Airlines Don't Thank You for Flying

600 WordsFeb 4, 20182 Pages
"Yes, hello, ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking. Thank you for flying with Overpriced Airlines even though you don't really have a choice because this was still the cheapest flight you could find two weeks before your boss sprung this surprise no expenses paid business trip on you. It will take about two and a half hours to fly three hundred miles to get you to your destination, not taking into account the 45 minute delay due to some less than cooperative passengers, and some very smart regulations." "I know that having you board was a pain especially since we have you do it by group number, which you have no control over, instead by row number, which just creates a giant clump of people that takes an extra 20 minutes to sort out. Also, we are very (not) sorry about the fact that a controlling boyfriend stole your seat without asking you or us to try and accommodate him, just so he can sit next to his girlfriend that is clearly not enjoying life as of right now so either way your flight is going to suck because he is supposed to sit next to a mother with a newborn baby who is not having any of this." "Also, we are kind of sorry, but not really, about the fact that people who clearly needed to check a bag in didn't and is trying to fit their 30 pound bag into the overhead bin and refuse to check their bag in when the flight attendant tells them to, insisting, 'I got this.' They will finally check it in after many failed attempts and then the rest of the

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