, to avoid loneliness, to rebound from a previous relationship, or to simply enjoy the companion without any consideration of the future; beginning a relationship with the hope that it will lead to marriage is extremely uncommon. “[I]n earlier days going steady had been more like the old-fashioned 'keeping steady company.' It was a step along the path to marriage, even if many steady couples parted company before they reached the altar. By the early 1950s, going steady had acquired a totally different meaning. It was no longer the way a marriageable couple signaled their deepening intentions. Instead, going steady was something twelve-year-olds could do, and something most fifteen-year-olds did do. Few steady couples expected to marry each other, but for the duration of the relationship, acted as if they were married. Going steady had become a sort of play-marriage, a mimicry of actual marriage. (Bailey p.

Be that as it may, older women dating younger men on average say they feel four to ten years younger. They've found themselves more attracted to younger men as men their own age lack excitement, have become set in their ways, and don't enjoy the nightlife. Their only real fear: their younger man may run off with a woman closer to his age. This could be attributed to the younger man wanting to have children and start a family, and not being able to do that with an older

According to Gordon (1976), "It is clear to the teenager that he or she should have a date after school, and it is clear to the average man or woman that he should have a mate, family, a circle of friends." Cultural expectations for social relationships change with age. For instance, while it is appropriate for young children to have their primary emotional attachment to their parents, young adults are expected to develop new attachments to dating partners and later to a spouse. Therefore, Daniel Perlman and Letitia Anne Peplau stated that when a person's social relationships do not keep pace with age-related changes in normative standards for relationships, he or she is likely to feel

In the world of dating many people ask, does age matter? The answer is yes and no; as many different components come into play. In the movie “Somethings Gotta Give”, Harry dates a younger woman and when he meets her mom she doesn’t seem to mind that her boyfriend is much older than her. An older male and younger woman is accepted in society, whereas an older woman dating a younger man becomes labeled as a “cougar”. A man who dates a younger woman receives no such title, this is socially constructed by the white male dominant group, as to say it is ok for a man to do it, but when a woman does it, she’s a “cougar”. A man dating a young woman has been around for centuries and coming from a dominant group the

Ory and her colleagues then introduce the topic of aging and stereotypes to their readers. They discuss the different types of ageism and compare ageism to sexism and racism. The stereotypes about older people being useless, crazy, or sick are discussed more and refuted in the Macarthur Foundation Study on Successful Aging, Rowe and Kahn. The pair discusses 6 myths of aging, which range from the elderly constantly being sick, learning impaired, to having a dull sex life. The pair then discusses the reality of the previously listed myths. Contrary to the “To be old is to be sick” myth, Rowe and Khan explain that the elderly are able to function and complete everyday tasks until they are very old (Ory, 165). They then explain how it is, in fact possible to “Teach an old dog new tricks” because the human brain never stops learning, this myth goes hand in hand with “The horse is out of the barn” myth, which also explains how the elderly can learn and adopt new behaviors easily. Myth number 4 “The secret to successful aging is to choose your parents wisely” is one of the most ridiculous. Rowe and Kahn explain that a person’s health is not all determined by genetics. Although genetics has a part in determining a person’s characteristics, a person can change their characteristics through the use of epigenetics, by adopting healthy lifestyles and behaviors. Rowe and Kahn they go on to explain sexual functioning through the myth “The lights may be on, but the

Love may be blind but, the New York Post says “The rate rises to 39% for a ten year age difference, and 95 % for a twenty year age gap” (MarketWatch). Not only that, but later on in life when the couple gets older it becomes more of

They are neither early nor late boomer as they are of the average age when they entered the relationship. The couple is in Phrase 3 of Romantic relationship because they had discussed what would happen to their relationship when Will moves out the house and attend a university. I can infer that Will and Jada are in Late-Adolescence stage as their relationship is based on love. Their relationship is secure attachment because they appear to trust each other and Will felt comfortable sharing his feelings with Jada by talking to her when he feels upset. The positive outcome from this relationship that they have strong communication and trust as they felt comfortable expressing to each other. They may also have successful long-distance relationship if they end up choosing different university. The negative outcomes from this relationship that their relationship can fail if one of them have a huge argument and couldn’t come to compromise. Also, if the couple ends up taking different path, the relationship could collapse due to the differences of their experiences. Upon breaking up, it can be nasty because they had been together long enough and had emotional attachment to it. On the other hand, they may have a peaceful break up if they found themselves growing

Dating today differs greatly compared to dating say sixty or even eighty years ago. Dating trends today, such as cohabitation, would be considered insanity or chaos if these patterns were displayed in the 1920’s. Today the majority of persons who date are seeking the outcome of a marriage (although research does not agree with this). Eighty years ago, people dated for fun, pleasure, and recreation (Schwartz 116), and only “popular” people dated (Waller 1937), dating was a rarity, and limited to people in their late teen years or early adulthood. However, today it is quite different from eighty years ago with respect to the purpose of dating, and trends. Dating starts at earlier ages such as

This literature review will first define romantic relationships and explore what exactly happens in the development of these relationships. From the research found, individual’s age or sex did not necessarily affect the differences in communication. Some research claimed that communication itself defined a romantic relationship; while other researchers said that a couple having the conversation of, “what are we?” was enough to define the relationship. Sometimes it was mutuality in a relationship that helped define it. Mutuality in relationships was often increased with positivity and compliments between partners (Doohan and Manusov 2004).