Age Matter in Relationship Essay

Berger (2010) describes the preconceived ideal type of relationships that were sought by young adults:

In my perspective people around me have been dating since we entered middle, I don't know why but they have.I always wondered what they did because we just entered middle school and they can't do anything but hold hands, I don't think they went on dates because they were too young and I believe nobody’s parents would have allowed it during that time.

Fairy tales tell us that once upon a time a girl met a boy; they fell in love, and lived happily ever after. Reality is not that simple. Long-term relationships force couples to get to know each other, involve themselves in each others’ worlds, fight through the hard times, and eventually develop deeper connections as noted through distinctive stages of Knapp’s relationship model. Although I have dated the same person for over two years, our communication through relationship stages makes it seem as though I am now dating a different person than the one I met years ago. Following dissolution and subsequent repair, I realize the most exhilarating of roller coaster rides develop through sets of ups and downs, much like the

When looking for a partner to settle down with, one usually seeks someone who is similar to them. They might look for individuals with similar hobbies, beliefs or even age. The reason behind this is due to a theory known as Social Homogamy. Social Homogamy is when individuals are attracted to a person of a similar ethnicity, race, age, or maybe even beliefs. (Gonzalez, n.d). Due to this, there is ultimately a correlation between sameness and compatibility as when people are more alike they might relate and get along better. When people see others who are like them, they subconsciously become attracted to them along with having feelings of trust and comfort (Patel, 2017). This eventually leads to a closer bond and possibly a more successful relationship (Patel, 2017). The purpose of this research is to examine why marrying within a specific social group is more advantageous than marrying an individual of a different social group. Firstly, individuals of different social classes tend to have different norms, and this leads to key differences. Secondly, the distinctions in age groups between the couple can negatively affect a couple’s marriage due to dissimilarity, thus leading to dispute. Lastly, when a partner of an individual is from the same or similar social group, they will fit in and better adapt to their partner’s lifestyle. Therefore, marrying within the same social group is more advantageous than being with a partner opposite to them. This can be proven through the

The lifespan observation involves a young female adult who is 18 years old and the older male gentleman who is 57 years of age. They were observed walking and playing outside during recess time at school. Although gender and age shape leisure activities, they were both socializing, interacting and playing while enjoying a brisk walk on the track field. For example, the female student could not keep up the fast pace walking exercise versus her counterpart the older staff member. Moreover, I found it quite fascinating and interesting that the young female could not keep up with the older male staff member. In fact, both individuals were engaged and enjoying the fitness and fun during the leisure recreation activity. Age is nothing but a number.

In real world perspective, young adults go through the same situations. Young men will get attached to young females because it is something fairly new to them. Young adults are learning date etiquette from their parents then they can choose what they do with it. Our parents are very knowledgeable and have been in certain situations that they do not want to see their children in. But, young adults still choose to not respect their parents and will do what they want to do sometimes leading to consequences. This is a growing dilemma with young adults in this generation.

The minimum age requirement for consuming and purchasing alcohol is being questioned once again in society. Since 1984, the United States of America has maintained a minimum age requirement of 21 after President Ronald Reagan and most of the citizens noticed a significantly high alcohol death rate and accidents in youths. With the minimum age being raised from 18 to 21, American’s noticed the decrease of alcohol related harms and stayed satisfied with this new law. Thirty-three years passed since this law was enacted and now society is looking for a change. With the rise of binge drinking and alcohol related deaths in adolescents, citizens are aiming to lower the minimum age back to 18 based on their idea that this would benefit and protect the youth.

Furthermore, in 2007 a research was administered by Kathleen Gerson, writer of the American Prospect, based on the question of unsuccessful relationships as a result of poor nurturing through their childhood. She states that “young workers today grew up in rapidly changing times: They watched women march into the workplace and adults develop a wide range of alternatives to traditional marriage.” In other words, Gerson is explaining that due to the change in families, many children can administer a misconception of what relationships are composed of, concluding why their relationships are different than previous generations. This generation grew up in a completely different aspect when women’s rights were already given and male dominance was slowly vanishing. However, since this was a social time change for many, gender roles in the relationships differentiated between families, some decided to remain in traditional-like relationships, while others went to have their own directed relationships but because divorce was no longer unacceptable, many ended in divorce. Having parents as idols and creating their own perspective on relationships, children learned a lot from simple observations. For example as children grow up living with parents in an unhealthy relationship, as they reach a stage to date, they will initiate that all relationships are similar and will believe that-that is the correct way to behave in their own relationship since it’s what they were accustomed to. This

Explorations in love and intimacy become more important in emerging adulthood, which can lead to stress. Instead of dating in groups, dating becomes a couple aspect, which focuses on physical intimacy. Romantic relationships in emerging adulthood tend to last longer than they do in adolescence. (Arnett).

Instead of using self-justification to protect their own character and prevent character change, the couple uses their differences to build each other up. “…No matter how painful it can be to let go of self-justification, the result teaches us something deeply important about ourselves and can bring peace of insight and self-acceptance” (Tavris and Aronson 183). Therefore, the success of a relationship lies in the removal of self-justification and including more “we” instead of “I” or “you” statements. If a couple is able to completely remove self-justification from their relationship, they are more likely to grow with each other and remain happy for many years to come. Often time, we see this in older couples.

The most common relationship problems are those between couples. Having intense feelings for another, being deeply or passionately in love with someone is sheer joy. However, when troubles arise, is can be devastating. Whether the relationship is strong because of passion, comfort or admirable qualities such as commitment towards each other, it leaves a feeling of disappointment when there is a disturbance that appears as a flaw in this perfect affair of the heart. Depending on what the problems are,

Many researchers often ask the question, "Is sex more important than life itself?" In my opinion, I think it could very well be. The procreation and continuation of our species and it' s evolution in life will play powerful roles in our development of our lifespan, health and well-being. The desire and intimacy intinct of a male and a female also contribute to the species success. The measures we take to advertise ourselves to the other sex is what's very species specific but unique when viewing sexual appeal. Popular theory of reason for the differences in gender of a woman; is that she is to be selective in the choosing multiple willing suitors to her one egg or offspring. On the other end of the continumn is the competing or

Young Adulthood: Love – Intimacy vs. Isolation – This is the period of development during which many people get married or enter into significant relationships and has been defined as anywhere from 20-24 years to 20-40 years. After a young person has established his or her identity, he/she becomes equipped to establish intimate relationships with others. Failure to do so can result in long-term feelings of isolation.

Early adulthood is the point in a human 's life where he or she is able to establish intimate relationships as well as friendships. Studies suggest that one is not fully developmentally complete without the formation of intimate relationships, for without them a person would become isolated and develop a fear of commitment, and likely, a mistrust in other people. To be able to form such intimate relationships one must have appropriately progressed through the earlier stages of life successfully.

This literature review will first define romantic relationships and explore what exactly happens in the development of these relationships. From the research found, individual’s age or sex did not necessarily affect the differences in communication. Some research claimed that communication itself defined a romantic relationship; while other researchers said that a couple having the conversation of, “what are we?” was enough to define the relationship. Sometimes it was mutuality in a relationship that helped define it. Mutuality in relationships was often increased with positivity and compliments between partners (Doohan and Manusov 2004).